BOOS! and WHOOP-DOOS!: The Power of F*@# in a PG-13 World

Fuck? Whoop-doo!

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The fabulous "fuck" word. A pair of glistening titties. A subplot about spoiled underpants. Gratuitous underage alcohol consumption. Granny bashing. And a horny Asian co-op student that rubs his dick on a seven-foot tall beast of a woman. All in a PG rated movie. What? How did this happen? The year was 1984, and John Hughes got away with murder. His film Sixteen Candles came just before Mola Ram graciously ripped the heart out of an extra on the set of Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom. Moments before Steven Spielberg preformed this one malicious act on the filmgoing youth of America, our PG rated films used to be a lot meaner. Sexier. Funnier. Right on the edge of being R rated. Now, most PG-13 films won't touch the material found in those early PG rated affairs. You need look no further than the original The Bad News Bears starring Walter Matthew and Tatum O'Neal for evidence. The PG-13 remake starring Billy Bob Thornton came on like a whitewashed version that would have been slapped with an X had it extorted towards the tendencies of its once great forbearer of family cinema.

Back in 1976, you could show tweens (a word that didn't exist then) guzzling beer on a baseball diamond. You could have them swearing and acting like middle-aged ex-sailors. They didn't have to redeem themselves in an act of kindness, either. They could end their note as ugly and as awesome as when they first stepped into the light. Not now. Not today. We've reverted backwards as far as thematic content goes. And ever since the 1990s, most raunchy teen genre filmmakers have looked at their PG-13 rating as a stumbling speed bump that fails them up until that unrated DVD release. The last time someone really grabbed ahold of that PG-13 rating and tried to use it to their advantage was, again, John Hughes, who almost got away with 18 "fucking"s in one sixty second scene. Steve Martin's rant is one of many memorable moments in Planes, Trains & Automobiles. And quite harmless fun. But the MPAA couldn't be convinced, and thus slapped what is one of the all-time greatest holiday family films with an undeserved R rating. All because of one little word. If Gremlins hadn't come along and wrecked the ratings board, Steve Martin and John Candy's hellish road trip would've been given a PG rating. In a world where fucked-up dudes open fire in a strip mall fitness center, it seems paltry to stamp certain films unwatchable by a younger public just because of one tiny, insignificant word.

Fuck. What does it really mean? And where does the word come from? My friend Ian Kennedy helped answer this question by co-producing the hilarious documentary F*ck a few years back. Maybe you don't have the time to sit down and watch it right this very second. So a brief history lesson is in order (then you can throw it in your Netflix que). The word fuck is not an acronym for Fornication Under Consent of the King. That is just an Urban Legend not featured in Joshua Jackson's best movie to date. Fuck's history is shadowed in accuracy. No one is clear on how it became such an ominous fixture on the tongue of the depraved. It seemed to develop into an offensive slang term throughout the years, and is now wildly recognized as the most notoriously inappropriate utterance one can make in social circles, even beating out "cunt" with its sheer ugliness. Maybe it's the way it thuds out of the mouth like a free-swinging hammer to the cerebellum. It has a delicious, nasty nectar that never grows tiresome, and it can mean many things. Its etymology is uncertain, but it is most likely a Germanic word derived from the act of striking, rubbing, and well, having sex (i.e. fucking). Its first appearance in literature came in a poem written in the year 1500, so it's been alive and well in the mouths of beggars since before you, the MPAA, or the FCC ever came along. Ruining and uplifting its usage. The first movie to ever utilize the obscenity was Robert Altman's MASH. It has since gone on to dominate the dialogue of many R rated films, and, as I told you earlier, some PG rated ones as well. This was all before Jack Valenti, with Steven Spielberg's help, introduced the PG-13 rating. After July 1st, 1984, the word fuck would never again be uttered in anything harboring a PG stamp of approval. Or so you might think.

Between 1984 and 1990 (when the MPAA really clamped down) four PG rated films managed to ease the word "fuck" into their on-screen vocabulary. These films include Big, Spaceballs, Beetlejuice, and Eight Men Out. At the time, directors still wanted to be edgy and of the moment. Yet they didn't want to lose those coveted family ticket sales. Throughout the 1990s, the MPAA started to change its mind about certain objectionable content. It really changed its stance on what could and couldn't be shown in the context of a PG or PG-13 rated film. And the film-rating world has gotten smaller. Here we stand today, with a PG-13 that isn't as explicit as the PG rating of the 70s and 80s. Fuck is no longer allowed in a so-called family film. And the teens with their PG-13 only get one use of the word. Which is ridiculous.

