'Thor' Review By Diaigma

A pox be on the heads of puny morals who would berate the might of Thor, a Marvel amongst this new and dawning summer, and may Odin have mercy on their depraved souls, but prithee mind its worthiness as one would a fallen god.
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
"This drink . . . I like it! ANOTHER!" - Thor

As a wee lad, I'd often lain mine eyes on shelves within book shops, containing thin volumes known as "comics," mocked for scorn by some, or regarded as sacred writ from sources most powerful to others. Thor, like many a hero in cape and tights, struck discord to mine youthful need for reason. Forsooth, I could not mingle amongst such nonsense. Years passed. A trailer emerged--a bewitching sight that roused gramercy from mine lips--and with Branagh, a brother of such favorable works, which have more ado than nothing! Mine attention drawn, I harkened the date and reserved a lofty digital screen, only to unearth a neglected gem of mine childhood. A pox be on the heads of puny morals who would berate the might of Thor, a Marvel amongst this new and dawning summer, and may Odin have mercy on their depraved souls, but prithee mind its worthiness as one would a fallen god.

Thor, Odin's son, is a warrior like none other, the very god of thunder, and he is to be made king before the hosts of Asgard, The Eternal, until Frost Giants invade the weapons vault and delay the ceremony. Enraged, Thor goes against his father and seeks the giants out, in their realm of Jotunheim, causing a violent disturbance that would unleash war amongst the realms. As punishment, Odin seizes Thor's hammer, Mjolnir, and banishes him to Earth. If Thor wishes to reclaim his fallen hammer, he must learn of his faults and become worthy. He must make haste. Trouble threatens to destroy Asgard and the Nine Realms (including Earth). Can a moral woman help guide Thor back to his noble ways, or will the invincible Destroyer sunder him to ashes?

A vague knowledge was mine, respecting the Norse mythos by which Marvel derived, but unlike anything hitherto shown in ages past. Flee The Grid, and pay no heed to Pandora. I wish to visit Asgard! Never a sight held such cosmic flair as the stunning world of Thor, courtesy of BUF, an effects studio of such foreign reputation that mine preconceived notions of ILM helming the visuals had deceived me. Branagh knows his royal families, conducting their drama with impeccable taste. Helmsworth, Hiddleston, and Hopkins carry a voice that suits the Viking gods. Commix a score by Patrick Doyle with noteworthy strength throughout, a surprising cameo, humor, and nary an unnecessary presence of S.H.E.I.D. agents. Thine approval ought to be met, as 'twas mine.

Lacking the might of Thor's thunder 'twas the chemistry betwixt our hero and his floundering maiden (and addling, earthly companions). Not once did Portman's Jane Foster define a beacon of science, but rather a love-struck damsel, who employed a whiny approach to her character as her leading man[child] performed in another galaxy, far far away. Thus is the weakest of romances amongst the Marvel films. Denning's Darcey Lewis was as out of place as her internship, and the editing was a colossal wellaway, with fight scenes too shaky and close for mine eyes to discern. Add the Devil's vice (3D) and thine aching head shall mock the extra dollars missing from thine wallet.

A robust addition to the Marvel universe, to be sure, on par with the likes of The Incredible Hulk, but under the invincible Iron Man. Captain America is next. Survive the deplorable song during the closing credits and you will be rewarded a cookie! A film of Thor could have gone awry in so many a way, but it succeed with spirit, valor, and a well of refreshing emotion amongst a desert scene. Oh, thank thee Gods of cinema! A time well spent, and worthy of more than a rent. Done is three. One more. Tremble. Avengers assemble!

This movie? I like it! ANOTHER!

(By Movieweb's Diaigma: resemblance to other reviews is coincidental)

Do you like this review?

Comments (23)

  1. Zak Lee Ferguson

    sorry just got to read this, yes at last someone who appreciates it for what it is and still can be critical and cynical but alas still has a professional grace, great review @diaigma
    all Best KickAss88

    4 years agoby @Zak-Lee-FergusonFlag

  2. Diaigma

    @Ilikepie202 - I would like to know why, in a review perhaps? And thank you. It's been a while, sir :)

    4 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  3. IlikePie202

    @diaigma Great review, but I didn't like the film

    4 years agoby @Ilikepie202Flag

  4. MovieManiac

    @diaigma - It's a pleasure to read your great reviews man :)

    4 years agoby @moviemaniac66Flag

  5. moviegeek

    @diaigma Crazy, huh!

