Halloween: Review By Null and Void.

"But despite the title ripoff and my dislike of his music, I was open minded and decided to give the movie a chance." - This *sshole (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9navr32UuP4)

Heh. People are funny. Whenever, I hear about a film I have no interest in, I don't see it (That is, unless I'm dragged. I'm talking to you, Zack). All over this magical interweb I find posts and reviews stating that "I really had no interest whatsoever in this flick when it was announced. But I paid to see it when it came out because I was curious." That is complete backwards thinking. But, people are idiotic and this phenomenon will not stop. I just think that people should be rational with their f*cking opinions and stick to them...Zack. Just kidding.

Now, here's my f*cking opinion:

My love affair with the sub-genre of horror films known as slashers started in July of 2002. "Halloween: Resurrection. You got it. I went to the theater with my sister, my "father", my brother, and my brother's friend. During the film, my sister was pretty much hiding under her chair, my brother had his teeth in his knees, my "father" was just going through the motions, the friend was in the fetal position on the floor, and I was just sitting there. Be in mind, I was around eight years old surrounded by twelve to fifty year olds sh*tting in their theater seats from terror. I didn't like the film, but I was intrigued. Intrigued by the idea that there were other films with this character known as Michael Audrey Myers. Not these f*cking W.B. kids. I proceeded to drag my mother to the video store and rent all of the "Halloween" films I could.

And here I am today. The f*cking weirdo who refers to himself as both "soylent green" and "a moodack".

Now, when I had heard that Rob Zombie was going to give the "Halloween" series a reboot by doing a version of the original "Halloween", I thought it was a good idea. The series was dead as dead and it needed a fresh new take. I had loved Zombie's "The Devil's Rejects" and he really did have a great style. But, of course, people complained, as they always do. And, of course, they all paid ten dollars to see it. Again, my above thought emerges.

There's a scene with Michael and Dr. Loomis in Smith's Grove Sanitarium where Michael has made a mask that is colored completely black. When Loomis asks him why it's black, Michael says that it's his favorite color. Loomis goes into an explanation about the color spectrum. Black is on one end and is the absence of color while white is at the opposite end and is every color. That's actually a great explanation of the differences between the original film and the remake. The original film would be the black segment of the spectrum. Carpenter's version leaves more to the viewer's imagination as the only explanation for Michael Myers is that he is "pure evil." While the remake would be the white segment of the spectrum as it goes into full detail why Michael Myers is the way he is and it shows every little violent and vulgar detail. Some people would say that having a little bit of mystery would be a good thing when it comes to a film like this. It all depends on the viewer and which end of the spectrum they prefer.

For those "some people" who think that this film "raped their childhood" (That is an actual post from IMDB), people don't realize that this is not the original franchise, it is a new one. Hence, it is not the same characters, so quit your f*cking whining.

Tyler Mane is a terrific Michael Myers. I loved Zombie's interpretation of Michael. In the original series, Myers was the embodiment of pure evil. In this one, he is a little boy trapped in this giant's body doing absolutely anything he can. An example of this is when Lindsay Wallace is watching television in her home and Michael is looming over her. He isn't staring at her, he is staring at the television hoping to finish the film he started watching seventeen years ago. In his commentary Zombie said, "If Annie hadn't interrupted his, he probably would have spent the entire night watching television. The adult version of Michael Myers is spot-on for a re-imagining of the film. It added a new dimension to an already dead character (see "Halloween: H20" and "Halloween: Resurrection").

However, skinny little Irish kids named Michael don't grow up to become seven foot tall, two-hundred and fifty pound profeesional wrestlers by making paper-mache masks and sitting hunch-backed in a chair.

Ravaged by critics and hardcore fans of Carpenter's horror masterpiece, Rob Zombie stepped up to the door, rang the bell and brought home a surprisingly intelligent and effective re-imagining of "Halloween" by both humanizing and de-mystifying Michael Myers.

Sometimes, nothing is more horrifying than the truth.