'Snow White and the Huntsman' Review By Dan

A nice looking misfire
  • OVERALL
    2.0
    POOR
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Director: Rupert Sanders

Cast: Kristin Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Sam Claflin, and a bunch of other people...

(Full spoilers)

Alright, I saw Snow White and the Huntsman this morning...

For a debut film, Rupert Sanders did alright. Because it was his first movie, I forgave some of the hamminess. But they really should have used a different actress. Kristin Stewart simply sucks. The entire movie, I kept waiting to see if she'd step up and give me something more than that slightly open mouth emotionless look, but it never happened. I guffawed when she gave her supposed "rousing speech" that suddenly broke everyone's funk. She stumbled before even beginning, and totally ruined it. Still amused by that.

Another one of my complaints leaving the theater was the lack of the troll. I was expecting some epic fight, but instead that sequence was over in about 2-3 minutes and forgotten. However, props to Kristin for knowing how to deal with trolls, you don't fight or give in to them, you simply remain stone faced and mute, and eventually they give up :P

Visually, it's as glossy as a Super Bowl commercial. The aforementioned troll is rendered nicely, and Kristin's initial venture into the Dark Forest is one trippy sequence. Between that and the sanctuary scene, this movie would probably have you freaking out if you were stoned. The visuals and music were certainly the highlights here. All gloss, little substance. And speaking of the sanctuary scene, I could not help but think of Princess Mononoke. Seriously, they literally took the idea of the stag/Forest Spirit, and injected it into a live action film. Too bad even pulling ideas from the Godfather of anime didn't really help the film in the end, though.

The most irritating thing about SWATH is that it's loaded with talented actors (minus Stewart), and you can sense them trying to work with what they're given (particularly Theron), but it still fell very short of what it could have been. This was especially apparent during the "rousing speech", and the very end when Stewart is crowned and you think she's gonna give another "rousing speech", but nope, nothing even then. There were also plenty of characters who came in and out of the story that you hardly cared about (such as the other girl who gets locked in the tower, or the village of only women who purposely scar themselves so Ravenna leaves them alone). I hate filler characters like that...

Some things were intriguing in a twisted, Brothers Grimm way. The relationship between Ravenna and her brother seemed almost incestuous at times (something I've grown used to, thanks to Game of Thrones. Pretty sure that's not healthy...). There is a segment where Ravenna pretends to be the prince, and Stewart kisses her/him that was kinda kinky to think about afterwards. Perhaps if the film had played more with these kind of wild ideas, I would have given it a higher rating and forgiven it some more.. It's like John Travolta says in Swordfish... it didn't push the envelope.

My verdict is that it was a very visually arresting misfire that featured acting that was either obnoxiously over the top, or completely underwhelming, save for maybe Chris Hemsworth and Bob Hoskins (one of the vastly under-used dwarves), who were about middle of the road and seemed out of place unfortunately because of that. The story wraps up entirely too neatly with questions unanswered and ideas played with and then ignored, but then you're treated to Florence+ The Machine (excellent) during the credits, so you feel slightly conflicted to stand up and say "sucked".

Rent it.

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Comments (14)

  1. THE JOKER

    @dan1 Hilarious and very valid review! I agree with everything you said!

    2 years agoby @mcleve02Flag

  2. Zak Lee Ferguson

    maybe its my aflixtion for big brassy balls out grit and dirt and man hair @dan1 but it was average :)

    2 years agoby @Zak-Lee-FergusonFlag

  3. Zak Lee Ferguson

    disagree on many fronts! But still a good honest fresh review!

    2 years agoby @Zak-Lee-FergusonFlag

  4. moviegeek

    Did you think Theron overdid it? Because that's what I felt and everyone else is just showering her with praise. I mean, yea, at least she's going for it unlike Stewart, but just seemed to be trying too hard.

    Awesome review, btw.

    2 years agoby @moviegeekFlag

  5. Dan

    @mr-eighty8 Good idea. And @thedude-abides must be putting the word out on my review, since I know you guys are buds. Props to him for that.

    @narrator It helped that I was dead tired when I wrote this, for whatever reason, when I'm exhausted, that's when I'm at my funniest, or so I'm told.

    2 years agoby @dan1Flag

  6. the Narrator

    @dan1 - Fantastic review. I actually laughed out loud a few times picturing what you described, and absentmindedly nodded my head to a few points you made that I suspected would hamper the film. Nice, short, humorous, and tempered review/rant. Hope you do more like it.

    2 years agoby @narratorFlag

  7. Mr_Eighty8

    I've heard many of the same remarks regarding her speech at the end. It's making me very curious as to what and how it was delivered. I kinda wanna see it... thus begins the 10 month countdown to the HBO Saturday Night premiere. I'll keep my 10 bucks thank you very much.

    2 years agoby @mr-eighty8Flag

  8. Dan

    @thedude-abides Yeah, from what I read, 3rd place sounds about right. Which I'm absolutely okay with.

    @ROFLitschristian Yep.

    @kguy How could you not?

    2 years agoby @dan1Flag

  9. K.Guy

    @dan1 I thought about Princess Mononoke, too! XD When I saw that creature, I said "c'mon walk on that water, I dare you!"

    2 years agoby @kguyFlag

  10. ROFLitschristian

    @dan1 You like Florence + The Machine? I love you.

    2 years agoby @ROFLitschristianFlag

  11. thedude-abides

    @dan1 Oh, I'm sure. It's like we talked about before, Prometheus may not be the classic Aliens 1 & 2 are, but for it to be in the mix as the third best in the franchise (and not by default) says a lot about its potential to be very good...

    2 years agoby @thedude-abidesFlag

  12. Corey W.

    @dan1 Excellent review, man. One of your best. Great humor, structure, just an all-around awesome read. This wasn't the epic I was expecting, but I still enjoyed it. Expect my review up by the end of the night :)

    2 years agoby @coreyFlag

  13. Dan

    @thedude-abides Yep. And the reviews for Prometheus sound a lot more upbeat.

    2 years agoby @dan1Flag

  14. thedude-abides

    @dan1 Lol at the last line. Great review. I heard many of the same complaints with this one that you had -- especially the ending where she says nothing. Oh well, at least we got Prometheus to look forward to next week.

    2 years agoby @thedude-abidesFlag