"Unintentionally hilarious"
So, I don't have to tell you this was supposed to come out 2 years ago, as a theater release. Now, it's getting a straight to DVD release...what does that tell you? They decided on a straight to DVD release so it can't be that good. I thought this movie was funny, man. I mean, some scenes were just so dreadful, I just sat there, but there were times where I was laughing. It was just so stupid, and...fake. Seriously, this has one of the dumbest freaking endings ever. And they try to have the different stories make sense together, but they fail. For the ending, it's like they had nothing better to do for a "shocking ending" so they do...that. Oh God...so bad of an ending. I can't believe you people like this...thing.
So the story is 4ish "interlocking" stories of "horror". Wow...I almost made that sound good. I must stop. These stories are played out backward (kinda like Pulp Fiction) for no other reason than to try to make it interesting. But it's really just damn confusing, because I was trying to figure out why on earth they needed to be played out of order. I also think due to this, I was expecting more complex stories and just got jack shit.
The director is Michael Dougherty, who also wrote the film. His writing sucks ass. The dialogue is horrible in some parts, and there's many other flaws in the writing. However, his directing is decent. Some scenes are extremely cheesy, but others...well, they were a nice try. Even his writing. It wasn't a good try, but he did try, and I could see his goal. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work. Stuff needs to make sense. Maybe his future movies will be better.
The visuals. Ahh, the cheesy visuals. So fake, so stupid, so hilarious. That's all I have to say about that.
I wish I could list every stupid thing, I really do. But I hate putting the temptations of spoilers. So just know that the "shocker" of each story is laughable and not scary.
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