"... Best comedy of the year!"
Why did I wait so long to see this?! I mean, here I am scavenging amongst the newest releases in search of a film which could possibly satiate my need for humor. And all this time it was right in front of me! Curse me for wasting time on such blasé comedies as I Love You, Man; curse me! While I was occasionally offering halfhearted chuckles here and there at movies which tried oh-so hard to hit that funny bone, Wolverine made me realize the error of my ways as I was allowed to laugh with abandon scene after scene, quip after quip; nary a moment transpired that I wasn't reeled over due to the constant assault of onscreen hilarity. Right now, this just might be the best comedy of the year!
Well, let's see... Wolverine is pretty much about... Well, Wolverine. Told in a stupidly brief introduction, Wolverine... Jimmy... Logan... Whatever you wanna call 'em is an angry confused kid with bone claws... Yeah... After fleeing his home, we're then treated to the best potion of the entire film: a montage of Wolverine and his brother, "Threatening Fingernail Extender"---I mean Saber tooth---are showcased fighting against various backdrops of war. Seriously, for me, the beginning credits are the most accomplished aspect to the entire film. They depict a certain seriousness and grit that feels quite barren from the rest of the film, not to mention how snazzy it all looks via various filters and zooms. From here on, there' s a story about loss and brotherhood and stuff, but it's all kind of pushed to the side in favor of constant action. Really, the story isn't what anyone came here to see, nor is it what the filmmakers wanted to place focus on. And thankfully, the action is abundant and thoroughly entertaining... Oh, but not because it's well choreographed or too creative, sorry---silly me... Because it's an excellent combination of hilarity and ridiculousness. It's not really supposed to be---it just is.
Every fight toppled the bout before it in terms of sheer absurdity. If it wasn't sequence after sequence ripped from far better material (Equilibrium, Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes), it was a jaw-dropping spectacle of unanticipated comedy. And I loved it. Some moments showcase mild---MILD---ingenuity (Sabertooth grabbing the spinal cord of warping Will I Am), the majority of onscreen action seems as if it was written by a child deseased with an inability to decipher between "cool" and absolutely idiotic. On the plus side though, this idiocracy fires on every cylinder for every sequence of bloodless violence offering up an amount of compelling stupidity that hasn't been seen for at least a month... Or two... Yeah, a month or two.
To give you a better mental image of what I'm typing about... Here are my top three moments...
The "Rewind That Shit!" moment
1. While seeing Wolverine roar out of a barn on a motorcycle as it was already exploding on him allowed me to check off one of the five things I need to see before I die, seeing him flying through the air onto an oncoming helicopter defied expectations. The absolute denial of physics and logic, the utterly questionable way it was even shot---comedic gold I tell ya.
The "Really? Did That Just Happen?" moment
2. The entire Gambit fight. If it wasn't enough that Gambit can apparently warp onto rooftops after immediately being knocked out, we're also treated to the aforementioned wall climb as well as Wolverine cartoonishly hacking away at a fire-escape as it lowers.
The "Is This Supposed to be Menacing?" moment
3. Anytime Sabertooth does that kitty-cat run an' pounce.
Really, the sheer lunacy applied to every portion of conflict is what makes this movie watchable. Otherwise it would have been a completely wasted effort. While the dialogue itself isn't as atrocious as I was led to believe, the actual narrative is. Most of the film isn't developed properly and only uses enough dialogue to get each character from one fight to the next. Added to this are numerous questions and plot-holes such as the adamantium procedure itself. How does the substance know where to go? How does it not seep into his skull and melt his brain as it continually tries to heal itself? around his teeth? How does it go over veins? How does it automatically shape his claws into perfectly cut blades? Another scene has Wolverine leaving his love interest alone with various baddies. When she screams---he returns... Except that when he re-enters, he's suddenly behind all of them (which allows him to surprise and blindside Sabertooth) when the door he used is on the opposite end of the room. Little issues like these continually rear their heads, and while it's material I didn't really care about given the type of film, I still couldn't ignore them as these dilemmas were so blatant and seemed as if the filmmakers wanted the viewer to question the material at hand.
What's kind of sad about all of this is the potential that it all had. As he displayed in his film Tsotsi, Gavin Hood is a somewhat talented filmmaker. But beyond the choice of scenery, none of that skill is really produced. And about the scenery, it's one of the better points to an otherwise incredibly weak film. The vast and beautiful Canadian wilderness is used to its fullest affect and they've approached the showdown settings (mainly the final battle) with more care than anything else. And while some of the transitions are nicely handled, they become overused, presuming them more creative than they really are. And out of all the actors and characters, the only one that I was happily surprised to see was that of Smokin' Ace's Tremor Brother Kevin Durand portraying The Blob. He was even the only one throughout the entire film who properly delivered his purposefully humorous lines in such a way that I had myself a light-chuckle whenever he opened his mouth... Though his prosthetic arms at the beginning did look outright fake.
When it comes down to it, Wolverine is not a good film, but it is a hilarious diversion which perfectly fills the deep, dark void which so many comedies have been leaving of late. That said, it's arguably one of the funniest, most mindless films to be had in quite some time. Come for the unintentional humor, stay for the... Eh, stay for the same thing.
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