Valentine: Critic Reviews

Doesn't contain a single scary or imaginative moment.

When it's hard to hear the dialogue because the audience is laughing, it's clear that Valentine doesn't even succeed on its own limited terms.

The standard stalker stuff that Scream satirized.

Playing it straight with material this ridiculous is an exercise in self-defeat.

The contradictory sexual politics in this lightweight slasher suggest that at some point it was meant to satirize the traditional mores of the self-satisfied female characters.

Looking good but lacking much in the way of personality or gray matter.

Succeeds on its own modest terms, and the plot doesn't fall apart under credit-roll pondering.

In the new teen slasher flick Valentine, a public-school nerd, now grown up, seeks to systematically murder all the girls who wouldn't dance with him at the Grade 6 Valentine's dance. Or maybe that's not what happens. It is hard to tell.

I had fun anyway.

Not only is it deadly dull, but the killer actually courts the audience's sympathy.

The killings themselves mostly lack imagination.

A smart, stylish horror picture that offers a fresh twist on the ever-reliable revenge theme and affords a raft of talented young actors solid roles that show them to advantage.

Poorly made and just stupid.

Yet another one of those films that Scream was supposed to have buried but instead resurrected.

It doesn't have those scare-the-sh*t out of you moments, and if it doesn't have any of those, what's the point?

Scary horror flicks went out with the emergence of the self-referential horror movie.

The essential daftness isn't helped by the stars, who play it straight when they should have gone for laughs.

Porno actresses are smarter than this crew!

I'm not a big fan of horror films, but as they go this isn't a bad one.

A cheesy horror flick that doesn't take itself too seriously.

The horror-thriller Valentine makes mistakes where its successful predecessors like Scream didn't, essentially revealing its antagonist in its casting.

As run-of-the-mill slasher movies go, one of the best to hit screens since the post-Scream boom.

Hopefully audiences will come to their senses and mark this one "return to sender."

Just when the slasher genre had mercifully been left for dead, along comes this abysmally wasteful exercise to drain it of whatever life it has left.

A WB teen melodrama with the lamest villain since the Gorton's Fisherman in I Know What You Did Last Summer.