All Reviews
1 Star
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Sinks twenty tousand leagues under the sea..Before "Call of Duty" and other military-based video-games took over the at-home entertainment field, there were board-games. Yes, that's right; they are not an old legend or myth, just out-of-style c...more
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... It's taken something that could have been beautiful in its own naturalism and contorted it into a childish mess. It's taken a real event and made it into a stage play; it's taken real chimps and made them into a cast of performing characters...Meet Oscar. He's a chimpanzee that dwells in a jungle, gorges upon fruits, nuts and insects and plays well with others. Little does he know that such a simple life will soon be completely altered by e...more
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My Gym Partner's a Monkey is a terrible show on cartoon network and it must be avoided at all costs. It's even cartoon network's version of cat scratch (which is also terrible).My 2nd review after Donkey Kong Country. Oh my god. This has got to be one of the worst shows ever to be created on cartoon network. What the heck is the point of this garbage?! I'm gonna ...more
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Let me put it this way. I paid 13.25 to see Wrath of the Titans and it was worth every penny. This movie wasn't even worth dollar theater admission.I don't really know where to begin in reviewing this mess of a film, it's been a long day and my mind is just about as jumbled and incoherent as the plot of Cabin in the Woods. Just about. Not since T...more
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Clash of the Titans is a bastardization of just about everything to do with the Perseus story.Clash of the Titans is a bastardization of just about everything to do with the Perseus story. While Clash of the Titans takes the myth of Perseus and other stories in Greek mythology, it takes too ma...more
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To but it bluntly..Silent House does have potential on several occasions that i could remember. with little to no scares really terrible camerawork. The one positive is Silent House has a terrific ending to bad it goes wasted and never elaborates Skip ItSilent House .. is being compared to most recent horror camera flick movies including this years trash "The Devil Inside". Silent House is literally almost just as bad aside from the fact it has a gre...more
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A colossal mess.**I feel obligated to offer a fair disclaimer on my review. I have not read the material on which this film is based, nor am I even more than just remotely familiar with it. My review is solely of the...more
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Its ugly, but its beautful to watch!John Carter of Mars, or John Carter, or Virginia, or whatever this film is, which I truly have no clue to what its meant to be or wants to be is an awful achievement, of sorts?. It's a faithful adapta...more
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Round 'em up boys, we're strapping these varmints to skyrocket into space...and please don't forget "Happy" and the "Wonder Twins"!DreamWorks Pictures and Platinum Studios present... Created by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg on December 2006, his work was assisted with fellow Writers Fred Van Lente and Andrew Foley. While r...more
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... THE LORAX is an empty vessel of forced humor, obnoxious musical numbers, and poor voice acting, all coated with a veneer of colorful-yet shallow-imagery...So what is a Lorax? I mean, that is the question burning on everyone's head, right? Well, according to the film (not the beloved book which I have yet to read), it's a small, plump little creature tha...more
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Not an impressive, but very cliched and overestimated filmWhen I was 12 years old I really thought that American History X was an impressive film, I re-watched it last night to give my judgement about this movie. I was already fearing this...... Its an extre...more
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Act of Bullsh*t!!!The trailers for this movie should come with the caption reading 'Warning many cutscenes, bring your joysticks.' A cutscene, yes, an hour and 45 minute long cutscene, basically which is the running ti...more
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The first hour was actually not that bad, however it completely derailsAt the beginning of Man On Fire there came a somewhat interesting quote. Denzel's character asks himself if he is the right person to become a bodyguard, because he is not so communicative. Christophe...more
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It's like a DJ for a movie got bored after a while took a whizz and let the film play out with no guidance.Nev/Tal are possibly my favourite directors, namely they don't give a rats arsehole whether or not they are loathed or hated, what they are, are extreme, passionate, extreme, frantic, and very imagina...more
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... As a whole, Martha Marcy May Marlene is a missed opportunity as it was crafted as an Oscar contender first; a full-fledged character-study and narrative, second...In recent years, there has been a steady departure in cinematic norms. Much like the advent of "post rock" within the realm of music, our generation has adopted a new means of telling stories with cel...more
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"Breaking Dawn?...more like Breaking Bad (no relation to the show)...part 1In the first installment to the final chapter of the Twilight Saga, Bella and Edward finally tie the knot. The first weeks of their marriage prove to be the most difficult they've ever faced. The diff...more
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Denzel Washington - Tony Scott= No one Will Be Safe From A Lukewarm MovieListening to the Joe Hallenbeck's dialogue to a gun thug about sleeping with his wife, I fell in love with Tony Scott and found that he could do no wrong. Watching Denzel Washington go bat sh*t crazy ...more
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More plot found in a television advert.Throughout cinema history, independent film making has become more and more common. With some of these movies becoming both interesting and genre defining productions. With tighter budgets and less gu...more
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Haywire is dressed as this stylistic action flick, but if you look a little deeper, there's actually not much going for it.A very bizarre puzzler of a film; Ok, watching it, it made no sense, looking back on it I still can't get my head around the 'plot', so here goes... Mallory Kane (Gina Carano) is an agent of some kind...more
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The Grey is a massive failure when it comes to being pure entertainment.The Grey is a film that had plenty potential to turn into something great. Unfortunately, the film never soars any further than the level it sacrifices itself at throughout the entire play. Movies lik...more