House on Haunted Hill: Review By kyle_hannah

No amount of Famke Janssen awesomeness can save this poor attempt at horror that spewed from Dark Castle pictures. This movie starts off very abruptly and just sort of speeds up what little character development there is so the house scenes get shown. The storyline is absolutely ridiculous which is good because it matches the equally ridiculous attempts at scaring an audience over 6 years of age.

There is nothing even remotely scary in this film at all the ghosts look very cheap and well nothing like a ghost one of them looks half woman half meal worm. Even the gore isn't enjoyable becaue this film suffers from jelly like blood disease which doesn't add to the realism of the movie however the movie has absolutely zero realism at all so i guess the blood effects were just blending in with all the other terrible things about this film.

The cast is actually solid i surprisingly had expectations due to Famke Janssen,Geoffery Rush,Ali Larter, and Taye Diggs but the film's terrible... well everything else ruined any chance of these actors to stand out. This movie is almost exactly like The Haunting (1999) big cast, lots of hype but an equally bad storyline and equally bad special effects. There is nothing terrifying about any CGI generated creature especially the CGI ghost thing in the end what was that supposed to be?Scary?Intense?It was neither just extremely over the top and extremely stupid.

This movie has absolutely no scares it tries to have them it really tries but... well when the freaky images aren't freaky and the music that's supposed to create suspense creates boredom the movie really is not a horror. This was like watching Clue the whole time i was waiting for someone to say "It was Evelyn in the library with the candlestick" and i would be less than shocked if that was in the script. Overall this piece of garbage should be burned it makes no sense and fits into no genre unless there is one for a bad attempt at a mystery/horror.