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TWILIGHT (2008)

"Oh Dear."

Now i know that this is an extremely popular franchise.....scarily popular.Like the jonas brothers almost!Im sure you could purchase a twilight themed vibrator if you looked hard enough.Now im not making fun of anyone for liking this but just like the jonas brothers this is fiercely gay!I mean jesus people do you even remember the last time vampires were cool!?!?I LOVE vampires or should i say LOVED vampires and i am not content to settle with make-up wearing emo teens parading around as vampires.Dracula would tear this silly cunt Edwards head off and insert it into his anus before he could say "I cut myself cause my daddy beat me as a child" Now i know that this is really a girl thing anyway,like anne rice writing about vampires who just like to sit around and suck each other off(also a major piss off!FUCK YOU Anne Rice!)Now if your a guy who likes this im afraid to say you are gender confused or someone has swapped your morning meds!Not saying i cant enjoy a good romance story,hell i like em as much as anyone!I mean the original dracula is all about romance,but its more of an epic,tragic love story that turns our buddy Drac into one mean remorseless son of a bitch!Not a teen love story between a centuries old emo vampire hermaphrodite and the new girl on the block.I wonder if i could pick up girls by powdering my face up nice and white and telling girls im a vampire.I mean at least thirty days of night the vampires are just primal beasties who want to eat the living shit out of any human in a thirty mile radius!May not be the traditional vampire but the way things are going in vampire movies nowadays it sure was refreshing!So thats basically my little rant in a nutshell so nobody take offense and please feel free to comment.Just dont call me names i cant handle that emotionally.

15 Comments


ChristianCullen's Profile
ChristianCullen
May 22nd, 2009 10:26am
Haha, read my review.
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Bragg's Profile
Bragg
December 8th, 2008 8:47am
FINALLY someone slams this properly. You're my new hero bro!
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RavenX5 God of Light's Profile
RavenX5 God of Light
December 5th, 2008 5:57pm
this movie is terrible,blahg!!is all about fucking Edward throught the whole movie!!btw,nice review
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kenwardski's Profile
kenwardski
December 5th, 2008 3:57pm
I agree with screenwriter, a little harsh. Me and and some friends have read all the books and the movie definitely does not provide justice. We all agree that any viewer that has not read the books would not enjoy the movie too much. Each scene is way too short and obviously you really don't get to see the characters develop. One of the reasons that we enjoyed seeing is just seeing the characters, I like each of the actors they chose. The movie also looks like it is a low budget film. Hopefully, with a greater budget, the follow up, New Moon, will make up for Twilight's flaws.
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THE SCREENWRITER's Profile
THE SCREENWRITER
November 23rd, 2008 9:05am
I liked the book, but i havent seen the movie yet. I plan on it though, i've heard both good and bad things about this movie. I shall see.
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The_Fallen_One's Profile
The_Fallen_One
November 22nd, 2008 3:38pm
well FOY im glad you dont feel you need to call me names!Yeah its ridiculous to look at some of these reviews and read "fuck ths piese of shit" but so far ive managed to find some pretty smart people on here.To be fair i havent read the book but im not so sure it would be for me im more of a Palahniuk man myself.And The Lost Girl thank you very much for being my friend!....sheesh im a nerd. Yeah it certainly is feverishly popular.And its got its audience i just figured id try and find some people i could rag on it with. lol Give it a shot and lemme know how you felt about it!
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The Lost Girl's Profile
The Lost Girl
November 22nd, 2008 8:41am
Great review - it can be risky, especially with the popularity of this book/film, to put your honest opinion out here, especially given you didn't like it. Appreciate the honesty. Still want to see it tho, out of curiosity. lol
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ONSTRA's Profile
ONSTRA
November 21st, 2008 8:24pm
well i will not call you names, but good review, mostly when people start off on here they start by writing like a small peace of shit.well you didn't so that's good. i disagree, because i think that the movie was will be amazing, especially that I've read the book and i loved it.
A little harsh though.
but good review.
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The Cryptkeeper's Profile
The Cryptkeeper
November 21st, 2008 7:31pm
no prob, man. Just dont expect the same courtisy from others. I personally agree, and i havent even seen the movie!! lol
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The_Fallen_One's Profile
The_Fallen_One
November 21st, 2008 6:55pm
man i am unpopular...do I just comment on my own review page to get back to you guys? For now it shall do.Thanks psycho!LOVE the new watchmen poster!You as psyched as I am?!And cryptkeeper i thank you for not calling me names,I realized that people were assholes on here but i figured id stick my neck out and you good folks havent quasi-publicly emasculated me thus far.Let me know what you think of it when you see it.Im glad you liked that moviebuff.I appreciate the comment i dont get those often.I was only so hard on it because i feel its these movies that slowly tear me away from my love for vampires.....i tried and tried to think of an analogy for that but hopefully you get me.And screenwriter my friend see above for my reasoning,so I take it you liked it? Thats cool to each theyre own.And a clockwork orange is your display pic so your good in my book!.....yeah theres no way this is right i apologize for the novelette of a response if someone could correct me on how to properly get back to my adoring public..haahaah...itd be greatly appreciated..i mean holy fuck look how long this is.Thanks guys I am now no longer a comment virgin!You popped my comment cherry!Like a group gang rape!soooo thanks.
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Psycho's Profile
Psycho
November 21st, 2008 5:13pm
I will never see this movie but good review.
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The Cryptkeeper's Profile
The Cryptkeeper
November 21st, 2008 4:37pm
oh, and Im not gonna call you anmes, because something tells me that this will suck, but if you say "dont call me names" then people probably will, just because most everyone on this site is an asshole.

good review
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The Cryptkeeper's Profile
The Cryptkeeper
November 21st, 2008 4:36pm
THANK YOU! This movie just looked bad!!! I still need to see it though.
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MovieBuff's Profile
MovieBuff
November 21st, 2008 3:27pm
"Just don't call me names i cant handle that emotionally".... that's hilarious. haha

I would have preferred a little more action in the flick, but I guess it is a teen love story.

Agree with most of your review... but not quite agree with the rating.
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THE SCREENWRITER's Profile
THE SCREENWRITER
November 21st, 2008 2:33pm
damn, a little harsh dont yea think?
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Reviewed: November 21st, 2008
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