Prometheus: Review By Tincage

Spoiler Free Zone:

Of the Filmmakers who made the late-70's early 80's such a woderful, arguably the best time to be a sci-fi movie lover; Lucas, Spielberg, Cameron and Scott. He was the only one who hadn't returned to the genre after Jurassic Park and the 'digital revolution' He DID use the canvas the technology offered to great effect with Gladiator and Kingdom of Heaven.

I felt that this could have been something very special, so I avoided all trailers, all commercials, and every article on the internet about Prometheus. Before movies, like Avengers my friends would warn me if the trailer for Prometheus was coming on; I'd close my eyes, and plug my ears. I wanted zero spoilers. Though I'm satisfied with having done that, and will, possibly from now on, avoid as much material as possible in advance of a movie, Prometheus was disappointing. This past week, my kids, one of them for the first time, and I have been watching the Extended Blu-Rays of Lord of the Rings, and I was thinking about the Rankin and Bass Animated Return of the King, and how the difference in how the story was told affected the reception. Are all legitimate stories good? Do stories just need to be told well? And Prometheus answered. The story is told WONDERFULLY. But, it's a crap story, one, that should you put any thought to while your hand hunts for your car keys upon exiting the theater, will have you hating this movie.

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I'm going to assume you've seen the movie...

So, we find some cave paintings... and how exactly do some dots convey the exact coordinates of a star system in a galaxy? So, my main characters are kooks from the History channel?

So in Alien, we have this 'truckers in space' feel to the crew of the Nostromo! Great! Space travel is pedestrian. Same here, but with the exception of the founder of the company and his daughter are BOTH on board, somehow the old man is there secretly, fine, but the crew is sc*mmy space truckers. NO. If I'm spending a TRILLION dollars (even if a Big Mac costs a $1000) I'm wanting the best crew that Trillion bucks can buy. Why cheap out on the people running the mission? Never mind, this movie cheaped out on the script...

So, a gazillionaire desperate to not die spends a fortune on everything but a crew to grant the wishes of two pseudoscientific loonies who majored in Erich von Däniken and called it academics. They go to LV-223 or Zeta Reticuli according to Ridley Scott. Yup, that one, the one UFOlogists say is the home of the greys.

Now, I'd probably LOVE, Honestly LOVE a Däniken/Ufology movie exactly like this IF... everything subsequent to their discoveries, is just a feeble attempt to say to you "Look, they're on LV 426!" The departure into the "The Thing" Prequel /Remake territory is ruinous to everything here. To have all of this tease needlessly fills in the places where there was no story.

I loved David. I loved, really loved his affection and emulation of Peter O'Toole's Lawrence. I loved the visuals, the score.

I even forgave the numerous (1 or more per scene) lifts and swipes from the past 30 years of Sci-Fi.

But this falls apart. I've been typing to long, and need to cook dinner at some point...

Oh, on the 'Why do they want to kill us' "This isn't their home, it's a weapon's storage facility' Then why would they tell the natives on several trips over THOUSANDS of years, where the WEAPONS FACILITY was? This movie isn't highbrow, it's assuming I'm not even paying attention!

As for the experiment; After coming home from the movie, I watched the trailer, and the HBO First Look. I can't imagine how anyone who had seen those, or even just the trailer did not feel completely robbed by this movie. At least every moment was fresh for me.