The Garbage Pail Kids Movie: Review By Monkeyiron 2.0

Ok I'm sorry i had to tell you this but there is a more horrible movie than the Twilight series, Superman Returns, Zookeeper, Jack and Jill, The Spy Next Door, Diaster Movie, Ang Lee's Hulk, The Losers, Spread or Boy toy, Splice, Jonah Hex, The Last Airbender,Knight and Day, Friends with Benefits, The Back-Up Plan, When In Rome, Rv, The Spirit, Garfield: Tail of Two Kitties, The Warrior's Way, Max Payne, Green Lantern, Bewitched and Street Fighter Rise of Chun-Lee, The Karate Dog, Little Fockers, Meet The Parents and Meet the Fockers and every romantic comedy with the same plot (Minus Knocked Up and The 40 year old virgin and Date Night) and Etc. But No!!!! there is a even more f*cking horrible movie and it's called "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" and for some who don't know the garbage pail kids is a series of parodies of The cabbage-patch kids and have gross names based on their appearance or ability (Messie Tessie who sneezies and always has a runny nose, Nat Nerd a wannabe superhero nerd, Max Axe a boy whose a serial killer and last but not least Valire Vomit and etc.) Somehow MgM saw it as movie worthy and got a director, a cast, and costume design done by a rip off wannabe Jim Henson douche who did the costume and it's released in the 80's or 90's and the movie is crowned as one of the worst movie of all time by countless of people and critics and the movie didn't do well at the box office at that time!!. So how did I found out bout this movie well on Spill.com I was searching a movie and "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" and I admit I was curious so I searched up a trailer of the movie and I admit i chuckled during it like 2 times and I searched it on Wikipedia and It was under and as well on top of the list and I said "It can't be that bad" Flash Forward 2 weeks on Netflix on Xbox Live and I was curious so I watched and...........................I'm sorry but i got to revert to the old me.............................IT WAS SO F*CKING STUPID I MEAN WAY WASTE PERCIOUS F*CKING TIME AND MONEY ON THIS C*CKSUCKING MOVIE I MEAN WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEONE SPEND THEIR F*CKING MONEY ON THIS STUPID MOVIE...NO WONDER MGM IS BARELY KNOWN IN MODERN TIMES BECAUSE THEY MAKE CRAPPY MOVIES LIKE THIS STUPID F*CKING SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...............Sorry Sorry I just had to tell you it sucked that much

The movie is about ( again This is sh*t movie) a young boy name Dodger (whose parents or guardians is never seen or heard of) is constanly bullied by thugs and I mean thugs because these mutha f*ckas are f*cking looks like their in their early 20's and they are picking on a f*cking 12 or 11 yr old boy!! and the main guy Juice is bullying him because he's feels threaten by him because Dodger has an crush (A stalker like crush because each time Dodger is around this girl he smells her hair) Tangerine (Tangerine Juice get it) and some how They open a garbage Pail which realease the title characters (which is stupid because one of them popped out in the begining of the movie) and the characters are ALI Gator the would be leader of the gang who is a animorphic mutant Aligator who as a taste for human flesh, Greaser Greg a wannabe thug/greaser from the 60's like Juice and his gangs, Messie Tessie like I said before Messie Tessie a girl who a constantly running nose, Fowl Phil a baby with a strange ordor, Windy Winston a boy with the ability to fart violently on command, Valrie Vomit a girl who vomits on command or a simple punch in the stomach and Nat Nerd a boy whose pees his pants on command. So let me say it......f*ck it let's skip to the mutha f*cking review shall we

The Plot/Storyline is.......well there isn't no storyline because the movie makes no sense I mean had the basic plot boy who has no friends and gets bullied constantly, meets friends that are weird or freaky and learns some type of lesson but no this movie f*cked that plot up or lesson at all. The movie even has a sub-plot(s) 1.)A trashcan that bares resemblance too the kids pail but the movie never explain are the kids aliens because the pail looks just the same . 2.) Dodger obbsessive crush on Tangerine 3.) The Kids sewing ability which Tangerine sees this as her advantage and 4.) the other garbage pail kids who is the title characters suppose "FRIENDS" Vomit, Tessie and Winston said are Banna Anna and Ultra Violet who are taken by the movies secondary villains "The State Home For The Ugly" and the movie never answeres most of these plots which then clouds the suppose main plot because these plots were not need . The movie was rated "G" or "Pg" like it f*cking matters because it's a kids movie right? well the answer to your question is NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because The character Greaser Greg has a pocket knife to threaten to stabb or kill someone and often will sexuallly harrass the other female characters, The kids steal a Pepsi Truck, The Kids going to bar literally dubbed "The Toughest Bar in the world" where there at least two people in the bar smoking a joint not no cigar bitch a f*cking joint and the bikers literally let the two of the garbage pail kids drink beer because "They prove that they are tough" and as well at the climax where the kids and Dodger get their revenge on Tangerine and Juice and his gang where the kids litterally rip off the models clothes and revealing a bikini and barely naked women. The movie has a couple musical moments form the 80's but the musical moment comes from the Garbage pail kids singing horribly and the animatronics do not help them because their lip syncing was way off.

