"This highly anticipated sequel is the definition of badass, but an unfortunate amount of randomness holds it back from being as epic as Michael Bay wanted it to be. It's like fireworks exploding in your face...which can be both painful and beautiful."
*SPOILER WARNING*
Before going into this sequel to the 2007 blockbuster Transformers, one must realize that this is a pure popcorn movie, and that's all it has to be. It's no surprise that Michael Bay is best known for his out-of-this-world explosions and effects, and with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, he brings it to a level I don't think he even knew was possible. If you go into the theater accepting this, then you will find yourself throuoghly enjoying the majority of this 2 and a half hour concussion. If you don't accept it, or if you're just bias against Michael Bay, then you will most likely take your cup of soda and smash it over your head, because it will feel a lot better to person like you.
TF2's story is not the cause for the 3.5 score. I was actually impressed with the story. If you are expecting a 150 minute tear jerker and thought provoking experience, then you obviously didn't get the memo that this is about giant alien robots that transform into cars. On paper, the plot outline sounds like the coolest shit you'll probably ever hear. Set 2 years after the first movie, the Autobots have formed an alliance with humans in a top-secret government agency called NEST which travels the globe hunting down Decepticons in hiding. However, NEST is being threatened to be shut down when Galloway, a National Security Advisor, is positioned by the president to confront them about the massive damage they did in Shanghai, China(more on that later).
Meanwhile, Sam(Shia LeBeouf) is getting prepared for college and his romance with Mikaela(Megan Fox) is getting serious. Upon arriving at his dorm, Sam meets his roommate, a tech wiz with "big dreams" who is a little too suspicious about the events surrounding the Transformers, which have been kept under wraps by the government. The only humans who know of their existence are the Witwickys, Mikaela, and the U.S. government. When Sam begins seeing symbols of an anceint Transformer language, he finds himself once again in the middle of the war between the Autobots and Decepticons, as the Decepticons are intent on destroying Optimus to ensure The Fallen's safety upon arriving on Earth. The Fallen, a former Prime himself, betrayed his brothers when wanting to erradicate Earth's sun to produce more Energon, disobeying the Prime's rule not to destroy a planet inhabited by life. When Optimus is killed, the Fallen returns carry out his mission of destroying Earth's sun. Sam now must find a way of resurrecting Optimus, leading to another action-packed adventure that takes them to Egypt in a final epic showdown.
While that sounds like a mouthful, it's actually pretty simple once you layer it in action sequences like covering a cake in chocolate. It's the right story that isn't too complex or too under developed for an adaptation of a toy and cartoon property. It's the kind of story that you would find in the cartoon. No, the story is not the big problem with this movie. It's not the action sequences that reign down like a meteor shower. It's not even about Sam and Mikaela's awkward relationship that no one cares about. It's the fact that the amount of unnecessary crude humor is probably equivilant to the amount of action in this movie. The first flick had a certain charm about it. It was still crude at points, but it didn't overdo it. For TF2, screenwriters Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman seem like they were having a contest with Michael Bay to see if they could include as many random scenes and awkward dialogue as Bay could action sequences and special effects. The end results are funny but unnecessary moments that do nothing to serve a possible purpose. Normally I don't find crudeness in movies, comedies or otherwise, to be a problem. Action movies like this shouldn't be taken seriously as quality films, so a little humor never hurts. But a good portion of this movie feels more like American Pie than Transformers. Examples include humping(both dog and robot), getting high, John Turturro's ass, and Devestator's enormous balls. Yes, you read that right, ladies and gentlemen.
Two newcomers of the Autobots team doesn't help matters. The Twins, as they are called, are two Transformers that act like their personalities were modeled after every person to ever grace the TV screen on MTV or VH1. People are calling it "racist." It's not. It's stereotyping. There's a difference, and when it's done in a humorous way like this, it shouldn't be taken offensively. More to the point, they act like white, wannabe gangsters than they do actual blacks. These characters offered some funny moments, but they were rather unnecessary and random. They weren't the biggest problem, but they were still lowpoints. Other new Transformers worth mentioning include RC, a female bot who I don't think got enough screentime...the only female robot in the whole movie, and she's hardly paid attention to. Soundwave, a fan favorite by many, will probably disappoint people seeing as how he's basically a satellite who spends the entire movie in space processing information. But let's face it: this was a clever tactic seeing as how he was, what? A cassette player in the cartoon? Sure he had other alternate modes, but a sattelite can just be one more to add to that list. Ravage acts as the Decepticon spy. Jetfire is presented as an ancient Transformer, one of the oldest. He's a highlight in the flick when it comes to new Transformers. Then there's the big one: Devastator, who spends most of the flick eating sand and showing off his junk. You be the judge.
