Welcome to your weekly movie horoscope with Madame Millie Kilakilarney. She will point you in the direction of the films you need to watch this week according to the astrological charts she keeps on her bedroom wall. If it's in the stars or on the silver screen, she knows about it!
Aries (March 21st-April 19th): Brace yourself! This week is going to be ultra boring. Any lack of excitement may cause you to seek out unacceptable pleasures you wouldn't normally be inclined to participate in. Be cautious. You could find yourself in way over your head, and you don't want to have to explain your poor decisions in the morning. Your film of the week:
Night Shift Taurus (April 20th-May 20th): You may find yourself at war with a coworker this week. Job opportunities will open up, and you will see a road towards advancements in your career. But be weary, others harbor your same life goals and they may get in the way. Don't let the best man win. Let yourself win. You deserve it. Your film of the week:
Promotion 
Gemini (May 21st-June 21st): You will find a common bond with people you previously ignored. One of your hobbies may catch the eye of your most hated enemy. Bonds will be forged this week, and they will be long lasting ones as long as you are willing to forgive and forget the past. Those folks that you despise the most may become your closets friends. Be willing to share your thoughts with those that don't necessarily matter in your life, and you will be rewarded in unexpected ways. Your film of the week:
Step Brothers Cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd): This week will see an unexpected illness into your life. An unknown stranger from far away may make an unexpected pit stop on your doorstep. Listen to her words of inspiration and encouragement. Medicine may not be the best method to your recovery. Look deep inside yourself, and maybe a cure will come from within. Your film of the week:
Day the Earth Stood Still 
Leo (July 23rd-August 22nd): Keep your chin up, dear! This is your week for magic! Unexpected obstacles will turn into much needed moments of exercise, and all of the things you've been pinning away for will suddenly be within your reach. Don't hesitate to indulge yourself when the opportunity is presented. Even if you think you are being selfish, the Gods think otherwise. Your film of the week:
Bedtime Stories Virgo (August 23rd-September 22nd): Your immediate family will be a hard pill to swallow this week. Old arguments will come rushing to the surface. And you may find yourself at war with those closest to you. Watch your mouth and watch your tone. Any unexpected outbursts may result in irreparable damage. Keep a sunny outlook, and you will come out the better man at the end of this long seven-day journey. Your film of the week:
Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins 
Libra (September 23rd-October 23rd): Tonight is your night to shine! People are in love with you and you can do no wrong. Go ahead and try. Every potential mistake that could come from your actions will be turned in the opposite direction, and you will win big. Place those bets and buy those lottery tickets. There has never been a better time for you to get the things out of life that you deserve. Your film of the week:
Let It Ride Scorpio (October 24th-November 21): Don't sit back and take it any longer. Now is the time to stand up for what you believe in. Do you feel like a small man with no voice hidden deep within your own company's walls. Well, crawl out of that hole and take a stand. Ask for that raise. You just might get it! Your film of the week:
Take This Job and Shove It 
Sagittarius (November 22nd-December 21st): Your job is co-pilot, and you make a mighty fine one at that. This week you will be asked to stand behind someone else apt at calling the shots. Even though they may seem to possess the upper hand, they would be lost without you. He may be the most important man to the public, but to him, you are his most important person. Don't let him down. And don't let your ego get the best of you. Accept your role as sidekick, and you will find that life is good. Your film of the week:
Star Wars: Episode V: Empire Strikes Back Capricorn (December 22nd-January 19th): Time is not on your side. There are far too many things for you do accomplish in a limited amount of hours. Forget all of that. And stop worrying. Life is short. Take it easy. Do one task at a time, and make sure to reward yourself accordingly. Don't give in to other people's threats. If you want to do something this week, make sure you do it for yourself. That is the only true road to happiness. Your film of the week:
Last Holiday 
Aquarius (January 20th-February 18th): You will feel compelled to travel this week. But others will try to hold you back. Don't listen to authority figures. Escape while you still can, there is a journey of discovery awaiting you. Money will find itself to you, so stop worrying and take that leap. Your film of the week:
Australia Pisces (February 19th-March 20th): Older people are suddenly drawn to you. Though they have more life experience, your open way with communicating may have them seeing life in a whole new light. You can learn something from each other. This week, you will find yourself bridging the generation gap in the oddest of ways. Your film of the week:
18 Again!
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