#8 Fight Club, this is Jack's review.
In Tyler we trust.
Listen up all you slack-jawed, waste of space, sick son of a bitches, prepare to have your f*cking mind blown with the Greatest, if not, the Best fighting movie ever made! Now forget about Rocky, Raging Bull, Warrior, and many other masterpieces in the art of fighting or boxing movies while you read this pile of sh*t review; Fight Club is a total mind-f*ck that you will never forget.
Fight Club is about an insomniac who wants to change his life for the better. Then he meets a soap-salesman by the name of Tyler Durden who uses a shocking therapy known only as "fight club".
Right from the very beginning as we, the viewer are sucked through a brain that was blown to bits, you already know this is going to be a very f*cking awesome movie. Listen to what the Narrator says, This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time. If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?
That's the whole mind boggling bat sh*t craziness that is Fight Club. Do you hear me know? Because I'm not sure you quite got that about what I said. Let me give you a few minutes to process your thoughts.....okay, now back to the review. Fight Club is directed by David Fincher, and this man has got to be known for the creating the most bizarre films of our time. From Panic Room, Benjamin Button, and the upcoming crime thriller, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.
Watching Fight Club, is like taking ecstasy (trust me, never taken drugs, but I'm pretty sure that's what it's like). The movie is an adaptation of the famous Chuck Palahniuk book of the same name, and it was brought to attention by Spider-Man trilogy producer, Laura Ziskin. You tell yourself that this is crazy...but Tyler Durden tells you that people do it everyday, they talk to themselves...they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it. That is exactly how Hollywood handled this film. Fox 2000 Pictures said "hey, let's take the risk and move forward with a highly 'fascist' movie ever made". And what a risk it was!
Here's an interesting theory: "Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows" Brad Pitt delivered in every scene he was in. I don't know any other type of dude to play the crazed, eccentric, macho-guy Tyler Durden, who's every quotes from "All the ways you wish you could be, that's me.
I look like you wanna look, I f*ck like you wanna f*ck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not." to "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." That's what I f*cking live by!! That is my inspiration, with the "once we lost everything, you're free to do anything" is my motto in life. And it should be all of your motto for life. Brad Pitt does a devilishly damn good performance.
He almost turned me gay! As much of a concern that is, I bring up the question: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch? Well, here's my answer: first, I would give the man the ass so he can think of it as a way of saying 'f*ck you *sshole, you wish you were licking my girlfriends p*ssy' and second, I would pass in front of an attractive female with my dick in her face. That's right bitch, suck it, because it'll be the best you ever tasted!
Anyways, where the hell was I? Oh, I remember, Edward f*cking Norton! This dude is such an awesome guy! I have never seen him act terrible in a film before; and it really is sad to think that he won't return in The Avengers to reprise his whole as Bruce Banner, but who the f*ck cares?!?! Edward Norton rocks the sh*t out of Fight Club. Watching the movie, I remember telling myself, damn, this guy is really good at playing a loser wimp like me who's ass started out like cookie dough and was then carved into wood.
Pretty harsh stuff when it comes to being in your very first fight. The guy did an impressive job and has not disappointed me yet. And that, is what a real man is supposed to look like. Although self-destruction may be the answer, it is masturbation that is the self-improvement in a "real man". He's right you know.
By the time Jack is finished typing this ridiculously great review that has ever been written, it's time to discuss Helena Bonham Carter and her outrageous role as the ever so f*ckable Marla. I can see that you have that sick laugh of depression saying to yourself "he finds her f*ckable?! what the hell is wrong with you dude!" No, I didn't say that, Tyler Durden said that, see I say whatever he says and right now, chill the f*ck out and let's finish this damn review!
Helena Bonham Carter is a really great person to do these kinda outrageous and over the top character roles, just like the awesomely talented Johnny Depp! (I swear, the two were made for each other) As if castrating cops weren't bad enough, she blatantly admits to Tyler Durden that she hasn't f*cked anyone like that since grade school..or was that to Ed Norton's character?
She does really great a playing around and acting like a c*ck tease whor* who only wants to change the Narrator's (Jack) life and he is their to change her life. Helena Bonham Carter is brilliant, her acting is brilliant and she does every possible strategy in the acting world to being closer to the edge of reality and alternate-reality. Now I am aware, that she may not be entirely believable, but I think it's more so the fact that I'm pretty sure their is no girl like Marla in the real world. I searched everywhere and the truth is that I'm sorry, everybody's sorry, but... I can't do this anymore. I can't. And I won't. I'm gone. Just like that, Marla and her insane personality is gone from reality.
Who knows, only you know, or you might think you know but until you know, you won't know and only think that Tyler Durden knows. Let that sink in for awhile since their will be a ton of that double meaning, read between the lines scenes in Fight Club. Fight Club is really psychological film, the average Joe movie viewer how sits on his fat ass in his underwear jacking off on the couch every afternoon might think that Fight Club is about some guy who starts an underground fighting ring in a basement at some run down bar. Well, by the time his thought processing realizes what it's about Fight Club is no longer Fight Club as it is now become Project Mayhem and you DO NOT ask questions about Project Mayhem!
God Damn! We just had a near-life experience, fellas. Thanks for the read, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it, and again, my apologizes for being so irrelevant and just plain out rude. But this is how Fight Club actually is, it is an in your face I don't give a rat's ass or a flying f*ck about your life! This is who I am, and you can't change me! You either join Fight Club (Project Mayhem) or die on the side of the road. So, are ready to be shot into space like a Space monkey? Are you Ready to sacrifice yourself for the greater good? Well, if you're up for the challenge friend...here are the Rules of Fight Club:
-The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.
-The second rule of Fight Club is: You DO NOT talk about Fight Club!
-Third rule of Fight Club: Someone yells "stop!", goes limp, taps out, the fight is over.
-Fourth rule of Fight Club: Only two guys to a fight.
-Fifth rule of Fight Club: One fight at a time, fellas.
-Sixth rule of Fight Club: No shirts, no shoes.
-Seventh rule of Fight Club: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
-And the eighth and Final rule: If this is your first time at Fight Club, you have to fight.
One more thing, this week, each one of you has a homework assignment: You're gonna go out, you're gonna find someone that has not seen this movie... and you're going to introduce them to Fight Club. Have fun!
PS: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f*cking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.