Drive: Review By ejk1

Apr 2nd, 2012 by ejk1
More like 'Parked.'
  • OVERALL
    4.5
    SUPERB
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
For months now, I have heard so many people say how good a film Drive, directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. It is compared to great films of the past, and everyone that has seen Drive has descried the fact that it was left out of the Best Picture race at the Academy Awards. How sorely disappointed I was when the film was over. But then again, how could I have expected anything more when Refn himself said the film was influenced in part by The Transporter?

The acting? Overrated. Ryan Gosling as as much presence on-screen as a Pez Dispenser. I'm so tired of hearing how this guy is the next best thing. The only thing he has ever done of worth is The Notebook, one of the greatest romantic films ever. People need to stop saying Gosling is great--he isn't. And the rest of the cast was ineffective as well. Carey Mulligan bores me, Bryan Cranston was wasted, and Albert Brooks needs to retire. I really wish actors/actresses would recognize when the time came to retire. Watching them embarrass themselves is just depressing.

The direction by Refn was horrible. Damn near atrocious. He might end up in the same category as Uwe Boll if he's not careful. Before seeing thisand from what others on MW have said, I was thinking Refn should be in line for Wonder Woman. Now I wouldn't let him near Static Shock.

In conclusion, by now some of you may have figured out this is an April Fools joke. To you good sirs and ladies, I say "kudos" for seeing through my words. For those of you that did not, I say, "HAHAHAHAHA!" The truth is I have yet to see Drive, although I plan to in the somewhat near future. But so many of you treat this film with such great praise (deserved, I'm sure) that it became the perfect tool to use in my little joke. And don't worry, I'll fix the category ratings after midnight to reflect the rating the rest of you gave to this film. I wonder how many of you I got.

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Comments (16)

  1. ejk1

    @the-movieghost Not changed. I had never seen the film before today. I wrote this as an April Fools Joke.

    3 months agoby @ejk1Flag

  2. the MovieGhost

    @ejk1 So just your overall feelings changed and not for the other categories?

    3 months agoby @the-movieghostFlag

  3. ejk1

    In actuality, I liked this film very much, as evidenced by my the score change.

    3 months agoby @ejk1Flag

  4. Corey W.

    @ejk1 The title of your review is still hilarious though. I can't get over that.

    1 year agoby @coreyFlag

  5. ejk1

    @dan1 Eh, I agree. I used all day to construct that review, and brought you in as my co-conspirator. I whipped this up in about 20 minutes. Just felt like doing something.

    1 year agoby @ejk1Flag

  6. Dan

    @ejk1 Not as good as last year :P

    1 year agoby @dan1Flag

  7. Nicholaus XX

    Oh, and nice try. I'd stay away from the blatant statements next time, taking the "The direction by Refn was horrible. Damn near atrocious. He might end up in the same category as Uwe Boll if he's not careful." statement/comparison into account.

    I applaud the attempt, though.

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  8. Nicholaus XX

    @thedude-abides -- I witnessed a couple of flaws that took me out of the movie, but I thought the soundtrack/cinematography, editing, directing, and acting more than made up for it. I think I'd give it 6.9/10 as of right now. I don't think I could watch it nearly as many times as you, though. One-time watch for me, personally.

    @ejk1 -- Movies "should" get better after each viewing, but in reality, 70% wind up a tad bit worse, some more than others. I think 20% of 'em would provide the same pleasure as they did the first time - "Drive" being the aforementioned, and "The Dark Knight" being an example of the latter.

    1 year agoby @XxNickTheFilmCriticXxFlag

  9. Corey W.

    You at me at, "The only thing he has ever done of worth is The Notebook, one of the greatest romantic films ever." bahahahhahaha

    1 year agoby @coreyFlag

  10. ejk1

    @jayaottley Yeah...I feel bad about taking a shot at Static Shock, but I needed a C-List comic book character, and his name just surfaced first. I love you, Static!

    1 year agoby @ejk1Flag

  11. Jay.A.Ottley

    @ejk1 LMAO....

    Here lies @jayaottley died in a review of drive laughing his ass off to the comparison of Ryan Gosling and a Pez dispenser... and a paragraph concluding on Static Shock & Wonder Woman.

    1 year agoby @jayaottleyFlag

  12. ejk1

    @corey ahh...you have a good memory, sir. I needs pull a new trick next year.

    1 year agoby @ejk1Flag

  13. Corey W.

    I knew it was. I remembered the Batman joke you pulled last year still.

    1 year agoby @coreyFlag

  14. ejk1

    @thedude-abides ah, well, that's actually discouraging. Movies should get better with each viewing, not worse.

    1 year agoby @ejk1Flag

  15. thedude-abides

    @ejk1 Somehow the Pez dispenser comparison brought a smile to my face, despite Gosling being one of my favorites :)

    April Fools Joke aside, the truth is, I was enthralled with Drive the first time I watched it. I've since seen it three times, and each time I've liked it less and less. My original 4-star rating now sits at a solid 3.0.

    1 year agoby @thedude-abidesFlag