Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Review By NateMAN

May 22nd, 2008 by NateMAN
This movie makes me wanna kick Spielberg in his "crystal skulls"!
  • OVERALL
    3.0
    WORTHY
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
I waited 20 years for THIS??? By far the biggest disappointment of this, or any other year. Unlike "Alien vs Predator: Requiem" where we know the movie is going to be awful and expect it, with Indy 4 they had so many talented people come together and end up creating a total piece of crap.

The most disappointing part of it all is David Koepp's lame, ridiculous, out of this world (literally), cheese-ball filled script. It took them 20 years to story developing and rewrites to finish with this? It's so insane because Koepp has written some really good films. My brain just can't comprehend all of this.

The whole film felt rushed, half-assed, and pretty desperate. It almost seems like they made the entire film shooting for a release date and had to finish everything in time, something I’ve come to expect from films like “Poseidon”. I don't think I've ever been this angry at Hollywood in my entire life.

I mean, come on! I’d rather watch the Star Wars Prequels than have to sit through this again. Say what you will about Episode I, II, and III, sur they had plenty of problems but at least they were very entertaining. “Crystal Skull” is barely that! I was hardly entertained at all.

"Raiders of the Lost Ark" is my all time favorite movie ever! I think I'm going to have to watch it about 7 times in a row just to try and erase "Crystal Skull" from my eyes.

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Comments (11)

  1. Flrep07

    *SPOILERS*

    the whole movie in general was good. the only thing that was upsetting was the atomic bomb part, the "tarzan" part, and the ending of the UFOs. Still, it was a bit ridiculous and fictional, but there have been ideas about aliens connecting to Mayan history and what not. And like Indy said " their treasure was knowledge". cate blanchette's character wanted to know it all, so the alien let her, but by that she couldnt handle all that knowledge and exploded. the movie was far off from the other previous ones, but i believed it was not terrible, questionable yes, but not terrible.

    4 years agoby @flrep07Flag

  2. The Boondock Saint

    oooooooooooooooooooh.

    F*CKING GEORGE LUCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    4 years agoby @combatmadness360Flag

  3. renodc

    Spielberg did direct it, but that only means he took the written script and through the use of cameras, special effects, direction of actors, etc. turned that script into a live action film. The content of the script had little to do with Spielberg. George Lucas is the Executive Producer and ultimately calls all the shots. He didn't write the script to Indy 4, but he hired and fired several writers, including acclaimed screenwriter Frank Darabont, before ultimately getting what he wanted, which is what we saw on the screen.

    4 years agoby @renodcFlag

  4. The Narrator: The Better Man

    I agree with the due down under me. literally. I mean u had high hopes. For one point: neve have high hopes. Go hoping for the best, but expecting the worse so you won't be so dissapointed. 2: I would love to see you do something half that good in the time given. Okay. Three: The movie was good. Very indi like, and like slysnide said: it's a 50's "B" movie. It's not raiders of the lost ark. and 4: each indi movie has different styles if you haven't noticed. Temple of doom was very different from raidors, and last crusade(the best still) was not exactly like them either.. Theres action, adventue, woman, comedy, and bull whips with a few seconds of hat grabbing. Other than that they are not the same. This is after ww2. Everything was different then. So of course ur little mind would not understand it.

    4 years agoby @narratorFlag

  5. slysnide

    This was based off of '50s "B" movies. And it had good action sequences in it, but hell, it's the 21st Century, and that kind of technology comes with it. The film was still enjoyable. A helluva lot more fast paced than the others, and sure the new characters could've had some expansion on their roles, but you must remember that this isn't a '30s Saturday Matinee Serials type of film, but '50s "B" movie styled film. It makes a difference. Sure, I didn't like the UFO as much as the next guy, but can you be surprised????? It's a Mayan kingdom with crystal skulls in the plot! You'd have to be half assed yourself to not forsee those elements in the story! I mean WTF???? You had to have forseen this story's plot direction? Anyone with barely any knowledge about the skulls and Mayans would expect this.

    Plus, it plays like the originals. Just read my 4.5 review, and you may see what I mean.

    4 years agoby @slysnideFlag

  6. The Boondock Saint

    true, i didnt think of that, i thought spipelberg directed it

    4 years agoby @combatmadness360Flag

  7. renodc

    I disliked the aliens as much as you did, but I think attacking Spielberg may be an issue of shooting the messenger, when you should really be aiming your kick more in the direction of George Lucas's "crystal skulls".

    4 years agoby @renodcFlag

  8. The Boondock Saint

    this was a great film but...........................................seeing those aliens and UFO sh*t, well, it felt like steven spielberg just walked up 2 me and kiked me t=in the balls!!!!!

    4 years agoby @combatmadness360Flag

  9. The Boondock Saint

    this was a great film but...........................................seeing those aliens and UFO sh*t, well, it felt like steven spielberg just walked up 2 me and kiked me t=in the balls!!!!!

    4 years agoby @combatmadness360Flag

  10. K-Man

    Nateman I couldn't agree with you more. My review is coming tomorrow, but what you just said is word for word what I just said to my roommates. I have been looking forward to this for f*ckin YEARS, and this is what I got! F*ckin hell I'm as pissed as you are. I did not see this coming, ESPECIALLY not from Spielberg nor from a movie with the title Indiana Jones in it. Like I said, I will have my review up soon enough and I will share your sentiment. Oh and I'm the biggest Indiana Jones fan ever so dont think this is easy for me to say.

    4 years agoby @k-manFlag

  11. PUNISHER

    Not sure what Indiana Jones you saw but the one I saw was great. But I guess to each his own.

    4 years agoby @cerealkillerFlag