I Hate Valentine's Day: Critic Reviews

A charmless rom-com about an exhaustingly vivacious florist.

You might blame Nora Ephron, whose screenplay for When Harry Met Sally established the formula that I Hate Valentine's Day runs into the ground. Compared with this, Ms. Ephron is Chekhov.

Nia Vardalos wrote, directed and stars in this clunky, unfunny and plodding mess. She doesn't write dialogue, she writes shtick. Her direction seems awkward and amateurish, her acting is more like mugging.

Vardalos calls her film "the ultimate indie experiment," and if that's what is meant by ham-fisted pacing, writing, and acting, this is as ultimate and as indie as it gets.

Given the inevitable response to this equally regrettable rom-com, she can expect to loathe Independence Day, too.

It's like eating a plain Hershey's bar on that supposedly most romantic day of the year. It may soothe your sweet tooth for a brief bit, but you'll still be longing for Godiva.

The movie is set up as a valentine to Vardalos. She should try sending herself flowers.

All I Hate Valentine's Day adds up to is an awkward, ritualized date between moviegoer and a still-learning triple hyphenate.

A plodding mediocrity with an almost mercenary adherence to formula.

What it lacks in laughs -- there are none -- it tries to make up for by ladling on stale cliches, such as Vardalos' two stereotypically gay assistants and a desperate younger female friend who stalks guys.

I Hate Valentine's Day is a horror show masquerading as a romantic comedy. Maybe Vardalos is just in the wrong line of work.

The strength of Vardalos' movies is that she loves all of her fellow actors and allows large ensembles to flourish.

A big fat Greek flop!

I found it to be really one note. This is not authentic modern courtship.

Uninspired romcom is no My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Everyone who's ever seen a movie knows where this is headed... but getting there is breezy, fun, and most importantly, well-executed.

For I Hate Valentine's Day, Vardalos has chosen to direct. And that's a mistake that only compounds the ones in her screenplay.

A contrived, juvenile and painfully unfunny romantic comedy.

An unspeakable nadir in the career of its writer-director-star, My Big Fat Greek Wedding's Nia Vardalos.

An indie romantic comedy even worse than most of the bigger-budgeted but almost invariably rotten Hollywood examples of the genre.

By the time the end credits hit, there's joy emerging not from the outcome of the Genevieve/Greg romantic tango, but the feeling of relief to know the film, and Vardalos's insipid direction, has finally come to a close.

Is it too pat to say I Hate This Movie? That's about the level of creative energy Vardalos applies to a film that manages to be every bit as bad as My Life in Ruins.

Put it this way: Children who see this film at an impressionable age risk inhibiting their social growth.

Vardalos doesn't write dialogue; she writes shtick...the whole thing is one long riff, with few laughs and an inevitable destination.