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Now, I recently got my hands on the Masters of Horror: Season One Box Set, in the Mausoleum Pack, no less. Now that by itself is exciting news, but what's even better is that the stuff that's in it is pure-T gold.

Okay, granted...some of it is better than others. But still, let's face facts--by and large this was the top season of Masters of Horror. Which wasn't hard considering what a total shit heap the second (and last) season was.

Just to give you some rundown, the Masters of Horror series was an absolutely brilliant idea that just couldn't last. You take the greatest names in horror--Takashi Miike, John Carpenter, Joe Dante, among others--and you let them make an hour-long movie on Showtime without any kind of cowardice-driven content restriction. You know, like the kind you get on network television. And like the kind poor Mick Garris, the show's creator, is going to face with his next project, Fear Itself.

I liked most of the Masters of Horror first season, but there are some that less than entertaining, so let me give you the rundown on the three least ones, so you'll know what to start with and what to consider watching later on. Even the worst Masters of Horror title is still better than a lot of what you'll find on the shelves, so you won't be getting short-changed even with the bad ones.

Deer Woman--This one was a kind of metaphysical Indian-legend stuff, the kind of thing we were getting away from back in the eighties. The fact that John Landis did it makes it feel even worse to not enjoy it.

Jenifer--It's hard to hate Dario Argento, but this kind of half-assed pseudo-horror rom-com is not worth of him. Seriously, it's not. Not even vaguely.

Chocolate--It's especially kind of a low blow, because this was Mick Garris' title and he was responsible for the whole concept, but this tale of do-you-taste-what-I-taste never really got off the ground with me.

Meanwhile, the rest are good in various levels, from the zombies with a political agenda of Homecoming all the way to Takashi Miike's Imprint, the movie that was, somehow, too freaky to be shown on Showtime. Now that alone is the case for this monster box set--how do you get banned from Showtime? I hadn't thought that was possible!

But this is it, folks...the top of the hill, the better half. It's all downhill from here, and it's called season two. That one was not nearly as good as season one, frankly, and if that was the way it was going, a season three would have sucked sour frog ass.

If you want the choicest in horror, kids, you're definitely going to want to get Masters of Horror: Season One, and if you can get the box set, get it. They'll even include a bonus disc in the pack stuffed with featurettes, trailers, commentaries, and DVD-ROM specific features like screenplays and screen savers.

I should have made it clear by now, but just in case--season one of Masters of Horror is strictly top of the line, and missing out on this is missing out on one of the high-water marks for the entire genre.