    4 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  6. slysnide

    @diaigma: I've been poxed for 23yrs, yet despite still being alive, Thor can suck it! lolz :P (and sorry about the other night, messenger connection issues kicked me off and wouldn't let me back in)

    4 years agoby @slysnideFlag

  7. Diaigma

    @moviegeek - no way! Our rating is the same? ::grabs a coat in anticipation of Hell freezing over:: - that's awesome. Glad you and I see eye to eye on this one :)

    @skywise, @mattbierwagen, @moviemaniac66, thank you, guys. It's a pleasure writing for you all :)

    4 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  8. moviegeek

    @diaigma Guess what? :)

    4 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  9. skywise

    @diaigma very interesting style i am impressed. Glad you liked it as did i. Good review man.

    4 years agoby @skywiseFlag

  10. Worth5Bucks

    @diaigma This review is truly fantastic, i have no idea how youre not official, youre themed reviews bring a fresh feel every time :)

    4 years agoby @mattbierwagenFlag

  11. MovieManiac

    Great review!! I was expecting you to not enjoy this movie at all but I am glad that you enjoyed it.

    4 years agoby @moviemaniac66Flag

  12. Diaigma

    @bud2fresh - glad I was able to amuse. Thanks, and you're right. I have something in mind for Capt'n A ;)

    ::clinks @ejk1's flagon with his:: - Much obliged, sir.

    @narrator - as always, thank you for your intensive feedback. I know how particular you can be about other's opinions (which I think is downright awesome), but to say that my reviews hold more weight than those of "official" critics represented on RT is downright humbling, and inspiring, - ::winks at @movieweb team ;) :: - Me thanks your generous words, even though you are quick to forgive my typos. Enjoy your (Mother's Day) movie ;)

    4 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  13. thethirdapple

    @diaigma :-) I actually like the, morals/mortals typo... well placed typo considering the story of Thor.

    4 years agoby @thethirdappleFlag

  14. the Narrator

    Gasp! He liked it!? Nooooo!!!

    Lol. Great review, D. I really got a kick out of it, and I'd attempt to reply in an equally archaic language, but I always tend to drift into a Rugor Nass like language, and that's just... wrong.

    Anyways, I enjoyed your review, and I must say it got my hopes up a bit. While I stated earlier that I held no weight in the individual reviews on RT, I must say I hold weight in YOUR reviews, @diaigma, and very few reviewers can state that claim. You pointed out some of the flaws I expected (the chemistry, the editing), but you also mentioned the strong points of the film, which surprised me. I'll see this film tomorrow (Sunday), and I'll get back to you on it.

    Again, a magnificent, and well timed/spaced review, and I look forward to another one as well (of your reviews, that is). ;)

    4 years agoby @narratorFlag

  15. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    Woke up to a mighty review :) @diaigma

    4 years agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  16. ejk1

    Thou art an excellent reviewer, and gave me much amusement with this read. Today, I will raise a pint of mead in your honor, good sir.

    4 years agoby @ejk1Flag

  17. moviegeek

    Haha great review.

    4 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  18. bud2fresh

    Dude that was not only a great review but halfway through reading it when i realize you were not breaking character i busted out laughing with excitement to read more! You are truley a fellow Asgardian and i can't wait until Cap comes out and read your take on it :)

    4 years agoby @bud2freshFlag

  19. Diaigma

    @thethirdapple - blah. Typos. The reason I should not write reviews at two in the morning. I'm normally better than that.

    @movieweb, has that editing option been fixed yet?

    @corey, @dan1, @kguy - thanks, mine fellow friends. You guys art awesome! :)

    4 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  20. K.Guy

    @diaigma Awesome review Movieweb'GOD'! Seeing this later in the evening.

    4 years agoby @kguyFlag

  21. Corey W.

    What @dan1 said. lol.

    This is an AWESOME review @diaigma. This is going into my list of favorite reviews. You liked it a bit more than me, but I agree on what you said about the chemistry. :)

    4 years agoby @coreyFlag

  22. thethirdapple

    are the missing "L" and "T" in certain words done on purpose ? athough i ike the idea of moral humans, where is our S.H.E.I.D. ?

    4 years agoby @thethirdappleFlag

  23. Dan

    @diaigma Thou has written a most pleasing review for thine eyes to absorb. This particular moviewebber continues to scratch thine head, in wonderment and displeasure why thou hath not received thy Official status. Thy Asgardians of Movieweb shame themselves for failing to bestow thou with this gift.

    4 years agoby @dan1Flag