Hancock: Review By Phatlightning

Jul 1st, 2008 by Phatlightning
Kick him right in his piss pump.
  • OVERALL
    2.5
    WORTHY
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Ok, what in the hell was that. This movie started out very strong as a comedy and then flipped the script and became a serious love story. I'm rather disappointed.

The story hinges on a man with superhuman powers(i.e. flying, bulletproof) who doesnt know who he is nor why he is the way he is. During his alcoholic sole searching he tends to "solve" crimes in the most unpopular of ways, usually causing more problems then solving them. While saving the day he comes across an unlikely character, Ray (Jason Bateman).

Ray is a very poor public relations representative with an idea to change the world. He takes Hanc*ck under his wing and vows to change his alcoholic and clumbsy ways. They develop a bond together while Ray's wife, Mary(Charlize "Hot Ass" Theron) disapproves for reasons unknown.

*******SPOILERS BELOW***************

From the start you can tell there is some connection between Hanc*ck and Mary but it is rather unclear exactly what that is. We then find out, in an obvious c*ck block by Mary, that she is in fact the same as Hanc*ck, a superhero.

We find out that her and Hanc*ck are "Angels" or "Gods" that were made in pairs and they are the last two of there kind and are married nonetheless. When close to each other, both there powers start to waver and they begin turning mortal. This is what makes the movie confusing because there is no more backstory about how they became what they are.

The ending of the movie left a sour taste in my mouth. Upon being attacked in the hospital, both Mary and John suffer gun shot wounds that appeared to be fatal. John then gets up and realizes that in order to save Mary he had to get distance between them so there immortal powers come back. lame.

Anyway, everything turns out cool and everyone lives happily ever after, and the moon can apparently be painted. Then again it could have just been my eyes bleeding.

*******************************************

Will Smith did an awesome job with the role he was given, but the movie had no real direction once it got into it. The back story behind Hanc*ck was non existent, we learn a little but then are left with absolutely no explanation.

Directing was pretty weak but the visuals helped make up for that. I mean, for god sakes, the man was flying.

Overall this movie was good for a few laughs and the opportunity to undress Charlize with your eyes, because she certainly doesn't do it for us. So I would recommend you save your money and leave this one until it hids the DVD shelves.

Grade: C

Do you like this review?

Comments (33)

  1. xXx-RazorBlade-Romance-xXx

    hahaha excuse my past comments :P

    4 years agoby @loloFlag

  2. xXx-RazorBlade-Romance-xXx

    bitch f*ck you!

    4 years agoby @loloFlag

  3. The Lost Girl

    Good review and I agree with you on the ending. It was dissapointing. This movie was so blown up by the media as being the #1 summer blockbuster. Maybe I was too influenced by the barrage of advertising, but this movie to me, at least, didn't live up to the hype.

    4 years agoby @trinity7694Flag

  4. The Dark Knight

    fine its over
    HAHAHA jk

    4 years agoby @thedarkknight23Flag

  5. Radimus-83

    ok, seen Hanc*ck. it was alright, i understand what you mean now bout the back story. but i didn't really think you needed it, the movie moved at such a fast pace.

    was pissed off that they gave away Theron's big secret so early in the movie. like come on!! if you didn't catch on to their "chemistry" you must be blind or re-tar-ted!

    4 years agoby @radimus-83Flag

  6. T.Clark

    If ur mad bout me advertising myself on ur page, i didn't mean to insult u nor was i trying to get others to ignore ur review. If makes u feel better, u ARE more popular heh

    4 years agoby @insertusernamehereFlag

  7. T.Clark

    ...that hurt inside, phat :)

    4 years agoby @insertusernamehereFlag

  8. Marcusx

    DK, im dating the pool cleaner

    4 years agoby @marcusxFlag

  9. Radimus-83

    nice review phat,..... kinda left me feeling sh*tty though cause was supposed to go see this today!

    thanks for ruining my day,phat!!

    4 years agoby @radimus-83Flag

  10. The Dark Knight

    come on marcusx we can get thought this it can work just needs time don't divorce me
    Just kidding HAHAHAHAHA

    4 years agoby @thedarkknight23Flag

  11. Flrep07

    wow, you guys are gay as hell. ALL OF YOU! lol

    4 years agoby @flrep07Flag

  12. Phatlightning

    your just hating on the fact that i'm more popular, as well as my opinions.

    4 years agoby @sxers2k1Flag

  13. T.Clark

    Come read my review of this movie!!

    Sorry to advertise myself on ur review, phat :)

    4 years agoby @insertusernamehereFlag

  14. Marcusx

    dude, sorry DK. youre not my type. its not working out. my lawyer will be here in the morning. all you gotta do is sign the papers. i wana divorce

    4 years agoby @marcusxFlag

  15. The Dark Knight

    Oh how did you know we were married
    just kiding

    4 years agoby @thedarkknight23Flag

  16. THE JOKER

    wow i disagree i thgought this movie was good stfu..lol

    4 years agoby @dropemFlag

  17. ZanyZap

    MX and DK are like an old married couple...but at least MX brings the laughs.

    And thanks for bringing the review. I'll probably agree with you on all acounts, but I think I'll see this anyway.

    4 years agoby @zanyzapFlag

  18. Flrep07

    ohh, right.. lol. that was my point excatly Travis, from funny and quirky to more serious and more real.

    4 years agoby @flrep07Flag

  19. Marcusx

    i was saying there werent any love seens you queer haha (to JVA) all the rest of my comment was to TDK.

    4 years agoby @marcusxFlag

  20. T.Clark

    This has been gettin bad reviews. Just from the trailers i can tell it flip flops between comedy and seriousness...I'm still checkin it out :)

    4 years agoby @insertusernamehereFlag

  21. slysnide

    This confirms my susp*cions on what this movie was gonna be. Didn't wanna see it anyway. In a nutshell, it seems like a cornball wannabe hero/romantic comedy flick for teens.

    Nice review.

    4 years agoby @slysnideFlag

  22. Flrep07

    *showed them

    4 years agoby @flrep07Flag

  23. Flrep07

    who? are you talking to me marcus? you're the one that should them your myspace link with your disfigured pic and started asking them 21 questions (are you a guy) (do you like Pulp) (do you like hockey)... bitch. ha

    4 years agoby @flrep07Flag

  24. Marcusx

    well youre wrong, there arent lol and whatev Dk. dont you have a date with holly? or was it a 3 way with her and ashley? youre gonna get mugged

    4 years agoby @marcusxFlag

  25. Flrep07

    i still wanna see it. from the trailer it did look like a comedy, but it also shows a serious side of Hanc*ck. and the plot line described a love affair between Smith and Theron, so i know there's love scenes.

    4 years agoby @flrep07Flag

  26. The Dark Knight

    No my brother saw it last night dick he told me it suck and I don't to see okay

    4 years agoby @thedarkknight23Flag

  27. Marcusx

    btw, are you JR?

    4 years agoby @marcusxFlag

  28. Marcusx

    see it anyway dipsh*t. there is no law here that says you cant.

    4 years agoby @marcusxFlag

  29. The Dark Knight

    ahh man I wanted to see it that sucks

    4 years agoby @thedarkknight23Flag

  30. Phatlightning

    haha guys, by all means, go see it. I was just disappointed and wish I had waited and possibly have saved myself 8 dollars.

    4 years agoby @sxers2k1Flag