As for new human cast members, Ramon Rodriguez plays Leo, Sam's roommate. For the most part, he's a likeable addition to the cast and will most likely be returning for the threequel. His energy is nearly on par with Shia's and was actually the highlight when it came to humor in the movie. Isabel Lucas plays Alice, who, when first announced, was shoved down our throats as a potential love interest for Sam who comes between him and Mikaela...well, you could say that. It's definitely no love triangle, though. Lucas offers nothing but more eye candy, a threat to Megan Fox's sex appeal. She's just another hot chick among an enitre college of them, and whoever has a complaint about that can shove it up their ass. Yes, there wasn't an ugly chick to be found anywhere in that college. But the second you drop the phrase "giant alien robots that transform into cars," you've passed the reality line. Lucas's character should have just been left to blend in with all the other Sports Illustrated swimsuit models. Even so, I can see this jumpstarting her career like the first movie did for Fox. The aforementioned Galloway is played by John Benjamin Hickey. The character, to me, is a replacement for John Turturro's Agent Simmons from the first movie: a know-it-all who doesn't see the big picture when it comes to ensuring everyone's safety. Turturro does return, along with Shia, Megan, Josh Duhamal, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Dunn, and Julie White. It was nice to see all these returning faces since they did so well in the first movie, especially Dunn and White. Their chemistry together is charged with laughs, and even in the most unnecessary of scenes, they make it worth a little something.
Michael Bay also returns to direct this movie. Bay is one of my favorite directors. I haven't seen a movie of his I wasn't at least entertained by. He's not the greatest, and he's not the best when it comes to emotional scenes, but you have to hand it to the guy for trying. He amps up Transformers to the next level, incorporating as many breath taking spectacles as he can. It reminds me of a Ron White joke, in which he tells the story of one of his friends who gets killed by fireworks. "I can't help but feel responsible for his death...but it was so pretty. 'No!...well, wouldja look at that.'" Transformers 2 is like fireworks exploding in your best friend's face. It might be the most painful thing you'll ever experience, but it's so goddamn beautiful. If a crude joke isn't being passed or Sam and Mikaila's relationship isn't getting showcased, you can bet there'll be an explosion. Right off the bat, we are bombarded by a massive Shainghai chase scene that clearly depicts just how badass Optimus will be in this movie, setting him up for a forest scene that cements that assumption. It is the definition of badass and it is a scene that one has to witness for him/herself. I'm surprised the pregnant lady sitting in front of me in the theater didn't just go into labor right there.
The screenwriters and Bay actually acknowledged some issues fans had with the previous installment. As said, Optimus is bad ass, and the only reason he gets the shit kicked out of him this time is because he sacrifices himself only AFTER fucking up most of Megatron's cronies. Megatron and Starscream's relationship is made more clear. It would be a nice plot point next time around to have Starscream turn on the Decepticons. Unfortunately, Bay makes some mistakes. He could have easily cut most of the random bullshit. Hopefully, they will learn from the fan outcries and improve upon that for the third installment. The second Sam and Mikaela are having a "moment" and a Fray song starts playing, I know that it's only gonna get worse from there. Those are the two biggest lowpoints of the movie. It may not sound like much, but it definitely effects the outcome. Bay says he doesn't read reviews, but I think he does. I don't think he wants a vacation because he's sick of Transformers, I think he wants a vacation because he's sick of people calling him a hack. I can't blame him. He tries, at least, and I truly believe he thought this was the best movie of the summer. Shave off some dog-on-dog action and other crap, and it could have been.
Overall, the movie is a fun time. That's all it has to be. But some aspects are a little too fun. Some characters, both robot and human, only brought annoyance. Some of the dialogue is so rediculous you might cover your ears...hell, it might not matter anyways if the noise has popped your ears by then. The movie offered everything I wanted in it. However, it also offered things that no one would want. Who wants to see John Turturro's ass cheeks? Or dogs humping eachother? Take off some of these aspects, and it might have not have been such a long movie. It's gonna make a shit load of money, and it's understandable. It could be a lot worse.
Agent Vis's Verdict:
5 stars-Masterful 4.5-Outstanding 4-Impressive *3.5-Passable* 3-Disappointing 2.5-Mediocre 2-Below Average 1.5-Bad 1-Awful .5-Garbage 0-Unwatchable
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Thanks guys