HALLOWEEN (2007)

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"Evil Has A Destiny, and it's Bullshit!"

I remember when i was eight years old, watching John Carpenter's Halloween for the first time and loving it. It's sad, today, that now if i want to talk about Halloween i would have to say Carpenter's, because now we got this bullshit of a remake, Rob Zombie's Halloween. As much as this Rob Zombie guy says he loves the original Halloween, he's still taking a shit on John Carpenters great work. Motherfucker, if you thought that his work on that was so great, then instead of remaking it, why didn't you just try to get it re released back into theaters, so the youngsters to see it. Come on, now. All you give a shit about is the money. Now, I like Rob Zombie. I love his music, and I thought Devil Rejects was a great film. In fact, if it was Martin Scorsese or Steven Spielberg doing the remake to Halloween, then I would be treating them the same way. What makes this ordeal even worse is the fact that Zombie will not simply say that it's a plain and simple remake. Come on, now, re-imagining, who the fuck are you trying to kid, and on top of that it failed in every way. This is a terrible film.

As much as I hate this movie, I must give it some points for giving me something different in this remake, unlike many of these remakes today, that just put out the same old shit. However, the new wave Zombie brings into this film is what helps to make this movie unbearable and then we he's actually doing the half where he's remaking the film, it just becomes complete trash at that point. He failed in every way to give the audience back the mystery that surrounded Michael Myers. Basically, Michael Myers was a little kid that kept getting picked on in school and trash mouthed at home, and then from that, it causes him to go ape shit. I know what people are going to say. "Hey, he made Michael Myers real. That's real life". Okay, bullshit. If that were true, there would be so many Michael Myers out here today. Another thing that ruined this movie was the level of gore and the dismal scare tactics. I mean who was really scared. I don't care if he was 20 ft tall, the original Michael Myers is still scary. There was no build up of tension in anyone of these scenes. I don't know if I should blame the director or the actors. If anything, it was the excessive gory scenes in this movie that killed the tension, which is done better in the original.

Oddly, I don't see what's the big difference from this movie and the bad sequels produced from this franchise. It's doubtful if this movie would have made the money it did if it have just called itself a sequel, because that's all this is. However, unlike the bad sequels, Halloween 2007 put me to sleep. I was that bored by it, and the fact that he's making another one just shits all over the point of making a remake in the first place, which is to make it good again, although it doesn't do that, but why make a sequel. Let's not forget the failing actors that played Michael Myers. When i saw the trailer for Halloween, I said to myself, 'hey, why is a girl playing Michael Myers', because that's what that kid looks like, a fat, volley ball playing, girl. I blame Zombie for making the Tyler Mane's Myers into a bitch. Why is Myers kneeling down to Laurie Strode, trying to get her to remember him. Now, in Halloween 5, he did have this moment where he sheds a tear, but, immediately after, he gets back to killing mode, but in this shit, he only gets back into his mode, because dumb Laurie attacks him on the ground, so of course he would've gotten pissed. Many people might disagree with me. They prefer a watered down, bitchified, trying to be realistic Michael Myers, and if so, who am i to judge, but I do have a major problem. I've seen the theatrical and unrated version to this movie. One version has Dr. Loomis getting his fucking skull crushed, which many people have seen. Then you have the unrated version where Dr. Loomis does a 'peek-a-boo' I'm still alive, which tons of people haven't seen, trust me. Is Zombie having a mental breakdown or what. What's going on. I give up.