Dear Marketing Person or People at Lionsgate,

I know someone in marketing thinks they're clever. On paper, using a song entitled Bodies (know for it's Neanderthal-like chorus "let the bodies hit the floor!") for a new, ultra-violent, action movie sounds like an awesome move. The irony is almost too prevalent to be associated with a conscious marketing choice, rather than a random selection on some intern's iPod. But for the sake of argument, let's just say it was a conscious marketing move.

Okay. It's clever.

On paper.

If you have no musical knowledge, no sense of our culture's climate, no idea what's popular, or no taste.

Or, you just plain suck.

In the new, 3rd trailer for the upcoming sequel Rambo, the use of the Drowning Pool song, " Bodies" is so scathing, so misplaced, so unoriginal, and so dated, that it actually makes me not want to see the film, which up until now, I've been excited for. Now I know that the song probably won't be played at all during the film, and it may seem a bit brash to decide whether or not I see a film, based on one commercial. My answer to that is with a few questions-

Are you not confident in your film?

Do you know whom you're selling this film to?

Do you even know how to sell your film?

Drowning Pool plays a genre of music, known as "nu metal", a genre that has seen its day come and gone in the minds and wallets of the buying public. It's also a genre that is generally used as the punchline in jokes about bad music:

Steve: "Hey Bob, did you hear Kevin's new band?"

Bob: "Yeah, Bob. It was bad. It sounded like the Muppets doing a nu metal version of Mambo No. 5."

Both: "Wocka, wocka!"

As for the song itself, it was previously used in the Jason X trailer (HUGE success!), in Jet Li's film The One (made SOOO much money, bro!), and in xXx (Jesus fucking Christ). And let's not forget that the WWE uses it all the time (...).

The use of this song lets a buying public know that you've given up thinking your movie can appeal to mature adults (you know, the ones with money), and are instead opting out for the lowest common denominator.

Clever Marketing Person #1: "Well, this is an action movie, that has some themes that tie into current events in Burma right now."

Clever Marketing Person #2: "Yeah, well, we've already done a bit of gritty, mature marketing. Should we keep it up until the movie releases?"

Clever Marketing Person #1: "Naw, fuck it. That's too risky. Let's try to make this movie seem like it's for everyone. Hip adults. Hip teens."

Clever Marketing Person #2: "Drowning Pool?"

Clever Marketing Person #1: "Drowning Pool."

Clever Marketing Person #2: "Big opening weekend, here we come! Jager bombs on me!"

Look, I know Rambo, isn't going to redefine film as an art form. It's going to be Rambo, running around killing the fuck out of people. But in every Rambo, film there's always a political undercurrent that's so true to the time the film is made, and at least this should elevate the film a little above some shitty nu metal song from 6 years ago. Hell, even if the trailer would have had "America, fuck Yeah!" playing instead, I would have still felt like you were telling me I was going to see something more mature than "bodies hitting the floor."

But no, Clever Marketing Person, what you're telling me is that you would like to instead skip over an audience member like myself, who's in your key demographic, and has a bit of disposal income to throw at films, in order to appeal to 15 year old wrestling fan who, even if he could afford to pay for a movie ticket, can't even get into the movie by himself?!?!?

Again, you would skip over this (me):


(Check out that gold, son! I been collectin' my paperz!)

For THIS!?!?!?!


(identities hidden to protect the douchey)
In closing, fuck you.

Gil Brooks

Rambo was released January 25th, 2008 and stars Sylvester Stallone, Julie Benz, Matthew Marsden, Graham McTavish, Reynaldo Gallegos, Jake La Botz, Tim Kang, Maung Maung Khin. The film is directed by Sylvester Stallone.