We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us!
Machete's story is simple enough. Danny Trejo's character is picked up and asked to take out a senator (Robert DeNiro), but is double crossed in the process. Meanwhile, Jessica Alba (who is sooooo smokin' hot in this it isn't funny) is an ICE agent with a special interest in Machete.
I think what I enjoyed most is that this is just a good hard R movie. I grow tired of all the PG-13's out there, sometimes I need my violence fix, and Machete more than delivers. Heads, limbs roll every 15 minutes or so, to over-the-top goodness. There was more then a dozen times I was laughing and shaking my head at the absurdness of this movie, but enjoying the hell out of it at the same time.
There was only two disappointments I had with Machete. One, I thought Michelle Rodriguez's character would have more action time when she was She, and two, not enough naked Jessica Alba. Scarlett Johannson still takes the cake for me, but Alba is now a close 2nd.
Not a whole lot more to tell, as Machete isn't a deep thinking movie. It's not for the squeamish, or for families. This is really a guy movie, and I have to admit, I had a lot more fun with this than Expendables. I didn't care too much for the political pandering that is obvious, but its all light hearted, so that didn't bother me too much. Plus you get to see Lindsey Lohan naked and in an outrageous role, so not much argument there.
See this for your grindhouse fix, you won't be disappointed.