Only a single rating stands between one fuck and the one hundred and eight-six used by the gang in Superbad (at 118 minutes, that 1.6 fucks said every single minute the film is on scream). Because of this, most directors saddled with a PG-13 film don't really take the opportunity to use their one allotted fuck to its best advantage. Take director David R. Ellis and his Snakes on a Plane. He was going to abandoned his fuck altogether, until New Line decided to give him a little extra money and an R rating. There are stipulations that come with a PG-13 fuck. It can't be used with any sexual undertones. Thus, any variation of Mother Fucker is out of the question. And that's Samuel L. Jackson's signature line. He wasn't going to settle for a "Get these fucking snakes off this plane." He wanted the whole banana boat. This viewpoint is held by most. Why bother with one fuck? It's a hassle. And doesn't change the course of any given movie. Sure, Superbad wouldn't be Superbad without its dumpster full of profane moments. But you could wring the genuine heart it contains through a PG-13 filter and still find the same story in tact. Almost.

This summer marks a weird trend in that directors are actually dusting off their one fuck and using it as an artistic moment of brevity. They are showcasing their coveted one-fuck moment and using it to create scenes of importance as held within the framework of their story. Its as though someone suddenly noticed a lack of useful fuck implementation, and sent out a challenge to see who could give their fuck the biggest spotlight. In turn, it's almost made the word naughty again. Imagine having one bullet to kill your foe, as opposed to having the amount of ammo Sylvester Stallone uses up in the last real of Rambo VI. You can't just fire it off aimlessly, in a shower spark of action and nonsense. The director has to take it, and love it, and utilize it as a gift bestowed upon him/or herself. There are four recent PG-13 rated films this summer that have tried to use their fuck as a symbol of creative storytelling. They've tried to utilize the word in the best way they know how. And make it matter again. Not shockingly, it has had varying degrees of effect.

The first film is Julie & Julia. Director Nora Ephron gave actor Chris Messina "the one fuck" to catch, and keep, and kick over that goal post. As Eric Powell, Chris plays the neglected and put-upon husband of Julie Powell, the real-life woman who blogged her adventures in cooking Julia Child's famous recipes, thus became a celebrity herself. Messina does a nice job of handling his fuck, delivering it at an important moment, just as he is about to break up with his wife. The sentence "Fuck Julia Child!" Comes as a shock to the audience. Because the film has played it pretty safe up until this point. The word actually conveys Eric Powell's true emotions quite well. Ephron could have gone the gratuitous route by having Meryl Streep, as Child, say the word. Always a smart director, Ephron knew she'd get the most mileage out of her one vulgarity by using it to fluff a domestic argument that needed more weight. The word sticks out, making us realize how much this guy loves his wife. That in their history together, he's never spoken to her in this manner. The weird thing about Julie & Julia is that its an adult film. It doesn't need to be rated PG-13. No kid wants to watch this thing. So why burden yourself with catering to them? Powell's book, upon which the movie is based, is not raunchy, but it does have fun with the English language. The real Julie Powell was a little upset that her on-screen doppelganger, as played by Amy Adams, resorts to saying "The F word". No one in the heat of the moment would say, "The F word!" They would say, "Fuck!" Still, if more fucks were permitted in this drama, they would zap the one on-screen fuck of its impact, and we wouldn't have been as emotionally charged by the Powells' futile domestic squabble. Plus, "the one fuck" allows us to truly empathize with Messina's real life character.

