The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning: Review By moviegeek

Oct 20th, 2010 by moviegeek
THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS OF FILM-MAKING #7: "Ugliness Masked as Interpretive Beauty"
  • OVERALL
    0.5
    HORRIBLE
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
**This is the worst film I have ever seen; it actually warrants a no-star rating.**

I have consistently finished every movie I have begun, no matter the quality. I make an effort to give every film a chance to engage me throughout the entirety of its runtime. I have upheld that standard ... until now.

"The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" is a vile and ugly picture. There is no need for me to senselessly beat around the bush. There is nothing redeemable about this picture. Those who, in dire measures, wish to convince you otherwise will have to look so abstractly at either the cinematography, the gore, or "artistic interpretation" that their praise is undoubtedly fraudulent (or, if proven sincere, then nothing short of demented).

What begins grotesquely and unpleasantly steadily flat-lines for the course of the film (at least as much as I watched). The movie unveils the grimy past of the Leatherface character: from his painful birth and placement, to the bringing up in a demented cannibalistic house. Of course, four helpless teenagers are all caught in the middle of it. These "characters" are merely robots. The only effort to humanize them is to place simplistic tensions between the two brothers who are drafted for Vietnam war service.

I sincerely despise this movie. It is a mean-spirited and revolting picture, witlessly masked as "just another fun scare-fest." What makes a good scary film, is the overall sense of fun. As contradictory as that sounds, every good horror picture must have a brooding charisma, a sort of liveliness. Yes, it can be dark and even grossly gory; but there must be something in the film that makes us want to cheer for the girl on the run; there must be something that gives us a sense of good versus evil; there must be an excitement in all of the menace. "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning" is just grotesquely manufactured to eliminate any sort of emotion once you begin watching. The film plays out simply to desensitize you to the evil within.

This is where this film completely enters into the final deadly sin of filmmaking. There is a masked evil underneath what is marketed as an interpretive curiosity. "See how it all began," they promote. When watching, the filmmakers try to entice their audience with creepy music and the hope of a good scare. But it never happens. People are torn, beaten, hammered, sliced, and, of course, chainsawed to shreds in this picture. I don't find that scary or suspenseful. The movie focuses not on the teenagers and their fates, but instead on the brutal, ritualistic lifestyle of Leatherface and his gang. Don't be conned into thinking that this is a 'good' thrill simply depending on how you look at it.

I urge you to never watch this film or any others like it that I have been fortunate enough not to see. This movie was never amusing or engaging. It was never insightful or purposeful. It never had rhythm or pace. It was never scary and never suspenseful. It was merely depressing. I made it through about two-thirds of the film before I turned it off and walked away, feeling half as spirited, and twice as dumb.

Other guilty films: Stigmata, Rent

**Thank you for reading all or parts of my series on the subject. I hope that all movie lovers start, or continue, to look beyond the surface of the screen, valuing your time and placing it in films that deserve it.**

Do you like this review?

Comments (26)

  1. moviegeek

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx my pleasure heh.

    12 months agoby @moviegeekFlag

  2. XxNickTheFilmCriticXx

    @moviegeek -- Lol, all right.

    I'm pretty open-minded, so I'll give nearly anything a try(movie wise, ha-ha). Although, so it doesn't feel like a waste of time, it seems better to follow your advice. Thanks for the heads up !

    12 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  3. moviegeek

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx no don't!! lol. Unless you have trouble sleeping... then, by all means, check it out. Instant remedy.

    12 months agoby @moviegeekFlag

  4. XxNickTheFilmCriticXx

    @moviegeek -- Really ? To each his own... I have yet to see Peggy Sue Got Married. I'll look for that one.

    12 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  5. moviegeek

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx Ahh.. Well I actually really like that movie haha. I'm a sucker for overblown epic-style films. But I can totally see why some people would find it boring. I think the most boring film I've ever seen was Peggy Sue Got Married, but I've seen many dozers...

    12 months agoby @moviegeekFlag

  6. XxNickTheFilmCriticXx

    @moviegeek -- Yes ! First off, the pacing. The movie felt like it was 5-hours. I watched an hour and boy, was it a LONG-hour. Only to find out that I've got an 1 and a half to go. I winded up fast-forwarding and playing on parts, just to get exactly what was happening.

    I've never done that before, I am always open-minded and just sit through it, no matter how bad it is. The acting wasn't very good, the chemistry was odd, I can't really say anything more about it. The pacing is the one that really killed it. A lot of the scenes felt pointless, instead of pulling us in the story, it only managed to bored me half-to-death.

    Maybe, just maybe, one day, I will revisit this sh** of a film, and face it as a whole. As for now, I will proclaim it to be the most-boring movie I have ever seen and probably ever will see. It rewarded me with nothing and so I will give it nothing in return. (P.S: I have watched 'The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford' which a lot of people considered one-of-the-most boring films ever, while slow, the film captivated us with outstanding-acting, beautiful cinematography, and a compelling story).

    12 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  7. moviegeek

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx Australia with Jackman and Kidman...?

    12 months agoby @moviegeekFlag

  8. XxNickTheFilmCriticXx

    @moviegeek -- Good review, bad film. I've seen a movie that kinda did the same to me, only thing is, I watched __________ four-different times because of the length, pace, and overall tone.

    I'd like for you to guess the picture. It is set in Australia and stars Australian actors. I will then go into further detail on how much I loathe it.

    12 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  9. Dan

    Ha, that article on the remake reminded me of this review. I did enjoy the first one, but this was just crud.

    1 year agoby @dan1Flag

  10. moviegeek

    Adios!

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  11. Diaigma

    The amount of words you pump out, you could ;)
    Speaking of which, I have to work on it now.
    I'll check back later

    2 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  12. moviegeek

    Is that a challenge? :D haha jk

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  13. moviegeek

    But, as I mentioned several times to you before, I'm also not simoltaneously writing a book :P

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  14. Dan

    You haven't seen anything yet. Once I really get into a groove, I'll be pumping them out like clockwork.

    2 years agoby @dan1Flag

  15. Diaigma

    o.o . . . lordy . . . :P

    2 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  16. moviegeek

    I have like 5 reviews on my computer that have been waiting to be posted until this series was done :P

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  17. Diaigma

    Same here. Just doing those recent 3 reviewed me out :P

    2 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  18. moviegeek

    Maybe do a series on a director and an actor. I already have planned what series I want to do next; they're more fun to write than individual reviews. Another series won't be for a couple months at least though.

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  19. Dan

    I'm currently writing one as we speak.

    2 years agoby @dan1Flag

  20. Diaigma

    If I were to do another series, I don't know what theme I'd run with. In any case, good review of a movie I would never voluntarily see.

    2 years agoby @diaigmaFlag

  21. moviegeek

    Great! I look forward to it.

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  22. Dan

    This movie truly was garbage. Nice conclusion to your series. I've thought about doing a movie review series, myself. You'll see it when I start writing it :)

    2 years agoby @dan1Flag

  23. moviegeek

    Haha, I'll change that just because I'm a perfectionist.

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  24. The Soylent Green Monkey

    I'll check that out.

    He played the Sheriff in both Texas Chainsaw remakes and the Drill Sergeant in Full Metal Jacket. Great, great actor.

    Also, it's Leatherface. Not Leatherhead. lol

    2 years agoby @soylentgreen2Flag

  25. moviegeek

    I don't know who that is :p

    Rent is a revolting film. I have a review of it on MW.

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  26. The Soylent Green Monkey

    Very well written. I must say that I like ONE thing about this flick: R. Lee Ermey as the Sheriff. He is always awesome.

    And Rent?

    2 years agoby @soylentgreen2Flag