Zack and Miri Make a Porno: Review By Vamp

I remember when the very first poster and trailer came out for this movie. Like every film starring Seth Rogen, I put in the bin of movies that I personally call "The Kindling Group." Meaning, as soon as it hit DVD, I'd have some new stuff to fuel my fire. Seeing the movie because of Elizabeth Banks never once ocurred to me. Least of all did I expect my good buddy, The Cryptkeeper, to watch the movie, seeing as how he shares many of the same views on comedy movies, and at one time, Seth Rogen. However, the pull of Elizabeth Banks was far too great for him, and so he watched it. He was surprised, or so he told me, and actually enjoyed the movie. Then it was his goal to try and get me to watch the damn thing. I aptly refused, until finally I just got fed up. I made him watch "D.O.A.: Dead or Alive," one of my personal favorites, and I felt I got the short end of the stick with this little wager. After all, he got to watch an awesome movie, whereas I got stuck with this piece of sh*t. However, after watching the movie, I found that he was right. It was a pretty decent movie, and while the vulgarity of the whole thing bugged the sh*t out of me, I couldn't really get mad at it. I mean, with a title like "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," vulgarity is a given. It actually had a good story to it, and while some things were a bit over the top, the movie, as a whole, was decent. I'd say if you're a Seth Rogen fan, and you enjoy vulgar comedies, then this movie will definitely be your cup of tea. I'm not saying it's amazing, but it is a pretty decent watch. This does not mean, however, that I'm telling you to fly to Wal-Mart RIGHT. THIS. INSTANT. And spend twenty bucks to get the movie. It's a good watch, and one that I'd rent before considering to buy it. That's me, anyway.

The director of this movie is Kevin Smith, whom many know as the character from movies like "Clerks" and "Dogma," known as Silent Bob. Kevin Smith has directed many other movies, like "Clerks," "Clerks: The Lost Scene," "Clerks II," "Dogma," "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," and "Jersey Girl." I never knew that Kevin Smith was Silent Bob, myself, until just know while I was on IMDB reading up on the director's other projects in directing. I find it especially surprising that someone who plays a character as (and I do not mean this derogatorily) stupid as Silent Bob, can be so creative. I say creative here because Kevin Smitih also wrote this movie, as well as the above stated films. It's interesting to know that in real life he's actually pretty smart, but in the movies he's kind of an idiot. It's a story similar to that of Larry the Cable Guy, really. He's got a degree, yet he plays this crazy, stupid redneck, and makes millions doing it. Anyway, Kevin Smith's directing is actually insanely good. "Dogma" is actually one of my all time favorite movies. However, we're talking about this movie, "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," where Kevin Smith does a good job. The angles he takes with the movie to make it like a porno, I just find to be hilarious. It's so funny to see the different ways he takes the scenes and simultaneously adds an air of hilarity to it. It's very interesting. He DEFINTELY does an awesome job with the directing of this movie, and I'm pretty sure that no one else could make this movie quite as funny as Kevin Smith, A.K.A. Silent Bob, has. DEFINITELY a great job with the directing on this one!!!!!

The visuals of this movie are very perverted ones, and I want to say that if you are a mother or father, and you've got a child who wishes to see this one, adhere to the R rating because it's definitely not for your little twelve year-old. I felt uncomfortable watching it myself, and am glad Mom didn't walk in during one of the particularly raunchy scenes, and I'm seventeen. Granted, Mom knows what's in store with a title like "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," but you never know. The point is, the visuals of this movie are very adult visuals, and there's nudity galore in it, including male nudity, which people find even more offensive than female nudity. However, that's not to say the visuals aren't good... I don't want to sound like a pervert with that statement, either. I'm merely stating that the visuals that were used with the movie were done very well, and worked out well. My favorite thing to see that they invented, was the "lightsabers" and "blaster cannons" for the "Star Whor*s" scene, which are a certain sexual instrument, rigged up in certain ways... You get where I'm going with this? Anyway, it was a very funny visual, and I thought it worked out pretty well for the movie. The different costumes that they managed to put together for the "Star Whor*s" bit, and for the rest of the movie, too were particularly funny. It's hard to rate the visuals of a movie like this without making yourself seem like a pervert, so I'm going to end by saying that, you'll understand the hilarity of the visuals when you watch the movie. DEFINITELY a great job with the visuals on this movie, though!!!!!

