INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (2008)

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"Indiana Jones and the End of a Film Era. This movie should not be screened near an open flame, and you should avoid it for the sake of your immortal soul."

*Warning, this review contains some spoilers*

I want to interject a little sanity into these reviews. This movie was one of the worst I have gone to see in theaters in a very long time. Not only did it not live up to its predecessors, but it does not work as a stand-alone movie either. Indy's nemesis in this film was completely forgetable. I thought it would be neat to replace Nazis with Communists, but, in fact, the bad guys in this film were reduced to Boris-and-Natasha-like comic relief. I NEVER got the feeling that Indy was in any real danger, which makes any moviegoer ask "why the hell should I care about these guys?" What was up with the lighting in this film? It seems like the director's vision was "LIGHT!!! Give everything lots of LIGHT!!" What really annoyed me was that this movie left out any kind of plot development and replaced it with corny action sequences, and a lot of them. Indy is pushing 60 or so. This movie should have shown Indy in a new way, in light of his advanced age. It would have done better to rely less on action and more on emotional and story development. Marion Ravenwood should not have been included in this movie as heavily as she was. The sets looked as though they belonged in a 3rd rate tv movie. The story with the aliens could have been very cool, but it was not presented very well at all. The iconic theme music that was essential to all other Indy films was underused and barely present. All in all this movie was a disappointment and a disgrace.

Here are some of the scenes that really ruined the film for me: After the scene where Indy survives a nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge, I lost all of my optimism for the film. Not only would he have been melted alive, but the fall would have surely broken all the bones in his body if the magic fridge was somehow able to save him from the intense heat. Next, the scene where Mutt starts swinging from the tree with the monkeys... enough said. The scene where Marion and Indy get married at the end was the final nail in the coffin and made me want to hang myself, and I think I might.