G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra: Review By Goonies87

I really wanted this film to be a serious action WAR film not some sci-fi action kids movie thats compareable to like Spy Kids or Starship Troopers. I thought the beginning 1641 scene wasn't needed and the bad guys knocking down the Eiffel Tower. The warheads looked like Nerf footballs, the actor who played McCullen/Destro my god dude your scottish accent is so heavy-"I Vant the Varheads Veady in Vone Hour". I really thought that Brendan Fraser should of been in a bigger supporting role then his brief cameo appearance. Like if he played sort of the douchebag type soldier (like Mark Wahlberg as Dignam in The Departed) but second in commander under Dennis Quaid(General Hawke) that would of been so cool to see. I thought Dennis Quaid should of had a lot more action scenes that one scene when he was barely even scraped across the chest then next scene he was in a wheel chair and next using a cane...LAME. If there was like some scene with General Hawke(Dennis Quaid) battling McCullen, the white ninja or Cobra Commander that would have been so much better. I thought half the film from being the bad guys and good guys fighint over a warhead was a drag to watching Channing Tatum's acting was awful but Marlon Wayans was okay. The super suits you got me on that one. I expected a lot more from Director Stephen Sommers because this futuristic with a 60's James Bond feel is not cutting it. I wanted this film to be a serious action war film, being Rated R and having Dennis Quaid as General Hawke kicking bad guy ass, having it Rambo style down to the nitty gritty like Mel Gibson's We Were Soldiers meets John Travolta's Basic. Seriously If I saw some cool action as the intro with Dennis Quaid(Genral Hawke) like the same opening scene in Windtalkers with Nicolas Cage I would be happy but I am not. Also I really wanted Dwayne Johnson in the film as well as Shipwreck alongside Brendan Fraser. Overall this film was all around terrible, I laughed all the way through with my friends.