The acting is so f*cking atroish and I hate to revert back to the old me but damn it..............IT'S NO F*CKING ACTING TO THE POINT NO ONE IN THIS MOVIE SHOULD BE F*CKING ACTING BECAUSE THIS MOVIE IS STUPID.....sorry but I agree with my old self because this movie never had an good performance and each form a dialouge makes no sense I mean I almost have to give them some sort of credit for making a villain you hate wish is Juice because he constantly beats up Dodger knowing he's is older than him and you do root for Dodger to beat the living f*ck out of him. The only some shred of acting is at the rising action when you see Dodger cry his poor little heart out when he find out that Juice took the kids to the state home of the ugly and at that moment You feel that he really cares about the kids. The voice acting is the same of the real acting boring, unbelieveble, stale and down right stupid and no i do not give them credit because we have voice actor heavy wieght Jim C*mmings he's one of my favorite voice actors and see him doing voices for Nat Nerd and Greaser Greg is some sort of breaking my heart because I could understand that he was a rising actor around that time period but damn why would he be in a movie where his character(s) is a sterotypical greaser and a f*cking kid that pees his pants He would've said no but like i said before He was probably a rising voice actor at the time so he was probably doing it for the money.

The costume desing used for the movie was horrible and I do mean horrible. I mean the Animatronics never work well talking very slowy and the eye movements are some times come up as crossed eyed.

The score is a horrible re-harsh of Beverly Hill Cop and act as a musical with certain modern day time around that year but the musical moment comes from the Garbage pail kids singing horribly and the animatronics do not help them because their lip syncing was way off.

The humor is disgusting because it has running gags dealing with Greg being greaser or a prevert, Winston constanly farting, Ali craving for human toes, Valrie's being a wannabe slut, Tessie contatly sneezing, Fowl Phil Asking each character or extra if their his "mommy" or "daddy" and Nat Nerd being constantly i mean they kept poking fun at him peeing it's like they said "Ok we have no other jokes so let make him pee his pants'' but no none of this were funny just annoying and stupid

The Movie has ALOT of f*cking flaws and I'm gonna tell you but if you see "Monkeyiron no spoiler warning" will no there's no spoiler warning because it does not need no warnings so shut the f*ck up and listen

1.)The subplots which makes the movie a even much more of a sh*t hole

2.)Dodger not having a parent or guardian figure and the movie never shows him going to school and the movie drop hints that Dodger lives with his boss and the kids owner Captain Manzini

3.)Juice and his gang are look like they are in their early 20's and are picking and beating up on a kid that is 12 or 11years old

4.)Tangerine being some sort of a pedophile whor* because she takes off her shirt in front of Dodger (No boobs guys so put it back in your pants) and sucking on Dodger's neck.

5.)The poor animatronics and costume design

6.)The Poor writing and direction

7.)The Movie in the begining show the pail that bares a strong reseblenece to the title character's can and the can slowly lands in the shop and the thruster's on the can disapper and you ask yourself is the kids aliens but then Manzini says they need to use a spell to seal the kids back up in the pail but then you ask yourself again are these kids from another dimension and the movie never answers these question

8.)The Movie not being kid friendly even though having a ''Pg'' or ''G'' rating

9.)No source of any realism of any kind for example the move had "State Home for the ugly" and you catch a small glimpse of Santa Clause and Abraham Lincoln being held up because Lincoln is derclared too skinny and Santa is too fat.

I'm telling you do not see this movie and if you do I'd warned you to avoid this movie because this movie is truly stupid and no need to see it so like the old me would do to point out a really crappy movie......F*CK THIS CRAPPY ASS MOVIE MAN THIS PIECE OF F*CKING SH*T DO NOT WASTE YOUR F*CKING YOUR TIME ON THIS C*M EATING BITCH ASS MOVIE AND IF YOU DO YOU'LL FELL REAL F*CKING RETARDED THAT IT WASTED IT YOUR TIME IN TOOK AWYA YOUR F*CKING INTELLEGENCE F*CK THIS MOVIE RIGHT UP IT'S STUPID ASS BECAUSE IT'S A C*CK SUCKING MEAT MUNCHING MOVIE WITH NO F*CKING REASON TO BE MADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!