"Woody Allen dreams up another implausible excuse to extol his burning hatred upon the world. And wouldn’t you know it? Some of it's kinda funny."
This week sees two romantic comedies into the multiplex, and nether is able to support a plausible premise. The Proposal is all but ridiculous. An older woman with conjunctivitis of the soul cons a buff metro-sexual ten years her junior into a relationship sold on lies, and then manages to actually fall in love with the douche bag. Talk about mocking the audience. Whatever Works is no better. It upholds a similar premise. Only, in true Woody Allen fashion, the man is old and crusty, while his ladylove is young, dumb and full of witty asides that are a little too smart for her hillbilly upbringing. Neither of these films is believable on any level. But both hassle-up a strong, enthusiastic energy that is engaging. And both rely solely on the gifted comedic stylings of their cast members to sell home what could be dead dick.
Despite Whatever Works being semi-autobiographical and embedded deep in the psyche of its writer, Larry David is the first lead actor in a Woody Allen movie, in a very long time, who doesn't sound, move, or personify Woody in any way. This is due to Larry David being a pretty horrible actor. The man is only capable of playing himself, and while the scripted lines are abundant with witty Woodyisms, they are squeezed through the colander that is David's mouth. The end result is a hyper-realistic take on the trademark Larry David caricature that is trotted out unmercifully on the comedian's HBO sitcom. Because of this, his Boris Yellnikoff resides in a weird alternate universe that is equal parts Sleeper and Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Everything you need to know about Yellnikoff is stated in his last name. A curmudgeon, this slightly amplified take on David and Allen's combined neurosis manifests itself in the form of a suicidal physicist that grumbles about his New York loft in solitude. He constantly berates his small handful of friends while also offending the young children that come to him for chess lessons. He seems to hate stupidity, and holds the world in dire contempt. Though, when talking directly to us, the audience, he seems a bit more tolerable of our forth wall universe. The guy used to plod through a decent enough life. He had a good job and a fine wife. One day he decided to jump out the window and kill himself, but God wasn't going to let it be that easy. Now, he limps along on a cane. His hobby seems to be calling passer-bys "inch worms". And that's his worthless, little life in a nutshell.
Then fate comes calling upon him. Allen doesn't have time to construct the mandatory Ebert-coined "meet cute". Instead, he has his lead female character simply show up at Boris' doorstep. And the script takes off from there. Evan Rachel Wood is Melodie St. Ann Celestine (again, the name says it all), a young eighteen-year-old refugee from New Orleans. She is beautiful and thick (both in skin and in skull). An angel of sorts. The exact type of person Boris is supposed to hate. That doesn't stop him from letting this tiny wisp of sexuality into his home for an extended period. The lack of a sex scene or any moment of intimacy between them allows us to accept their almost father-daughter relationship. But then they fall and love and get married. It feels icky. The only thing that saves this February-December of next year romance is the truly engaging interaction between Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood. They are oddly captivating, and because we never see them make-out, we are okay with their shut-in parable.
Most of the movie consists of Woody running his abhorrent monologues through David's mouth. Eventually Melodie's parents come looking for her, and they, too, are sent off on a weird fateful path that holds very little credibility in the real word. Patricia Clarkson is Marietta Celestine, a wholesome Christian lady of the south who is immediately seduced by the city. Within a week of staying with Boris and Melodie, she has become an artist with two consensual boyfriends. Because of this, Melodie's dad John, played by Ed Begley Jr., becomes involved with a homosexual man he meets in a bar.
Things eventually do come to a head when Marietta convinces a young up and coming actor named Randy to pursue her daughter. Randy eventual wins Melodie's heart, and she breaks her wedding vows by sleeping with the hunky Englishman on a boat. The girl has grown up fast, and she decides to be honest with Boris. Of course their marriage wasn't going to work out. Allen allows us to watch Melodie go through a certain intellectual metamorphous, and it ends with her beings smart enough to know she doesn't belong with some angry old man who's sexual drive may or may not be engaged. The rest of the film continues to play with our ideas of fate and destiny, allowing Boris to explore this quaint idea, testing it to its lengths. Of course, I won't ruin what little fun there is to be had.
Some of the material is laugh out loud funny. Whatever Works kind of works. Sort of. I guess. Fans of Woody Allen will be able to tolerate it, but will continue to yearn for his earlier work. Fans of Curb Your Enthusiasm will enjoy watching Larry David grow increasingly angrier at his surroundings. Just like The Proposal, Whatever Works gets a ho-hum "Whoop-doo!" Just know, there are far better movies out there to spend your money on.
(All of B. Alan Orange's reviews are based on the Boo! or Whoop-doo! evaluation system.)
Movie News
1 Comments
1 Comments