'Vampires Suck' Critic Reviews

21%
MovieWeb:   13 reviews
4%
Rotten Tomatoes:   83 reviews
  • Adam Markovitz Entertainment Weekly (Top Critic)
    34
    The Twilight Saga, with its operatic gloom and straight-faced fantasy, is undoubtedly ripe for a smart, good-natured ribbing. This isn't it.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Jeannette Catsoulis New York Times (Top Critic)
    10
    Aside from the difficulty of spoofing a saga that has always been winkingly aware of its own angsty excesses, there is the inadvisability of angering a tweeniverse whose emotional investment in the originals borders on pathological.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Peter Bradshaw Guardian [UK] (Top Critic)
    20
    The last time I heard a film audience in such a state of silence was during Ingmar Bergman's Winter Light.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Jen Chaney Washington Post (Top Critic)
    13
    Perhaps the filmmakers deserve credit for their one show of restraint: No jokes in this movie have been made at the expense of Justin Bieber.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Natalie Southwick Boston Globe (Top Critic)
    25
    With Vampires Suck, the film is just as guilty as the vampires.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Randy Cordova Arizona Republic (Top Critic)
    30
    Two very important things to note about Vampires Suck: The film is a spoof of the Twilight movies, and the title is a good indication of where the level of wit lies.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Joe Leydon Variety (Top Critic)
    This instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Roger Moore Orlando Sentinel (Top Critic)
    25
    It's the sort of movie where "finger food" is offered at a party. And it's fingers. Haw.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Bruce Demara Toronto Star (Top Critic)
    25
    Parodies can be hilarious. This one sucks.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Frank Scheck Hollywood Reporter (Top Critic)
    There's a joke or broad sight gag every 15 seconds or so, but the ratio of hits to misses is nearly nonexistent.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Peter Travers Rolling Stone (Top Critic)
    0
    This movie sucks more.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Michael Ordona Los Angeles Times (Top Critic)
    Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Dennis Schwartz Ozus' World Movie Reviews
    34
    An insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • John Gholson Cinematical
    There are few things worse than watching a comedy flatline for over an hour, tossing its "funny parts" into a vacuum of uncomfortable silence.
    Full Review » 3 years ago
  • James Luxford The National
    0
    A banal mess that sacrifices anything resembling satire for a series of smutty jokes.
    Full Review » 3 years ago
  • Mark Kermode BBC Radio Five Live
    Full Review » 3 years ago
  • Mike Barnard Future Movies UK
    20
    Only Friedberg and Seltzer could film this dross with the belief they are making even a half-decent comedy.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • James Plath DVDTown.com
    50
    Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from 'Twilight' isn't enough to make for a great parody.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • James Plath Movie Metropolis
    50
    Casting two lookalikes and coaching your young actors to mimic the trio from 'Twilight' isn't enough to make for a great parody.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Future Movies UK
    20
    There was a time when, for a certain generation, the release of a new Naked Gun or Hot Shots movie would be cause for real excitement.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Russell Lewin SFX Magazine
    30
    A movie that will have you pining to watch the real Twilight films. Yes, it's that bad.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Allan Hunter Daily Express
    20
    A witless, puerile spoof of the Twilight movies.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Alistair Harkness Scotsman
    20
    Vampires Suck misses its targets in spectacular fashion thanks to the directors' usual approach of simply recreating scenes from the original movies without any real understanding of what to satirise or even how to go about it.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • David Edwards Daily Mirror [UK]
    20
    It's not quite as bad as Friedberg and Seltzer's usual output, but only in the way that measles is better than mumps.
    Full Review » 4 years ago
  • Jennie Kermode Eye for Film
    30
    Full Review » 4 years ago