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B. Alan Orange's Reviews

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“Homecoming is an awesome little drive-in thriller that delivers a solid punch to the kidneys. If you enjoy spurned lover exploitation flicks, this one’s even better than last April's Obsessed.”


Homecoming takes the fine art of exploitation and mixes it with a raw teenage sensibility reminiscent of such excellent primetime soaps as (the new) Beverly Hills 90210 and The O.C. It will seem like familiar stomping ground for fans of Mischa Barton’s past television work. Only here, she gets to ...
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“It’s basically a Saturday morning episode of a show based on a popular movie. It may be engaging to kids, but it’s not that great. I don’t understand why I’d pay fifteen dollars to see it and not walk away with the DVD in my hand.”


Ice Age 1 must not be a very good movie. I own it. Its open. Yet, I don’t remember ever watching the silly thing. I certainly couldn’t tell you what its about. The only moment that sticks in my mind is that grotesque squirrel-like creature trying to make love to a nut. It worked as a ten minute ...
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“This film pushes the boundaries of its R rating past the breaking point. As offensive and funny as you might expect, Sasha Baron Cohen sets out to push buttons and ends up obliterating ones you never knew you had. ”


This is one of those effortlessly watchable experiences that completely takes you out of your chair and transports you past the screen. Some of the things being shown are quite unbelievable, and you’ll wonder how star Sasha Baron Cohen and director Larry Charles got away with it. Some folks will b...
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“My Sister’s Keeper is so incredibly sad, it’s almost funny. Only the dead will not cry at some point during this over the top, incredulous medical drama. And even they will feel compelled to weep at some point. ”


Small movies like My Sister’s Keeper are capable of pulling off miracles when faced with giants like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Funny thing is, both have pretty much the same storyline. In The Fallen, a young man must sacrifice his own life to save that of an ailing robot. In Keeper, a y...
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“It’s like a three-hour ride on a rickety wooden roller coaster with a burlap sack full of sharp silverware strapped to your head. It hurts. A lot. Yet, it’s oddly enjoyable.”


When Anvil sang Metal on Metal, they must have been referring to Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. This is the loudest, most obnoxiously jarring collection of images ever strung together in the form of a motion picture. It’s an unnecessary blender mix of flying car parts and human screams that ...
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“Weather Girl offers up a good message about life, love and true happiness. It’s a pleasant little confection that’s sure to shoo away any June gloom lingering around your window.”


Weather Girl is just another in a long line of romantic arthouse comedies produced on the cheap. It has its flaws, but its heart is in the right place. Its funny; which is hard to master on a minuscule budget with a group of mostly unknown actors. There isn’t anything particularly odd or interesti...
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“Woody Allen dreams up another implausible excuse to extol his burning hatred upon the world. And wouldn’t you know it? Some of it's kinda funny.”


This week sees two romantic comedies into the multiplex, and nether is able to support a plausible premise. The Proposal is all but ridiculous. An older woman with conjunctivitis of the soul cons a buff metro-sexual ten years her junior into a relationship sold on lies, and then manages to actually ...
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“A thoroughly unbelievable premise makes this latest romantic comedy a little hard to swallow. Luckily Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, and their super-strong supporting cast make it a nearly tolerable shot of shinning estrogen. ”


The Proposal is summer counter programming at its best, and should appeal to every soccer mom and school girl not dying to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen next weekend. Though, even some of them are being wooed to the darker side of big budget popcorn entertainment nowadays, and will likely ...
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