So stop me if you’ve heard this one before: two guys walk into an abandoned asylum, alright? And they find this naked dead girl---but she’s not really dead. And one of the guys turns to the other and says, “Wanna have sex with her? “ Okay, so I’m hearing the acoustics of crickets… ...
Add Review To List

Creepy claustrophobic spaces, dark passages churning with menacing sounds, temporary amnesia clouding your every judgment, a dame with a dirty blade jumpin’ you every chance she gets, cannibalistic creatures populating every facet of open space… And that’s all just when you wake up. Bad day ...
Add Review To List

Why did I wait so long to see this?! I mean, here I am scavenging amongst the newest releases in search of a film which could possibly satiate my need for humor. And all this time it was right in front of me! Curse me for wasting time on such blasé comedies as I Love You, Man; curse me! While I...
Add Review To List

The following might contain spoilers for those easily surprised… Then again, there really isn’t anything you can spoil about this movie… What the hell just happened? Did I just see a movie or did sixty minutes just shimmy its way out of my life without so much as an adieu? Seriously, doe...
Add Review To List

This may contain spoilers… But it is a slasher film. So there’s really nothing to spoil… Anywho… If there’s one word which would fully encompass my feelings toward H2, it would have to be the word “really”. Now take that simple word and place a simple form of punctuation on the ...
Add Review To List

Man, when you're not constantly looking over your shoulder suspecting someone as being a merciless killer, fighting for your life against crazy couples, hoping that the pistol pointed at you is out of bullets, or questioning whether the proper term is "red snapper" or "red herring"; Hawaii can be qu...
Add Review To List

As I sit here right now, vacant eyes upon a blank slate, hands lifelessly placed against cold keys; I'm finding it rather hard to put into words my emotions over the cinematic fiction that graced my corneas just hours ago. Was it good? No, it was far better. Great, then? No... Still not right.....
Add Review To List

Ah, teeny-bopper horror… There is none quite like you… You are not at all like the R-rated horror films that tease and bully your delicate ways… While they depict on-screen violence with the ferocity of a wolf on rabies, you remain steadfast in showing us nothing at all. While they capital...
Add Review To List