The second film is I Love You, Beth Cooper, one of the biggest bombs of the summer. When Larry Doyle wrote this book, he intended it to be a send-up of every teen film known to mankind. And it is a very R rated endeavor. His screenplay, however, reverts back to the more challenging nature of an edgy PG-13 rated teen outing. Whole scenes have been molested, and the entire third act is missing. There's a moment in the film where the underage Hayden Panettiere is confronted by an Inglourious Basterd for her ID when trying to buy beer. In the book, she grabbed the cashier's dick and gave it a nice little tug. In the film, she kisses Sam Levine on the mouth (off screen, of course). Yet, when she walks outside, you can clearly read her lips. They say, "I kissed him on the cock." But the ADR relates back something a little more family friendly. So, basically, the theatrical release becomes nothing more than an advertisement for the upcoming unrated DVD. Which I am more than positive will be pockmarked with a bucket full of fucks. Director Chris Columbus still holds some belief in the theatrical release, though. He is, after all, one of the men responsible for the PG-13 rating, as his script for Gremlins was the catalyst of the movement. He takes his fuck and gently caresses it into the mouth of closeted teen Rich Munsch (as played by Jack Carpenter). Both in the book and on-screen, Munsch has the annoying character trait of spewing memorable movie lines followed by the year the film was made and the director that bore it into existence. Every time he goes for one of these cliches, it becomes harder and harder to like the character. Jack Carpenter goes a long way in rectifying that on-screen. Before Denis Coverman (Paul Rust, also an Inglourious Basterd), the kid that declared his love for Beth Cooper in his commencement speech, and Rich are left to their own devices at a home thrown after-graduation party where they are the only two attendees, Denis' dad (Ferris Bueller's Alan Ruck) arrives to offer a bottle of champagne and a little advice. He quotes his own refried movie line in hopes of inspiring his son and his son's friend in life after high school. In doing so, he says the word "f'ing." Rich leans over, and in a whisper, as if he is saying something incredibly obscene, coos, "Fucking. Not f'ing." And though the rest of the movie never skirts that line again, the build up and delivery of the word "fucking" almost makes us believe we are entering uncharted waters. That we are about to see something edgy and fun. That this quaint high school flick isn't going to puss out or tiptoe around the bigger issues of the day. It is a masterfully delivered fuck. Yet, it comes as false advertising. And the one scene, itself, is essentially setting up the more gratuitous unrated Blu-ray that will be on shelves soon enough.

The third film is Michael Bay's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. This thing was gargantuan in both its sheer size and box office gross. Bay threw in everything including a kitchen sink that transformers into a laser-blasting prick of a robot. He left no stone unturned, and pushed the very boundaries of that PG-13 rating to its breaking point. Instead of blood, he spilled oil. He threw Lycra on his uber-sexy female co-stars so that they only seemed to be wearing something. He gave us jive-talking jigaboo Junkers that played as ignorant, racial stereotypes. Each bomb was precisely placed, giving us explosions as big as an IMAX screen. And he took extreme care with his one and only "f bomb", as it were, shoving it in one of the quieter, more resourceful moments, where he knew it wouldn't get lost amongst the nearly non-stop mayhem that plays out for over two hours on screen. Sure, he could have given his fuck to one of his human co-stars as they jumped like a gazelle out of the way of deadly, flying debris. Locked in there, it would have gone unnoticed and unappreciated. That's why Bay, instead, carefully placed it on the metallic tongue of the robot Wheelie. This is a movie based on Hasbro toys, and to have a kid's action figure spewing the black tar of profanity that comes laced with "the one fuck" can, and is, quite shocking to parents that expect nothing more than Saturday morning cartoon violence. In the theater, there was an audible groan upon hearing this verb tumble out of a robot's mouth. It was as if some sort of power had been brought back to the waning swear word. Though fuck has been used beyond cliché, Michael Bay was once again able to give this often-used bolt of lighting a surge of distress. Just put the word fuck in the mouth of your cartoon comic relief, and you will have outrage. If even for a fleeting moment. Michael Bay's fuck was masterfully handled, and did what it was intended to do, however cheap and scandalous it might appear to be.

