'Waterworld' Review By Worth5Bucks

Kevin Costner playing a Kevin Costner role in a Kevin Costner movie.
  • OVERALL
    2.0
    POOR
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Waterworld is about as bad of a movie as it gets before it actually starts making your life worse than it was before you watched it. Its simply borderline bad and it makes you feel like you're watching Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves except on a different set. (And for those of who don't know that movie was bad enough as it was.)

The beginning of Waterworld was actually interesting. You learn that whole world is now underwater by something that men had done several hundred years before (Implying global warning caused by the people.) First of all this one never happen in a few hundred years and second of all it has almost been one hundred percent proven that men could never cause it, but it seemed for a movie that was entertaining enough.

-----------------------------SPOILERS-----------------------------

The movie opens with Kevin Costner, whose character doesn't have a name so he will always be Kevin in this review. The first thing he does is filter his urine and then drink it. The first thing I thought was surely they have methods of boiling and distilling water in the future, but throughout the movie even though they have plenty of fire, fresh water seems to be as rare as dirt.

There's some interesting tribal music in the background, enough to get you interested into who wrote this score. As you get a look around his raft you notice that it is composed of many knick-knacky parts and you realize that supplies must be rare in the future and so must be food, because the only thing he has to water his limes with in the future is his piss.

He dives underwater and when he eventually resurfaces someone has stolen his limes; he gets mad at the man who stole his limes and leaves him for dead to some people approaching on wave runners who throughout the movie are called Smokers, now throughout the movie you never really find out why they were called Smokers, but it was probably because of either the fact that they are always smoking (I don't know where they got the tobacco) or because they are the only ones who drive motor vehicles in the movie, continuing to pollute the air after global warming has already had major effect.

As he drives off you get the first given hint of cheesiness when the lime stealer is killed and you hear the blood curdling scream of Jurassic park. He then arrives at a see port where he only gets in because he has a jar of dirt. He then gets arrested when it's discovered that he's a mutant and he has gills and webbed feet.

The port gets attacked by Smokers, Kevin escapes from his cage and he takes with him a girl who has a tattoo of 'A Map to Dryland' on her back. This is where the basic plot comes from. It's a quest where both Kevin and the smokers are trying to find Dryland. You can guess from there.

---------------------------END SPOILERS---------------------------

Story:

Writers David Twohy and Peter Rader don't really have much to say for themselves here the story's pretty bland if you read what's above. It involves a lot of overkill and unnecessary plot twists.

Acting:

There isn't necessarily anything wrong with the acting of the movie. The problem is that these characters are nothing new. You've seen them before. There was the standard grumpy hero and the standard female that continues to get mad at Kevin and falls in love with him at the same time. There were a few very cheesy parts of the movie but I believe it was more a problem with the script.

Directing:

An unfortunate thing about this movie is that Kevin Reynolds seems to direct this movie in the exact same format of his other title Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. All the shots seem the same. He put in a lot of action and a lot of unnecessary kabooms but in the end, Kevin did exactly what he does best. He literally, somehow, I don't know how, makes action look bad. It seems like in any Kevin Reynolds film I have ever seen; the most likely time for me to fall asleep is in an action scene. It seems impossible, but it's always bland, and it's always boring. This is a film that I rather would have had Michael Bay direct. That's saying something.

Visuals:

Same deal here, you've got a lot of things that theoretically should look good on film, but they don't come through. You could tell that's why they blew up so many things with unnecessarily large explosions. But even those did not help, they hurt.

Music:

The music was the best part of the movie, yet if I could rate the score, I would only give it a three out of five. That says something about how mediocre this movie was. James Newton Howard and Mark Isham just didn't come through like you would expect. I however, don't blame them. If I scored a movie like this, I probably wouldn't have given it my best either.

Overall:

Somehow, somewhere along the way, you just had to wonder, when did the people making this movie call it quits? Sure, the story wasn't fantastic, but you could still tell they were trying to a certain point. This is the saddest thing in a movie to me. When you can tell that the effort placed into a film is just gone. This unfortunately, gave me that vibe. This movie wasn't awful it just lacked the one thing that makes good movies good at all: Passion.

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Comments (11)

  1. Worth5Bucks

    Thanx Summit :)

    3 years agoby @mattbierwagenFlag

  2. Summit10

    very insightful, the plot and script was quite bland but I did enjoyed the action scenes from Mariner (i think I heard them say this) and the Smokers cat and mouse chase in order to retrieve the kid and provide humankind hope.

    just like writing a report man! good job :)

    3 years agoby @summit10Flag

  3. Worth5Bucks

    Thanks! @D definitely!

    3 years agoby @mattbierwagenFlag

  4. IlikePie202

    dang, great review!

    3 years agoby @Ilikepie202Flag

  5. Diaigma

    Ah, Waterworld. I remember the stunt show at Universal Studios Hollywood being more exciting than this movie :P
    Awesome review, and I agree with your points and rating completely. This had potential, but with the budget they had, you'd think they would do more with the production than what they did with it. Nice work!

    3 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  6. Worth5Bucks

    Ok I will, but if i see a movie in theaters i will still have the what i expected going in section

    3 years agoby @mattbierwagenFlag

  7. Daveactor7

    @Worth keep it like this format. Its good and simpler. I like lol

    3 years agoby @daveactor7Flag

  8. Worth5Bucks

    Thanks, I worked pretty hard on this one, and i forgot to mention I do like one movie Kevin Reynolds directs, The Count of Monte Cristo

    3 years agoby @mattbierwagenFlag

  9. Daveactor7

    Hm. Not bad. Good review

    3 years agoby @daveactor7Flag

  10. Dan

    I like the layout of your review, it has a nice, clean look to it. Good review.

    3 years agoby @dan1Flag

  11. Worth5Bucks

    How's my elaboration @dave lol

    3 years agoby @mattbierwagenFlag