'Under Siege' Review By slysnide

"I got tired of coming up with last minute solutions to impossible problems created by other f***ing people!"
  • OVERALL
    3.0
    WORTHY
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
So this was on the A&E quadruple play last night from 8:00pm-4:00am. I walked in on it at 9:20pm and finished it cuz I was intrigued by the ‘80s rock-star villain that Tommy Lee Jones was playing, and watched it again from 10:00-10:30 so I could figure out what the hell was going on, but missed the hijacking scene, so watched it from 10:40-11:20 so I was back where I started, so I finished it again, watched it all the way through the 3rd time, and watched it a 4th time while listening to my iPod. (I had a lot of caffeine earlier and there was nothing else to do).

The plot is as follows:

Commander Krill (Gary Busey) and former military man Billy Stranux (Tommy Lee Jones) hijack the U.S.S. Missouri during the captain’s birthday bash while on its’ final voyage to port to be disassembled. Their evil ‘90s action movie plan is to smuggle off the warheads that were ordered to be decommissioned by the president via submarine and sell them overseas for a $200,000,000 payoff. But lowly cook/ex-Navy Seal Casey Ryback (Steven Seagul) is the only crew member able to stop them…with the assistance of Miss July ’89 who was drugged before the party.

It coulda been way longer, but being on a battleship, the scapes are limited, though it still coulda been longer for what it was, given that it’s an action flick.

The acting by Steven Seagul was bad, as was the acting by the girl, who got used to the situation a lot quicker than her character would.

Gary Busey played the commander gone bad (kinda like he usually does in his roles) that saves the acting rating.

However, Tommy Lee Jones as Billy Stranux that dresses and acts like an ‘80s rock-star stole the movie completely and earns the acting rating (ya know. Party crew takes over sorta thing). Strangely enough, after the successful hijacking he doesn’t drop the persona, and only delivers 3 serious lines in the whole movie. Having never seen him play a villain before, he kicks ass.

This was a vintage action flick from the ‘90s with bad acting on the part of the lead action star with a decent plot, a bad guy former patriot, a crazy guy out for revenge, a war room full of worried military heads, and cheesy one liners. But Stranux referencing his evil plan with Yosemite Sam and Saturday Morning Cartoons and fighting Ryback with a black leather ’80s rock-star jacket with aviators and a tye-dye shirt was pretty cool.

[Having never seen a Steven Seagul film before, I don’t know how this hold up amongst the others. For I expected bad acting.]

It’s basically “Die Hard” on a battleship, except with not as good a leading action star, and a cooler villain than Hans Gruber, though he was still good too (but mostly cuz of Alan Rickman).

Overall, it was a good popcorn movie whose unique villains is the only thing that saved the rating, and overall interest in the film

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Comments (1)

  1. slysnide

    I was just finished writing this review the first time, and an incoming call killed the internet connection, and cut off the site, so I had to write it all over again, and once I clicked "submit" after completing it the second time, another incoming call killed the connection, and the same thing happened, and I was really ticked off. So I retyped it on a MicWord Doc*ment and pasted it for a quick submission. I know my original review was better though. It took an hour overall with all the rewrites.

    7 years agoby @slysnideFlag