Hands down, the best use of "the one fuck" came courtesy of our fourth film, Brad Silbering's Land of the Lost. It, too, is based on a Saturday morning cartoon. But in the hands of Will Farrell and Danny McBride, this Sid & Marty Krofft classic, which always edged towards being an adult endeavor anyway, goes full bore with its unsubtle commentary, turning the dinosaur adventure into an "almost" R rated romp. Their trippy version of the old 70s show is one of the weirdest mainstream films to come along in quite some time. And Farrell quite literally shocked audiences of all ages when he got right down in Chaka's face and said very boldly, "Fuck you!" As unexpected as it was, it got the biggest laugh in the film. And showed that these guys weren't messing around. They didn't fail to disappoint. Unlike I Love You, Beth Cooper, Farrell and company took it as far as it could go, with reason and purpose, and returned with what will be remembered as a dorm room classic in the next couple of years. Sure, it, too, could be looked at as a bomb, but box office isn't everything. Land of the Lost is a very funny movie. And it is loaded with great lines. This is one of those massage therapy films that needs to be slowly rubbed into the shoulders of our cinematic youth. Giving Will "the one fuck" worked wonders in giving the film that specific "edge" most films desperately need in this day and age, and I doubt this is the last we'll hear about Land of the Lost.

"The One Fuck!" It is just four letters long, but it can do so much for a failing comedy, or a drama, or even a huge sci-fi guilloche. I'm glad that directors are suddenly starting to use their allotted fuck more wisely. It's like having one drop of bright red paint on a gray and black canvas. Where you decide to place it means everything. To summer 2009's PG-13 use of "the one fuck", I say Whoop-doo! I just hope more directors learn how to use theirs more carefully, and purposefully, in the future.

Gremlins was released June 8th, 1984 and stars Hoyt Axton, John Louie, Keye Luke, Don Steele, Susan Burgess, Scott Brady, Arnie Moore, Corey Feldman. The film is directed by Joe Dante.

Sources: B. Alan Orange

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-comrade-
His argumentation attitude is quite similar to this actually:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBHOL1PcPR8
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
-comrade-
Also, What would you call bitching about losing this argument to every new MW friend you make except rallying people to your side you f*cking hypocrite?
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
-comrade-
...then Vanboy's wife yelled at him for being so "silly", and that he ought to be ashamed of himself because really, he's someone's father.

I'd like to point out that at some point or another, in fact, even just recently, Vanboy has been using all of these tactics:

http://www.cracked.com/funny-3809-internet-argument-techniques/

which makes him an utter failure.

Here are some examples,

1. "Oh, and by the way, I deliberately put a few words in the wrong syntax to test you. Funny you didn't pick them up. Fail! I guess you're not so smart, boy. Hooo-Rah!"

10. "Nope, I was at the head of my English class. Sometimes I like to reach deep into my lexicon every now and then. I don't have time to chat long. Busy working on the house."

The whole sideways argument was just a variation on #11. Clearly if I don't agree with Vagboy, I "don'y get it."
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Err
nah, forget about it, i'm way too apathetic to get sucked in to anything that isn't a mouth.
2 years agoby @err2005 Flag
Vanboy
LOL Comrade! You're funny! No Err, Nooooooooooooooooo!
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
Don't do it Err, this is our burden. DON'T GET SUCKED IN!
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Err
oh man this argument just goes on and on and on, i'm not reading all that.
i have cigarettes to smoke, damn it!
2 years agoby @err2005 Flag
-comrade-
Yah.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
Nah.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9IrDH74CTM
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
Oh, and by the way, I deliberately put a few words in the wrong syntax to test you. Funny you didn't pick them up. Fail! I guess you're not so smart, boy. Hooo-Rah!
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
Vanboy
Nope, I was at the head of my English class. Sometimes I like to reach deep into my lexicon every now and then. I don't have time to chat long. Busy working on the house.

And no, my wife is a physical therapy major.

Have a good one!
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
Nice word usage. Your wife an English major? Because there's no way you would use that language unless someone was feeding it to you.

Why do you even feel the need to "hold your own" against "a pretentious kid"? You obviously consider yourself in higher standing, why are you still stooping to "my level"?

"The fact that you couldn't resist to jab, proves that I AM ultimately a better person than you."
And yet whenever I use your language to prove the inherency of your character, I'm just grasping? F*ck you buddy. You just contradicted yourself in all kinds of ways.

Thank you, oh great wise Mid-life crisis man, for teaching an insolent whelp like me a lesson, and completely and accurately depicting me while not being insulting...

Oh wait, you're just using crass imagery to make yourself feel better.