The storyline for this movie is where it dropped the ball, in my opinion. That's not to say that the story SUCKS, but it's not the best. I mean, if you want to pay your bills, don't spend your money on sex toys and ice skates... Gee, who'd have thought that solving your problems would be as simple as spending money on the IMPORTANT things before you spend them on the fivilous items. I should be a debt consolidator, or something like that. Anyway, I digress. If you decide to take the porn route, wouldn't you at least get someplace where you KNOW you can have a chance. Doesn't it seem like renting a building for a month for free is a bit far-fetched? Anyway, the good parts of the story. This was a pretty decent story, and it really went along nice. The love aspect of it was sweet, if vulgar, and while the vulgarity may get on a lot of people's nerves, like it did me, you can't really get pissy about it. I mean, it's "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," not "Zack and Miri Find An Interesting-Yet-Completely-Un-Vulgar Way of Paying the Bills," so if you watched this wanting a nice, cute little funny movie, then you're an idiot. The storyline of this one is where it drops the ball, as I said, but it's a decent enough one, and it didn't drag, so your interest in the movie will duely be intact. A mildly alright job with the storyline on this one!!!!!

Zack Brown (Played by Seth Rogen of "Pineapple Express") is a man who seems to be down on his luck in every sense of the word. He lives in an apartment, which he shares with his longtime friend, Miriam "Miri" Linky (Played by Elizabeth Banks of "The Uninvited"), and they both share the bills and everything that has to do with the apartment. It's a regular day for Zack and MIri as they go through their morning ritual. Zack drops Miri off at her place of work, and then heads to his job at a local coffee shop, along the line of Starbucks, but not the same. Everything is going normally for him, he gets into an argument with his boss, and screws around with his friend, Delaney (Played by Craig Robinson of "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story"). That night, Zack and Miri go to their high school reunion, where Miri tries to hook up with the man she's had a crush on for ages, Bobby Long (Played by Brandon Routh of "Superman Returns"), and while she is flirting with him, Zach goes off and tries to ignore everyone because he can't stand anyone there. That's where he meets a man named Brandon St. Randy (Played by Justin Long of "Live Free or Die Hard"), whom he finds out stars in gay porn movies, and is actually Bobby Long's boyfriend. So, Zack breaks this news to Miri, and pretty much makes her night sh*t. Before the couple departs, however, Miri finds out that she and Zack had been videotaped at the coffee shop, her in her granny panties, and Zack mooning the cameramen when he found out they were taping her, so now they're on YouTube, and extremely popular. They go home after a while, calling the reunion a bust, and while they are relaxing and just chilling, the power turns off. Earlier, before the party, the water had shut off, too. The bills weren't paid. So they head to a nearby bar, and ponder why in the world someone shuts off someone's power the night BEFORE Thanksgiving. As they're talking about ways to pay the bills, and Miri mentions something about this being the situation everyone gets in right before the result to having sex for money, which Zack finds incredibly interesting, and latches onto it. He works on convincing Miri that that's exactly what they should do, since Brandon St. Randy, the man that they'd met at the reunion, filmed and starred in his own porn movies and made over a hundred thousand dollars doing so. Miri, however, is not too keen on the whole idea, and it takes her a while to finally get used to it. However, she has to agree that only her and Zack would have sex because she doesn't want to have to have sex with strangers. So now that Zack has Miri on board, he goes in search of everything else that he needs to put the film together. The first thing he needs is funding, and so he must find someone to produce the film. This someone, is his coworker, Delaney. It takes Delaney a bit of talking to to convince him to fund the movie because Delaney had his heart set on getting a flat screen TV for his house, however Zack manages to make him see sense, and gets the funding. His trump card? Delaney would get to do casting, and see boobs to make sure they were porno material "actresses." Now Zack's got to find a cameraman, so he gets an old friend of his from Highschool who used to tape the football games, Deacon (Played by Jeff Andeerson of "Clerks"), and he's game. Now all that's left is to find the actors. They find a man named Lester (Played by Jason Mewes of "Clerks"), who has an interestingly disgusting talent, a woman named Bubbles (Played by Traci Lords of "Blade"), who has an equally interestingly disgusting talent, an actor named Barry (Played by Ricky Mabe of "Trailer Park of Terror"), and a stripper named Stacey (Played by Katie Morgan). With their cast and crew set up, Zack and Miri begin on their first hit, "Star Whor*s," but when tradgedy strikes their building where they film, they must find a new place. Now Zack is incredibly upset with himself for thinking that he could manage doing all of this on his own and using other people's money, when he realizes that his place of work is the perfect place to shoot, and they begin work on their next movie (Which title I won't mention, for censorship's sake), and they continue what they were doing. Everything goes well, until Zack and Miri's scene together, where they seem to be having butterflies. They've known each other for so long, it just seems weird to them to be doing this, however they go on with it, and end up finding out that instead of just having sex, they made love, and now their feelings toward each other have changed, leaving them confused, and ruining their relationship, as something happens to upset both of them. Now their goal is to finish this movie and pay their bills without losing their friendship, but it doesn't seem like either thing is going to happen at all. However, their friends seem to be looking out for them. The actors and actresses involved in this movie all did a pretty good job, however Seth Rogen I still say has no acting ability whatsoever. His performance was alright, but it was just so bland, that my opinion of him has not changed at all. Elizabeth Banks however, did a great job and really stole the show with her performance. Same with the character Delaney, and his constant attacks on his wife. Those were great. The actors and actresses manage to get their points across really well, and portray the characters nicely enough for the movie, and make it fun, and interesting. Definitely an alright job with the casting choices for this movie!!!!!

