Twilight: Review By Christian

Twilight the movie is a complete regret. It is a bad movie, and it could have been done much better with probably even less than the low budget it was already made on. All of the most amazing lines from the book were completely taken off the story, and replaced by such things as "I was having an adrenaline rush...It's quite common, you can Google it," and "hold on tight spidermonkey." (NOTE: Catherine Hardwicke- the outstanding director of Twilight- is the one that came up with that last one; and also the line "cat" spoken by Edward Cullen in the restaurant scene in Port Angeles, when he was explaining to Bella about his ability to hear people's thoughts. Both of those lines fit Edward so perfectly, just the same way my skintight clothing fits me). Also things were changed, added, taken off, destroyed, and... well it's for you to see. Edward's running was awful, he was probably running two feet above the ground, and it looked very Power Ranger special effects.

All the slow, interesting, fascinating, heart racing process it took for Bella and Edward to fall in love was cut out, and fast forwarded into very distracting scenes. The restaurant scene wasn't at all as romantic as the book intended for it to be. Dear Catherine, if you were so passionately in love with Twilight, then what were you thinking meanwhile reading the book? Was it not clear to you that Edward and Bella were sitting in a small un-crowded part of the Italian restaurant, not in the middle of it surrounded by strangers eating and thinking about sex, money, and out of all, the most impressive, cats. Did you forget how Edward was so into telling Bella the truth about what had occurred? Not about cats. And how he was leaning closer and closer to Bella, she touched his marble hands for the first time since she'd met him. On the other hand, the ride back from Port Angeles to Forks in Edward's speedracing Volvo was completely dreadful. "Your skin is cold as ice" dramatic much? And Edward looked as if he was about to sh*t his pants the whole way. The book did say he was supposed to look uncomfortable, but that was when he first picked her up and saved her life.

Catherine Hardwicke should join the crew of the Scary Movie franchise, if not be completely banned from the moviemaking industry. She can do a very god job ruining a complete masterpiece. I wonder why she is not directing The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Also writer Melissa Rosenberg probably should have never written an adaptation, because obviously things that were important to the fans weren't even written in the script. The meadow scene was nice, as of the cinematography and lightening, but not for what was going on. That was the scene where she found out so much about what was going on in his head when she had first seen him. They were touching one another, holding on. Robert Pattinson did not pull off what Edward Cullen is. He very well could have, as good of an actor, and as attractive he is, but because Catherine didn't really picture an Edward charming, beautiful, flawless, unpredictable, splendid, god like... well, her horrible vision and directing, did not quite help him (Robert) accomplish it. He went based on what she saw, and in my complete opinion, what Catherine had seen is not what Stephenie Meyer- the author of Twilight- had dreamt.

If it was so hard to make them fall in love quickly, then why add those horrible scenes of Laurent, James, and Victoria before they're even supposed to come? Why make them kill people that don't even exist (in the book)? Why not just focus on Bella and Edward? Why add a field trip? Why add a book? Why add those scenes where Charlie and Bella dine out, when the book made it crystal clear that Bella did most of the cooking in the house? The book goes over and over about her marinating steaks, making salads, grilled cheese, lasagna, enchiladas, etc. Also the book made it very clear that Eric had skin problems, Mike had spiky hair, Bella's mother, Renée, looked like Bella, not blonde with light eyes, and Edward was NOT wearing contact lenses, so if you had the time to make his eyes more golden with CGI, then why not also take the rim of the contacts out? Especially in those close ups where she's sitting next to him in Biology. It was very distracting, especially with the context of their conversation.

Taking aside the constructive criticism of the dreadful directing, story structure, character arc, and horrible lines, I have to thank Elliot Davis for the great cinematography, and lightening, and the bands that actually allowed Catherine to put their songs in the movie. Without those the movie would have been below dreadful.

My overall opinion of the film? A complete joke.