And now, because I am bored of engaging with you on a logical level, I'm probably going to degenerate into personal insults, seeing as that's what you seem to want from me.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
You were doing good at first, but then you just had to jab, right?

I presented a non-insulting comment, to see if you would still attack and you did, by slamming my age and the fact that I'm a parent, and alluding that I should be ashamed for holding my own against a pretentious kid, who excels in bestowing defamatory and malicious judgments with extreme irreverence.

The fact that you couldn't resist to jab, proves that I AM ultimately a better person than you.

"You still don't know as much as you think you do, and that's the issue. Your position doesn't solve. Mine does. I'm not saying I'm better than you. But, on a point by point basis, I've been right in this haphazard dispute on more quantity points."
You see, you take the opportunity to blatantly disrespect me, as you step back to claim injury for the precision and power of my self defense. This example plainly and honestly shows, the vast maturity I have over you. And YOU do not admit to your not knowing everything. I obviously have, as evidenced by your bring it up. Do you beat dead horses often?! You need to go to Dennys and order yourself an extra helping of humble pie.

You make all of these claims, about how I act like I'm superior to you, but your last comments just prove that YOU are actually the one who has that mindset. Not ONCE have you ever shown yourself to be one bit humble. You are completely egotistical and are addicted to the euphoria that you have created, from the self-complimentary stance that you have taken throughout your accusations.

You probably fart, feel fear that a part of your superiority is slipping away, then smell it up before it dissipates, making yourself ejaculate in the process from the intoxication of the wafting odor, and become overjoyed with overzealousness in the knowledge, that that part of you has re-entered your body, thus in effect effervescently restoring it to your make-up, reaffirming your lofty, supreme existence within your own mind.

Oh, how we all gaze upon your greatness Comrade. Let us breath-in your presence, as to further behold your glory, magnitude of your magnificence and magnanimousness, to give our lowly peasant lives that much needed meaning and purpose, to which all destitute ultimately beseech.

The delusions of your written "verbal" forays, indicates a steel trap of grandiose, self-subservient thoughts and endearments.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
Wow. That comment wasn't absolutely replete with condescension. Good job.

You still don't know as much as you think you do, and that's the issue. Your position doesn't solve. Mine does.

I'm not saying I'm better than you. But, on a point by point basis, I've been right in this haphazard dispute on more quantity points. Quality is relative.

I never said Palestine wasn't guilty of violence. Only that the occupation is unjust, and the manner in which we support Israel is unsavory.

Thank you for thinking worldly for once too. It is a sad state of affairs.

Especially when a middle-aged father of two can't let go of a forum argument with a "young kid".
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
I've got more figured out, because I've lived longer and have "been there and done that". You're still a young kid, who thinks he knows it all. I was like that when I was your age, then I realized that I didn't know as much as I thought I did.

And you're right, debating at this point IS just plain silly, because we are both resolute and unyielding in our positions.
And I never said that Israel was in the right. They are extreme militants. I think, that that's why we keep them at arms length, but "on our side", if you will. But Palestine isn't exactly an army of angels either. They are both to warring and who rightfully owns what land, what we are to debating and who wronged whom worse.

If WE can't pull our intelligence enough to find common ground, how can we expect them to?

Sad state of affairs, huh?
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
Do you know anything about the Occupation? It's bad for both sides, but Israel is clearly in the wrong. Even if they weren't their methods are among the most barbaric since Hitler.

Look, at this point debating with you is folly because you've already assumed correctness. And why shouldn't you, middle-aged white men have it all figured out, right?
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
"The Unjust Occupation of Palestine by Israeli Extremists?"
That's a bias news organization. Do you think that they give news that's not aimed to support their views?

And I don't want you to die. It's just a phrase designed to elicit a response. And I guess it worked.

Obama has to sacrifice for his cause.

And Christians have tempers too.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
You hate Muslims too... AND you think Obama's one of them. Last time I checked he drinks beer.

You really don't understand half the sh*t you say, but you still believe it.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
-comrade-
See, the fact that you think Al Jazeera is terrorist news tells me everything I need to know. Ever heard of AIPAC? How about The Unjust Occupation of Palestine by Israeli Extremists?

I never said I was better. I'm not elevating myself idiot. I'm bringing YOU down from YOUR tower.