All in all, this movie was not as bad as I initially thought it would be. It was as vulgar as I imagined, but like I said a lot, that's to be expected from a movie with a name like "Zack and Miri Make a Porno," it's not exactly "The Emperor's New Groove," after all. Anyway, the movie was decent, and I'm not pissed off at myself for liking it, either, which is definitely a good thing. The directing of this movie was done incredibly well, and the angles of the camera that were chosen by the director worked out VERY well for the movie overall, and really brought the hilarity of the events going on into perspective. DEFINITELY a great job by the Director!!!!! The writer of this movie is the same as the director, and he manages to create a decent story that works for the film, and the fact that he directs it, too, shows his talent. DEFINITELY a decent job by the Writer!!!!! The visuals of this movie are done VERY well, and while it may make sound like a pervert to say that, I stick by it. DEFINITELY a great job on the visuals of this Movie!!!!! The storyline is where the movie kind of drops the ball, as I said, and while it was fun, and an interesting and original storyline, it showed the stupidity of what was going on because the characters had easy solutions to their problems right under their noses, but then again, that's a movie for you, isn't it? Definitely an alright job on the storyline for this movie!!!!! The Actors and Actresses involved in this movie definitely do an awesome job and play their characters RELATIVELY Convincingly, RELATIVELY Believably, and RELATIVELY Realistically, and manage to make characters that you can sort of feel for, though I don't know how well you could RELATE TO them, on variously different levels. DEFINITELY a decent job on the casting for this movie!!!!! So if you're looking for a good laugh, then I'm telling you to go out and rent "Zack and Miri Make a Porno." It may not be the best movie ever, but it's worth a watch, and you'll definitely laugh. You might not even get disappointed by it. I know I didn't!!!!!