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Raoul Duke's Reviews

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“Don't eat the eggs.”


I've been eagerly anticipating The Men Who Stare at Goats ever since I stumbled across it one night on imdb. This amazing cast list popped up before me all of a sudden and I thought it was a joke at first. Like some dickhead had made up some incredible movie and somehow got it posted on imdb for unw...
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“I don't understand how the U.S. economy works, much less some sort of a self-sustaining one. I don't understand how finances work.”


11:00 AM, On a Tuesday. Philadelphia, PA The Gang Is Broke. Well, Frank is broke. But since Frank is the financial backing for all of the crazy shit that everyone gets into (whether they're starting a band called Chemical Toilet or impersonating police officers) it means that the free ride, th...
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“C'mon, we're gonna go paint your room a color that's not stupid. Then were gonna throw your toys in the trash.”


Here we are. The beginning of another season of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. We have some amazing episode titles this year--"The Gang Hits the Road", "The Gang Wrestles for the Troops", "Mac and Charlie Write a Movie", "D.E.N.N.I.S." But tonight, we're going to start it off with an episode ori...
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“And the best part of it actually for me now, is the fact that everybody thinks that I've been molested. Sooo, in a way, my life is ruined. Uhhh, in the meantime I'm gonna go in the back office and cry and cry and cry and drink for a while.”


Bluegrass music. Milk. Bathrobes. Pledge. Acne. Eczema. Incest. Fork stabbings. Unibrows. That's right, it's the McPoyles. Charlie Get's Molested marks the first introduction of this creepy family with twin brothers Ryan and Liam McPoyle played by Nate Mooney and Jimmi Simpson respectively. Where...
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“Buried in it? No! Screw that old bitch. He's a Nazi. Let him die and burn in Hell. Let's sell this shit on Ebay.”


40,000. According to Blue Oyster Cult, that is the amount of men and women that die every day on this planet. It could come at any moment. You had just better hope it doesn't happen at Paddy's. Otherwise you'll have two assholes fighting over who gets to bang your Granddaughter and a bunch of random...
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“Shoot him in the face!”


A gun is a very dangerous tool as we all know, and in the hands of the four biggest dumbasses on the planet, it becomes even more so. But when Paddy's gets robbed, and Mac's first instinct is to go out and get a gun, a firearm is thrown into circulation with The Gang. Mac and Dennis go and purchase ...
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“I'm cracking eggs of wisdom.”


Charlie has cancer. Okay, so maybe he doesn't, but the fact that he's pretending to makes for one great episode. One day at the coffee shop, Charlie observed that The Waitress was wearing a "Lance Armstrong support cancer" bracelets, so he hatched the plan that if maybe The Waitress thought he was d...
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“This is classic Tammy.”


Drinking when you're under 21 is a very exciting and dangerous enterprise. Sure, it could lead to drunken driving and it may develop many kids into life long drinkers, but when you're a teenager, you really don't think about that shit. You're wondering about who you have to shoulder tap to get some ...
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