Super Troopers: Review By B. Alan Orange

Code Orange Alert #38297: Broken Lizard's Super Troopers

(Despite the constant influx (3891 and counting) of email (agentorange@movieweb.com) regarding and disputing my review of this film, I stand by it. I mean, what the Firpo? I don't claim it as dog sh*t. I just don't see it as the classic you all claim it to be. I'd say "Sue Me", but Matt Pillsbury actually went through the legal process of trying to do that. He didn't win. I've got Webmaster B. as a lawyer.)

Super Trooper was a jay-walking disco song that rocked about as hard as a masochist on horse tranquilizers. It's not to be confused with Super Snooper, the amazingly prolific theme song to Super Fuzz, preformed by The Oceans. That film was a cinematic bastion of brilliance in the Italian thematic landscape. Sergio Corbucci proved himself king of the spaghetti comic book hero cop western, shoving those aurally inviting antics of an untested Terence Hill right into our left eye without conviction. That Ernest Borgnine was an urgent live wire in the mix makes Super Fuzz one of the top ten most overlooked films of the early eighties (where's my Super Fuzz DVD?). Those walking into Broken Lizard's Super Troopers expecting to find its equal will be livid. Nothing turns bright red and radiates the mind quite like Borgy stating, "I will dance like Fred Astair."

Broken Lizard fail at providing any type of out-of-body experience. For the rest of the World's population, who have no idea what I'm talking about, Super Troopers will appear as an often funny stockpile of unforeseeable jokes that sadly manages to erect only a few hardcore laughs. It's another smooth transaction in a decade long wake of mediocre comedy. It's no superior officer, nor is it a rookie team player. It's an okay couple of minutes at the multiplex that will leave you smiling, even though it never reaches the classic status of a Cheech and Chong or a Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Considering the past couple of years, it does, however, hold some potential.

Who are Broken Lizard? I have no clue. Unfortunately, I'm out of the loop on this one. I've never heard of 'em. Nor, do I recognize them. They are a group of five men from Colgate who've formed a so-so comedy troupe. They've made one other movie that played on an American-wide College campus tour, and it's neither available on VHS or DVD. It was called Puddle Cruiser, and it dealt with lacrosse, school court, and a vicious love triangle; three immediate party staples of the Frat House set. I've never seen it. IMDB relates the info that, "If you liked Puddle Cruiser, you'll love Patch Adams." That statement alone makes me fear and loathe Broken Lizard's first installment without having inched forth in the comfort of its sugar wallet. But then, on a similar note, IMDB also informs me that, "If I liked Super Troopers, I'll love Jiggs & Maggie in Jackpot Jitters." What the f*ck is that, and how did I miss it? Oh, it was tossed off late in the summer of '49. That's a movie I must see on title alone. How it relates to Super Troopers is beyond my five-finger method. At this point, I'm thinking the people in charge of distributing paragraphs at the Database are on one. I know the crazy, wacky guys of Broken Lizard are.

Broken Lizard's mascot is an Afghani Chimp peeling back a banana peel to expose his erect penis. It looks to be squirting flavorful daiquiris in a c*m shot of excitement. If that hasn't scared you off, don't worry. The rest of the film fails at being as prolific. It does manage to give us a Jihad Monkey jerking-off in the face of the Taliban: A box-art cartoon in Afghanimation that predates our War on Terrorism. Yeah, Super Troopers is a bit old. It premiered at last year's Sundance Film Festival, and is only now seeing the light of wide distribution exactly one year later. The funny thing is; you can feel the wear and tear of those twelve months in full view of its mockery.

Super Troopers focuses most of its energy on a war that's been brewing between the State Troopers and the local city police. Broken Lizard play these State Cops who are on the verge of being eradicated due to a low turn out of tickets. Basically, the script is a bunch of jokes churned out of late night think-tank sessions centered on what funny things these five guys could do if they were cops. It is made of legendary babble commonly interchanged between drunken college kids who have run out of interesting conversation topics. That some of these gags haven't been tested is proof that there are a number of untapped markets out there. I mean, who hasn't daydreamed of the wacky mind tricks one could pull on an unsuspecting motorist? Some of the jokes here are amusing. The opener's a kicker, but on a whole, this concept looses steam fairly quickly. It is not enough to substantiate a movie on unless you're willing to go all the way.

The best Broken Lizard comes up with is seeing how many times an Officer can say Meow when handing out a ticket. The team seems to know the understated lameness of this teaser, seeing as how they refer to it later in an amusing scene that plays like an actual discussion between cast members. Favra, an officer that has been kept out of the loop due to his inconsistent and brutal nature in the field, wants to play along. He offers some funny, if inappropriate, suggestions. Those suggestions are frowned upon, and he jumps all over the fact that the "Meow" gag is at best a low-level Kindergarten stunt. In my head, I can see this same exchange playing itself out on a rooftop before production, argued between cold beers and cast members.

Director Jay Chandrasekhar knows the film can not stand on its Authoritative mind trick shtick alone. He actually gives this concept over to a genuine, if somewhat soup-thin, plot premise about pot smuggling and corrupt city police. Super Troopers climbs and climbs to reach real movie status, and almost succeeds. Its production value is surprisingly crisp for a project that came out of nowhere, especially one supporting a bunch of unknowns. Of the five team players, its two standouts are Jay and Kevin Heffernan, who plays the affirmable Favra. Chandrasekhar as Thorny seems to be the lead. Maybe he's given himself the best material to play with. That's a rather selfish act. Heffernan, as a perpetually angery State Trooper, all but steals the show with his ass-showing exploits. The film's funniest moment comes when he goes through the usual susp*cions associated with being a cop in a fast food restaurant.

The other three guys are faceless, a notion Chandrasekhar might have succ*mb too had he not played off his "Brown Pride". Erik Stolhanske is remembered only for his name, Rabbit. And I'm not sure which of these lucky bastards got to nail Marisa Coughlan in the back of a cruiser. It could have been Steve Lemme just as easily as it could have been Paul Soter. You might remember Coughlan as the wheelchair-bound blowjob hound from Freddy Got Fingered. Chances are, you didn't sit through enough of that film to see her beautiful, chipmunk face. The good news is: You'll stay strapped for the duration of this pleasant, if somewhat bland, hour eater.

Super Troopers' affirmation hovers at College Stoner Friendly (CSF). The film plays at being dumb-smart, a colloquial mix that throws off its balance. You come away unsatisfied, wanting more, thinking to yourself, "Gee, I could do a few clever things if I were a cop." It has a built-in seat which will most likely be occupied late at night in a hazy dorm room that smells like wafts of Surf detergent (if you know what I mean, then by all means, this is the movie for you). The rest of us commoners will probably shrug it off. No harm, no foul. I will say, "Nice try, guys." I'm betting money on the follow-up races: I can almost guarantee their third film will be the charm.

Don't you just love that Marisa Coughlan?

Just a little bit.

Nah?

Okay, maybe just a little?