Green Lantern: Review By Nicholaus XX

Jan 5th, 2012 by Nicholaus XX
One-Paragraph Review Competition #4.
  • OVERALL
    2.0
    POOR
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
'Green Lantern' follows Hal Jordan, a test pilot who masks his scars with an intrepid attitude. Shortly after an incident that nearly costs him his job, Hal is united with an alien, who manages to seal Hal's fate in the Green Lantern Intergalactic Corps by giving him a ring, before meeting his very own demise. Hal now has the task of protecting Earth from Parallax, a powerful, menacing being who devours the souls of those who stand against it.

'Green Lantern' is the definition of superhero movies you DO NOT want to see. It is filled with terrible jokes and dialogue that sting our funny bone, a miscreant who causes derisive laughter instead of fear, and pacing equivalent to watching paint dry. I'd like to think that Martin Campbell's heart was in the right place, but that presence isn't felt, clearly because of how bad the execution was and how he did not mend his work.

In a nutshell, 'Green Lantern' wasn't the movie we thought/wanted it to be - instead it turned out to be just another scam that Hollywood formulated in order to get money out of our pockets.

Carol Ferris: " I used to sleep in. Then I turned 11."

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Comments (25)

  1. skywise

    @bawnian-dexeus i hope they leaned fromtheir mistakes. there is still a lot of potential with this character.

    10 months agoby @skywiseFlag

  2. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    @skywise@XxNickTheFilmCriticXx They can still salvage, if they keep it in space

    10 months agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  3. skywise

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx I was expecting so much more from this film...i guess i let myself down with my hih exoecations. Hopfully superman will make up this.

    10 months agoby @skywiseFlag

  4. Nicholaus XX

    @skywise -- Besides the "favorite" statement, I agree.

    10 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  5. skywise

    GL ids my favorite DC character and i just felt that that the movie did not do justice to the source material. Not to mention that Reyolds just is NOT the GL.

    10 months agoby @skywiseFlag

  6. Nicholaus XX

    @skywise -- I have the same thought process, so I completely understand where you're coming from. To be honest, writing these reviews takes a lot from me, and it doesn't help that I'm nit-picky. We should definitely try to get back into reviewing, man.

    10 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  7. skywise

    Its been a while since my lastreview...perhaps i should get back in to i but like i said.....i dont believe I can compare to those reiews

    10 months agoby @skywiseFlag

  8. skywise

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx I have not. I have such a good time reading user reviews...thats all i need. When i do actuallly find time to review i tend to review lesser known movies to get the wod out. honestly I dont think i can keep with the rest of you.

    10 months agoby @skywiseFlag

  9. Nicholaus XX

    @skywise -- Thanks. Have you ever entered this reviewing competition?

    10 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  10. skywise

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx As a huge fan of the GL comics i was definatly let down by this film. intereting review non-the-less

    10 months agoby @skywiseFlag

  11. Nicholaus XX

    @thedude-abides -- I'll definitely try to do so.

    10 months agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  12. thedude-abides

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx You should write more reviews.

    10 months agoby @thedude-abidesFlag

  13. thedude-abides

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx Oh well. Can't say you didn't try :)

    1 year agoby @thedude-abidesFlag

  14. Nicholaus XX

    @thedude-abides -- Nope, they won't.

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  15. thedude-abides

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx It's probably just a carry-over effect from the changes they made to the site recently. I guess that's worth a try if it'll let you do it.

    1 year agoby @thedude-abidesFlag

  16. Nicholaus XX

    @moviegeek@thedude-abides -- It won't let me conjoin the paragraphs together, but it'll let me edit my title, etc. What is up with this? I'm curious to know if I should delete the review entirely and then post it back up?

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  17. Nicholaus XX

    @thedude-abides -- I'll try again and see if it works. Thanks, man.

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  18. moviegeek

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx That's wierd. But then again they switched my avatar back to my old one a while back, so no tellin what's up with the site...

    1 year agoby @moviegeekFlag

  19. thedude-abides

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx Yeah, I'd just combine the paragraphs into one in order to avoid confusion. Great review, man.

    1 year agoby @thedude-abidesFlag

  20. Nicholaus XX

    I continue to edit it and submit the one-paragraphed version and it doesn't proceed. Does it take time?

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  21. Nicholaus XX

    @moviegeek -- True, but it sounds better being a one-paragraph competition over "8-sentence competition", correct?

    I'll just combine the paragraphs to avoid further dismay.

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  22. moviegeek

    @XxNickTheFilmCriticXx I guess not, but it still is a one-paragraph competition. Not an 8-sentence competition :P

    1 year agoby @moviegeekFlag

  23. Nicholaus XX

    @moviegeek -- I thought as long as it's 8 sentences long it doesn't matter. So, should I edit it and combine them all? @bawnian-dexeus

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  24. moviegeek

    You might want to make this... I don't know.. ONE paragraph? lol.

    Good review otherwise hehe :P

    1 year agoby @moviegeekFlag

  25. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    Good paragraph

    1 year agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag