TRICK 'R TREAT (2009)

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"Trick 'r Treat....more like Trick you into watching a load of crap"

Well, it's being compared to the original Halloween as a classic October viewing. Some say that they can't imagine single horror fan that won't fall head over heels in love with it. They say it's one of the best genre films of the past few years. 10 of 10, blah, blah, blah, BLAH. Bullshit. It's funny, though. Why is it that movies that get pushed back constantly and don't get theatrical releases and end up being seen by few, everyone praises it. This movie is shit, and I implore everyone to not just go out and by this piece of shit. At least rent it or watch it online, which is what I did.

I'm not one of those people that get into the hypes of movies. I think it's wrong to even hype up a movie at all, but it has no effect on me. Back in 2007, like every other movie fan out there, I saw this interesting trailer for a movie called Trick 'r Treat. The first word that came out of my mouth was, "Wow". Can't wait. It had a release date already for October 2007. I counted down the days and it was finally time, but no Trick 'r Treat was nowhere to be found, so I just had my Saw IV for the Halloween holiday. I tried to find out everything I could about why this movie wasn't coming out. I heard all kinds of rumors, like they didn't have enough financing, but the most bizarre and shitty explanation I got was that they didn't want to compete with Saw. Come on, now, if that rumor was true, then that so much full of shit. Wow, I didn't know Saw movies was releases on everyday in October. If you didn't want to compete than just release the damn movie on the first Friday of October. It'll still have that Halloween feel too it. Saw usually releases at close to the end of October. Plain and simple, they didn't want to release at shitty ass horror movie.

Now, a while ago, I got on my computer and just started skimming through some free movies to watch, because I was so bored, then I came across Trick 'r Treat. I couldn't wait to get it on Netflix so I just turned off my lights, sat in the dark and got ready to watch this horror flick. I must admit, the first five minutes of this movie really creep me out. It was almost like an homage paid to Michael Myers, but after the kill sequence is over, that's when the agony started. First off, if your a big horror fan like I am, you'll know that the music score is a big part of what makes an horror movie great. The score in the first Halloween was so creepy and made the movie even scarier. Okay, the score in this movie is so over the top Danny Elfman sounding music. Douglas Pipes performs the score of this movie and it almost does sound like Elfman's work. It's way too loud and the pace is to fast. The music makes this even worse. Already, I'm glad this didn't get released in theaters, because I would have paid to see this piece of shit. This film is being called an anthology horror film, and it's really not one. Watch Creepshow and the Tales from the Darkside film. Those two are anthology. Well, maybe the movie's just trying to do anthology in a different way, because unlike Creepshow, which separates it's stories with chapters, Trick 'r Treat, constantly, skips from one scene to the next, backwards and forwards, earlier and later on. It just starts getting way too confusing. Also, unlike most anthology horror films, this movie doesn't know what it wants to be. It doesn't know if it wants to be like a party style horror flick, like Creepshow, or a straight horror galore-fest, like Tales from the Darkside. I'll give it this, Trick 'r Treat does capture that Halloween setting. Also, there is one sequence with some cool ass effects. Sadly, it tries to hard to shock, creep, and scare you. Michael Dougherty, the director, just goes way over the top, pushes the envelope and gets no results from it.

Trick 'r Treat is a below average, sub par horror movie that just disappoints you all the way through. You guys remember Nickelodeon's Are you Afraid of the Dark and R. L. Stine's Goosebumps TV series. Okay, take those two series combine them together and throw a R rating on that and you got Trick 'r Treat. Really, I'm serious that's what I got from this movie. Trick 'r Treat is nothing more than a R rated horror/kids film. However, I'll watch Are you afraid of the Dark and Goosebumps back to back before I watch this shit again. Some of you might bitch about my review. Try to say that I really didn't see it. Say I'm lying or some shit, but I understand. You haven't seen it yet and still defend it. Look, honestly, unless your like 11 years of age or under, you can't be serious and enjoying this movie and call it good, because when I was that age Goosebumps creep me out. If your a lot older, well, damn, your either lying to yourself and just bough into the hype of the movie and just don't realize how bad it is, or you don't really care what you watch. In closing, I'd rather eat an apple with razors in it before I watch this abomination of the term horror film.