Never thought I'd see Freida Pinto's perfectly formed ass in 3D
Directed by: Tarsem Singh
Starring: Henry Cavill, Steven Dorff, Luke Evans, Isabelle Lucas, Kellan Lutz, Freida Pinto, John Hurt and Mickey Rourke.
The Heraklion King Hyperion seeks the Epirus Bow created by Ares to declare war against the Gods and release the Titans from Mount Tartarus.
The God's chose the right person, but They chose the wrong writers. Clearly this is truly the work of the producers from 300, no question about it. But alas I'm a sucker for war movies, especially when they take place in the days of the Greek Gods; my favorite subject. It is why I can't get enough of playing God of War...all three chapters. Gosh I hope that movie doesn't get made yet. I would love to take on such beast of an adaptation. Moving along...I wasn't keen on watching this movie in 3D at all from the get go, but sadly I read the showtimes on my phone incorrectly, and I only had the 3D showing to choose before I could go to work so, what the hell, it's only a few dollars more. And with a little extra in popcorn combos, the perfect setting for a moviegoer.
The first thing that threw me off was the young cast selection for the Gods. I mean, Kellan Lutz as Poseidon? Really? Ok. In fact, his role was quite minimal at best and served his role better just waving his trident around. The rest of the cast was tolerable and some worthy, but we'll get to them in a moment. Now, the entire point of the war lead by Rourke's character Hyperion, is to find the magical Epirus Bow, which, oddly enough disappears from importance once it's found. Sure, it did it's job working for Theseus favor killing four of Hyperion's henchmen and crumbling the fortified wall next to Mt. Tartarus. After that, it becomes nothing but a McGuffin, which if you don't know what it means, in film terms, is a plot element that drives the viewers attention yet we never really hear from it again afterwards.
In enter's Cavill playing the role of Theseus. Now, he makes short work of all his enemies until he fights Hyperion. Granted, all the action between his character and the bad guys had me reminisce the battles from 300, but even some of the Spartan's fell to their deaths. We know the hero is good with a sword and a spear, but I at times hate it when the lead role is too unbeatable. Which moves to the famous Maze where he fights against the Minotaur, played by the same hulk of a man that portrayed the giant Immortal from 300. I assume they would incorporate the wild beast, but I'm glad they made him into a giant man dressed as a bull; makes perfect sense.
I wish they would have chosen someone more menacing than Rourke for the role of Hyperion. The only time his character even looks evil is through his beetle costume. Even if he doesn't look evil, his character's actions sure are. Who would have though that to be one of his followers, you'd have to sacrifice the root of your seeds. The character is also without being a master at torture. The entire time viewing the giant bull statue had me set back. What was it? Purpose behind the low bellows? Or was it just a giant heater? Lo we reach the answer after seeing the three fake fortunetellers on the inside nearly dead. Wasn't expecting it but had me satisfied with the content.
Tarsem plays Immortals in his own way, but doesn't quite capture the visceral nature 300 provided. It does have brutal battles and one-on-one's between the main characters, but the Snyder's Spartans faired better as barbaric warriors. Now, Clash of the Titans (2009) may not be on everyone's favorite list of movie or preferred, but it's a guilty pleasure for me, and wasn't as bad as some say. Still, I enjoyed Immortals a little more. I mean, I actually got to see Titans in Immortals.
Henry Cavill: As pre-Clark Kent, we are spectators to an actor than is physically ready to take on any action role thrown into his plate which has me excited for what his Superman might look like in battle. He was pretty decent here as an actor but better in The Tudors. Hopefully his audition for Superman was great because I would love to see how he plays.
Mickey Rourke: Good physically action, and his acting was just ok. I think I only liked him in Expendables, The Wrestler and Iron Man 2.
Freida Pinto: Attractive but that's really all I can say.
Luke Evans: He played a pretty good Zeus. The sound effects added more to his character.
As I said, it has the work of 300 all over. Viewing the Gods battle against the Titans was the best part of the entire movie. The 3D works at times but makes the viewing a little darker when it came to the night scenes. Why can't theaters raise the lights a little in 3D shows? However, I never thought I'd see Freida Pinto's perfectly formed ass in 3D. The cinematography was on par and blended well with the surrounding or vice versa. The costumes for the Gods in the battle against the Titans were beautifully designed, and even made Luca's Athena more of a warrior than a beauty queen. The make up of the Titans made them look as vicious as their actions which had me content to say the least. The CGI blood was not overdone and looked cooler than I would have imagined. Finally, the sky battle of the Gods and the Titans in the heavens was by far creative and well, awesome.
Not much on story, good on action and great on the visuals. A good popcorn flick with friends.
Written by: Bawnian©-Dexeus.