Miss March: Critic Reviews

Anyone who goes to see Miss March hoping for a voyeuristic, '80-flavored T&A smutfest will be sorely disappointed.

The problem with Miss March is that it isn't very funny.

A whiff of what I can only describe as pure evil billows off the screen while this comedy is playing: a buddy grossout picture with zero laughs and a persistent, chilling misogyny.

The movie's aiming for the drunken college crowd but most of the gags have the nervous, giggly idiocy of two middle-school kids flipping through dad's Playboy.

Hugh Hefner shows up to give an addled lecture after Eugene and Tucker make it to the Playboy Mansion, and you think: Wasn't it just last summer that he so sweetly played himself in The House Bunny?

When it comes time to wheel Hefner out for his cameo, even he seems irritated by these guys.

The showpiece gags range from the stale to the grotesque.

Overall a raggedy, unfocused affair that wastes both directors' acting talent and feels like too much work between the laughs.

My blood runs cold at the memory of Miss March, a 90-minute rip-off of the J. Geils Band song Centerfold whose multi-hyphenate creators prove themselves actor-director-writer-failures.

This Playboy fantasy farce is one of those painful comedies in which the strain to be funny shows -- always.

Miss March is, to use the vernacular of the escapist moviegoer, the biggest pile of crap I've seen in ages.

Forget waterboarding -- just show Guantanamo detainees Miss March and they'll say anything.

Forget March, this one misses by a mile.

The funniest thing about the monumentally stupid anti-comedy Miss March is that somehow the producers convinced Playboy to sign off on the thing.

The movie's over-use of poop and pee is further evidence of its desperation.

At its best, this lewder, cruder spin on last year's "Sex Drive" has a disarmingly daffy shaggy-dog touch a la "Half-Baked" or "The Brothers Solomon." But by the time a woman enjoys champagne spiked with dog urine, "Miss March" is all turn-offs.

Some of the lewdest, unfunniest jokes ever made, and at the end one feels in need of a stiff drink, a hot shower and a lesson in selective amnesia.

This "comedy" might be the Worst Movie Ever Seen, even with the aftershock of the Wayans Bros' Dance Flick still lingering.

If this film were as racist as it is sexist (which it very nearly is), it would be a buddy movie about the madcap antics of two Klan members on a lynching spree. Appalling. If we could give it zero out of five, we would.

Nothing works. Nothing comes close to working. Even other people's ideas that work in their own films don't work here.

So moronic that even plankton would tut at its ignorance.

Pure eye-poking, boob-baring raunch that will tickle your inner idiot and wind up everyone else something rotten.

A teen sex comedy that isn't sexy or comic - talk about dumb and dumber...

An almost perfect atrocity. It is a towering K2 of bobbins... the most mangy, noxious, charmless, sexist, racist, unfunny, infantile, stomach-turning, grotesque, clueless, inept and stupid film of the year.

Cregger is so dull that it might be an improvement if he slipped back into a coma.