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The Cryptkeeper's Reviews

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“No, I can’t upstage Alec Baldwin! He’s the best actor in the world!”


Face it, people. If this wasn’t ventriloquist dummies, you wouldn’t love this movie. The humor is only about half new and fresh. It’s the dummies that make you like it. Think… Go back to all those annoying, or probably in your opinion, good, jokes in the movie. Think… If there were actors ...
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“The place I was raised, they didn't give us names. They gave us numbers. Mine was 47.”


I have read all the bad reviews for this movie, and I think a majority of the haters were the hardcore fans of the game. I have not played the game. So maybe this is a horrible adaptation of the game, but since I have not played it, I wouldn't know if the movie is accurate to the game or not. Howeve...
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“More action-packed than the first!”


Like I said, more action-packed than the first. But know I didn't say better. This one was I think just as good as the first. Both of these films are cool. Then they release the terrible Transporter 3, which is an insult to the series. But that's another story. This one, no matter how different it i...
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The Feature:

“One of the worst movies to ever come to existence.”


I first saw this DVD cover while I was on my trip to Hungary. Unfortunately, DVDs in other countries do not play on American DVD players, so I added it to my Netflix list when I got home. Well, I got what I was expecting. Actually not really. I am not sure what I was expecting. I thought this would ...
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The Feature:

“This is why you shouldn't do drugs.”


NOTE: If you are looking for a review of the DVD itself, then stop reading. If you want to know if the movie is good or not, then continue to read. This was quite the odd movie here. Not in a good way either. I mean, it was like a lame attempt at a killer twist ending, and it just failed. It's...
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“Where's the blood?!”


Well, this was better than I thought. I wasn't expecting much, even though most of the reviews were positive. I am not into "teen" movies that are geared toward teens, therefore get a PG-13 rating, though need an R in order to be taken seriously... for me at least. I find them cheesy and lame. This ...
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“Was this a joke?”


Well, I was highly anticipating this installment of the Transporter series. I was hoping that it would be just as good as the first 2. Unfortunately, it was one of the year's worst films, and an insult to the Transporter series, and Jason Statham. This movie was terrible, but not in every way possib...
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“Daniel Craig is the best Bond yet!”


Well, this was the first Bond film I saw in theaters, and I would have to say that I am glad I saw this one, because out of all 22 (as of now at least) Bond films, I think that this one is my favorite. Now to give a definite answer, I would have to view all 22 of them again, but I am pretty sure tha...
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