Channing Tatum: Review By Travis Speegle

If crap had good abs and modeled then behold
  • OVERALL
    0.5
    HORRIBLE
Quite possibly the most untalented "actor" working today, which is especially insulting in the midst of a deep recession.

He has the range of John McCain's arm width, at least the Senator has the excuse of having been tortured, while it is Tatum who in turn tortures audiences.

He has singlehandedly taken crappy scripts with music video production values and made them absolutely unwatchable.

He can't even claim the status of eye candy, the Special Olympics would be insulted by his spokesmanship, I can picture a darling sweet row of down syndrome athletes refusing to hug him lest they be associated with him and their intelligence insulted.

I keep waiting for Cinderella's carriage to return to a pumpkin for this desecration of the arts marketed as an actor, but my word he must have so many incriminating naked pictures of studio executives that he'll be working until either they or he drop dead, it's a staring contest to see who blinks first and only the grave can end it.

Channing from the bottom of my heart, do not procreate, you owe us that much if you aren't decent enough to return ticket prices.

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