You want me to die? Wow, you're a GREAT Christian.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
I meant glass tower, exactly like I typed it.

Yep, Al Jazeera IS news for terrorists. That explains a lot about you. You are a sympathizer and you really hate Americans. I guess that's why you rely on it. What do you plan on blowing up? Have you grown your beard yet? I bet you can't wait to de-flower your seventy virgins. That's why you defend Obama so much, because he's really a Muslim just like you.

"Scaredy cat"? Such a child!

I can't believe I'm actually in contact with the guy who sh**s gold bricks! You're just as bad for continuing, so don't try to elevate YOURSELF by pretentiously saying that I'm looking down on you. That's your passive aggressive bitch tactics as usual, and they're getting old.

E.S.A.D. Comrade. Seriously.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
You mean those in glass HOUSES shouldn't throw stones? That incredibly common adage that you so gracefully f*cked up?

Clean as a whistle. I'm sure that surprises you. Nice try though.

You're really not bothering me that much. It amuses me to no end that a 30+ year old spends his time like this.

I didn't say I was in a higher position than you. I just pulled you down to where you actually are, and not where you presume to be.

You won't watch it? Scaredy cat.

History shows little except the fact that people as a whole consistently make the same mistakes.

Al Jazeera, actually. Of course, you probably consider that "Terrorist News". Enjoy your Fox and MSNBC processed crap.

That's good, because you obviously love yourself. A lot.

For someone who touts a sturdy belief in god, you're not being very Christian. And yes, you mentioned that you were a Christian, I'm not making assumptions.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
I meant exactly what I typed. Glass tower. Figure it out. Oh yeah, I forgot. Sorry, you're only a kid. Well, at least you're using metaphor in the correct context. I guess my lesson, on the difference between metaphors and analogies paid off for you. Good boy!

Keep insulting my fatherhood, because that's all you got Jack. You keep returning to the same insult. You can't attack my criminal activities, because I have none. How's your record amigo?

And I keep coming back because at this point, you're just for laughs. And why DO you come back here?... Because you're an IMP. I can't reach you, so I might as well drive your crazy with my laser pointer.

"Homeless man comment: There you go again, insinuating that you're better than me. You don't even know who I am. Note that I've never put myself in a seat of superior standing to you." -Hey, you insult me by saying, "I pity them", so I threw it right back in your face. If you can't take it, don't give it. You're just pissed because I got you good with that one. I wish I could have seen your face. Oh man, I bet that that was a real "Kodak moment".

And no, I'm not going to check out your little link to a video that you deem relevant. I wouldn't want to taint my mind with your twisted outlook on life.

And I don't think I have anything to prove. I know I do, and I have. You just can't deal with the facts that I've laid out for you. You probably don't watch too much CNN. It must really frustrate you, when you see stories that only prove me right.

Every day, there's something. It's so easy, that I don't have to do anything. History will show things how they really are.

You love "watching" me squirm. Yeah, uh huh. Think about how stupid that sounds. I think you meant that, you love to "see" me squirm. There's a difference imp.

"Sorry, a dumb coon like me should probably make more mistakes than my superior white master, right?"- Again, totally your words. You must really hate you, for being you or something, because you keep insulting yourself like that. Do you resent your life? I mean, I'm just asking, because I'm noticing a pattern here. You have to love yourself. God created us this way and we have to accept ourselves.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
I love that you laugh at me misspelling one word when you've misspelled dozens. Sorry, a dumb coon like me should probably make more mistakes than my superior white master, right?

In case you haven't picked up on this yet, I don't care if or even think that you're a racist. I just love watching you squirm. BTW, I found a really good clip, you should identify with the big gray thing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9IrDH74CTM

Every time you type "haha" I just know that you sound like that lump of fun.

Homeless man comment: There you go again, insinuating that you're better than me. You don't even know who I am. Note that I've never put myself in a seat of superior standing to you.

...I think you mean Ivory Tower. Of course, you haven't ever been that clear on the application of metaphors.

The fact that you keep coming back continually proves that you aren't better than this. You couldn't even stay away when you said you would. Talk all you want, but the fact that you keep coming back shows that you think you have something to prove.

