Postal: Review By The CryptKeeper

Aug 19th, 2009 by The CryptKeeper
Just plain and simple- Gay.
  • OVERALL
    0.0
    HORRIBLE
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Alright, before I start my review for this garbage, let me say that I actually feel sorry for Uwe Boll. I'm in agreement his movies are no good. BUT look at all the movies he has. You may think it's a bad thing that stuff like that is out there, but I think it's good. This guy obviously has a passion for movie-making, so let hium pursue it, and do whatever he loves. It's obvious he doesn't to it for money, because 99.99% of his movies don't even do that great at the box office. However, Uwe, please make movies that aren't just totally f*cking gay. I enjoy a nice, MILDLY crude comedy every now and then, if it's done a certiant way. But this sh*t... Ugh, MILD... That's a word never intended for this movie. Not just in crude humor, either.

So, now to trashing the movie. This is the gayest sh*t ever, and if you like it, you're either a very sick person, or a homo. Not only is the film extremely unfunny, but It made me sick, and depressed. Examples of gayness (do not read if you're like me and hate gay sh*t)- A minute long scene of male nudity, but barely any boobs. Hell, I saw this movie so long ago, I don't even remember any boobs, but I have it written down here that there was, so I guess they're were. This shows how little boobs there were, cause I remember stuff like that :) . Then you got Vern Troyer getting raped by monkeys, dolls shaped like weiners (Yes, they were dolls for kids, not something women use in their free time. I'm not that dumb). And a fat girl that... I don't even want to know why, but she had guys lining up, and the sex scenes were really- Oh, nope, I'm not wasting any more time of my life of this review. Screw it.

This movie is just sh*t, sorry, Uwe Boll!

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Comments (4)

  1. The Cryptkeeper

    Well, Yentz, that Rampage sounds good. lol, and Seed was terrible. And that footage of the animals being slaughteded, I heard that was real. Who does that? What a freak. and a big LOL on the "screw it" part.

    Thanks, rlt9009, ans I feel sorry for you, 313td.

    3 years agoby @americanpsychoFlag

  2. 313td

    Sorry to admit it but I picked this one up too.And yes,it was a big peace of sh*t.lol

    3 years agoby @313tdFlag

  3. Rlt9009

    Good review. From watching the trailer this movie looked like a waste of time and money to make.

    3 years agoby @rlt9009Flag

  4. Bryan Yentz

    Haha, this movie was... Well, it was Uwe Boll what can I say. At least with this one, Uwe was making fun of himself for being a complete hack. And I love Dave Foley, but the nudity... Geez... Can't say seeing his dick was one my to-do list... And actually, as far as the money thing goes, Uwe actually gets a big tax write off for his films--that's how he's able to keep making them. In Germany, they have some rule that if you're doing it for their country/in their country then--as I said--you can write it off. That's how Uwe is self-financed via his company "Boll KG". His movies are just stupid, mindless and entertaining because of how unfathomably bad they are (on the commentary of House of the Dead he talks about getting free food and Starbuck's coffee for practically ten minutes). Though recently he's been striking back towards bad press with the unrepentantly violent "Seed" and the upcoming "Rampage" in which a young man (who's been in a few of his movies already) dons what appears to be SWAT gear and a paintball mask along with various weapons, and goes on a... Well, rampage, killing every man woman and child in sight. Yeah... And he's got a film adaption of Far Cry... Because people cared to see it in movie form... I like how you ended it too, Crypt... "Screw it." Right to the point, man. I think that's what Uwe says every time he begins production on a film... Or reaches a plot hole... Or a technical aspect... Or...

    3 years agoby @bryanyentzFlag