'Valentine's Day' Critic Reviews

65%
MovieWeb:   8 reviews
18%
Rotten Tomatoes:   189 reviews
  • Lisa Schwarzbaum Entertainment Weekly (Top Critic)
    0
    Every skit is lame, every line of dialogue is stale, every joke falls flat, and every performance has been phoned in between text messages to agents blinking, ''SOS!''
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Manohla Dargis New York Times (Top Critic)
    20
    The dire romantic comedy Valentine's Day is neither romantic nor remotely comedic.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Peter Bradshaw Guardian [UK] (Top Critic)
    20
    A brutal St Valentine's Day massacre of comedy, of love, of believable human emotion.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Claudia Puig USA Today (Top Critic)
    38
    Valentine's Day has all the awkward tedium of a bad first date, without the promise or excitement of a good one.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Jen Chaney Washington Post (Top Critic)
    38
    This feels less like a movie and more like a strategically programmed effort to turn as many demographic groups as possible into mooshy, gooshy, candy-heart-munching morons.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Wesley Morris Boston Globe (Top Critic)
    38
    For those who prefer their romantic comedy in bulk, this is a steal. But attention Costco shoppers: Quantity here runs a distant second to quality.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Elizabeth Weitzman New York Daily News (Top Critic)
    50
    Sugary, sappy and totally predictable. It's also what a whole lot of women are likely to want.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • John Anderson Wall Street Journal (Top Critic)
    Valentine's Day deploys every rom-com cliche, minus the com-there's isn't a laugh in the movie, unless you count a fleeting sequence featuring comedian Larry Miller, who's also probably the least prominent member of the cast.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Christopher Kelly Dallas Morning News (Top Critic)
    60
    High art? Maybe not. But Valentine's Day certainly goes down easy.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Lisa Kennedy Denver Post (Top Critic)
    63
    Charmingly cast and phenomenally so-so.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • James Rocchi MSN Movies (Top Critic)
    0
    The real St. Valentine was stoned and beheaded; would that the same fate fell on the people behind this shallow, shabby fraud.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times (Top Critic)
    50
    Valentine's Day is so desperate to keep all the characters alive, it's like those Russian jugglers who run around, trying to keep all their plates spinning on poles.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune (Top Critic)
    50
    Is Valentine's Day good? Not really, though plenty of the actors are.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Cliff Doerksen Chicago Reader (Top Critic)
    Valueless as entertainment, it's still useful as a disambiguation tool for those who confuse Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, or Taylor Dayne and Taylor Swift.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Carrie Rickey Philadelphia Inquirer (Top Critic)
    75
    As sweets go, it's not dense and complex like a truffle, rather, it's light and modest like a chocolate kiss. It's not art; it's a pick-me-up.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Colin Covert Minneapolis Star Tribune (Top Critic)
    63
    The film seems like a package deal arranged by a talent agency that found half its stars were idle for a day or two over a three-week period.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Tom Long Detroit News (Top Critic)
    50
    Valentine's Day is a passing nod to love, like a box of chocolates or flowers that soon wilt. It's star-studded amiable fluff with no real value, but it's kind of a tickle if you're in the mood.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Bill Goodykoontz Arizona Republic (Top Critic)
    40
    Marshall, working from a script by Katherine Fugate, probably would have done better to pare some of the elements to concentrate more fully on... something. His golf game, maybe.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Rex Reed New York Observer (Top Critic)
    It's a romantic piffle stuffed with so much candy that your skin could break out.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Todd McCarthy Variety (Top Critic)
    As gooey and lacking in protein as a chocolate holiday bonbon, Valentine's Day plays like a feature-length commercial produced by the Friends of the Valentine Promotional Society.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Lou Lumenick New York Post (Top Critic)
    0
    Less funny or romantic than your average colonoscopy, this cringe-inducing bore provides dubious employment for four Oscar winners, two nominees and a raft of TV performers such as George Lopez, all of whom have been seen to better advantage elsewhere.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Roger Moore Orlando Sentinel (Top Critic)
    38
    It's an American Love Actually without the warmth that writer-director Richard Curtis stuffs into his all-star confections, without the wit, without much love, actually.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Linda Barnard Toronto Star (Top Critic)
    38
    Like a tiny car that putters into the centre ring at the circus and starts disgorging clown after clown, Valentine's Day has crammed 19 stars into one vehicle. The difference? Clowns are entertaining.
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Laremy Legel Film.com (Top Critic)
    34
    Valentine's Day is clearly trying to play us for a rube, taking advantage of our kind hearts, but we won't get fooled again, will we?
    Full Review » 5 years ago
  • Rick Groen Globe and Mail (Top Critic)
    50
    The film may be set in L.A., but no scene lasts longer than a New York minute.
    Full Review » 5 years ago