Why do I keep coming back? Because I know you'll keep doing the same. And it's hilarious (though also kind of distressing, since you're responsible for the upbringing of other human beings).
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
There's no assumed seat of power in my house. It's "your assumption" that that's what I'm doing, but as usual you're totally wrong!

I've "clarified or defined" plenty, but you're not listening. I can't get through the concrete which is the composition of your skull.

I am issuing insults, only in response to yours. And I'm doing so in the correct "context" as well, as syntax.

.....because "your" someone's father......
LOL! What a dumbass. Ha, Ha!

By the way, it's "douche bag", not "douchebag".

Getting pity from you is like a homeless man looking down on somebody who lives in a double wide. Not that you'll figure out what that means, but I'm giving you a benefit of a doubt.

Obnoxious ass!
As I stated, this insult is a response to your "Arrogant f*ck" comment.

Can you hear me up there in your glass tower?

You see, I am better than this.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
It's because your someone's father, and you should be better than this. I pity them.

Saying "Truth is truth," is a logical fallacy. "Evil is evil." "Douchebags are douchebags." You haven't clarified or defined anything.

You're not talking reasonably. You're just issuing insults in (sometimes) correct syntax, and you're doing it from an assumed seat of power.

Arrogant f*ck.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
"If it were so pathetic and weak you wouldn't take the time to confront it." Bullsh*t! The last time you said "rape" about my daughters, I let it go and didn't say anything. Your continued mentions of them now require confrontational address. Don't try to weasel out of that "FACT" with your flawed logic, douche bag.

"Dickless"? Sorry, I have two kids, you don't. So you would be all the more dickless than me, just by that fact alone.

Truth is truth.

My malfunction is that I fool heartedly (but hopefully) continue to talk reasonably and optimistically, but alas futilely, with an irrational, moronic imp, with the idea that he will concede, although it is proof positive that he has most assuredly escaped from the south wing of an insane asylum.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
You've been doing the same thing f*cker.

No one is watching this argument dickless, get over it.

If it were so pathetic and weak you wouldn't take the time to confront it.

You stand for misplaced self-righteousness and big-headed stubbornness. Truth is relative. Fact is constant. Fact is, you're an arrogant prick who thinks he's better than people because they disagree with him. I've never said I'm better than you, but you keep trying to put me down on a lower level for some reason. What is your malfunction?

Quit fooling yourself. because you're not fooling anyone else.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag
Vanboy
"How many times a week do you beat your wife?" There you go again, bringing up out of this world accusations, that are ludicrous, and unwarranted. Just because you make things up out of your twisted little brain, insulting the white man, doesn't make it so. Are you taking cues from Chris Brown Comrade? I don't know if you are aware, but he's black. And I already told you about Rodney King's wife beating. You might as well say, that there are more white people in prison. "Where do you get your delusions, Lazerbrain?"

"They" are the movieweb users. And they are wise to you, because you're a fraud!

And there you go bringing up my kids again. They have nothing to do with you and me, so don't bring them up again. Is your position so pathetic and weak, that you have to take human shields to defend yourself? Don't stereotype yourself, it's embarrassing. And you've done it so many times. Obviously you have nothing else on the white man, so you need those shields. Such a little bitch coward!

He stood for truth, and you can't stand that I do to. It pisses you off, that I speak so many truths about activities of criminals, that you cannot deny such an apparent legacy! You're fuming so much, that you cannot stand yourself. No matter what fictional nonsense you spew out, everyone in the world knows your track record, so buck up, accept it and shut up, because (sorry) you have no defense of the truth.
2 years agoby @vanboy Flag
-comrade-
Yes, you're a better human being because you feel bad that a terrible thing happened and the victim happens to be black. I applaud and canonize you.

And there you go again, making unfounded presumptions. Condescending ass. How many times a week do you beat your wife?

"Everybody is wise to your game Comrade. They see who you really are."
Do you think we're in open court or something? Who are "they"?

IT'S A F*CKING MOVIE WEBSITE! I'm happy you can take yourself so seriously... because no one else can! If your kids believe the sh*t that comes out of your mouth it's because they're ignorant, and if they ever learn some sense you're f*cked.

As for comparing yourself to Ed Murrow, how dare you insult the memory of that man.
2 years agoby @taberjohnson18 Flag