DOA: Dead or Alive: Review By The CryptKeeper

May 13th, 2009 by The CryptKeeper
A very watchable piece of crap.
  • OVERALL
    2.5
    WORTHY
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
This movie has an equal amount of good, and bad. There was a lot of bad, and if it weren't for the good there was, this movie would have been majorly bad, instead of just kinda bad.

Good-

I always love video-game style, unrealistic action, which many movies seem to not have. So that's some of the good. The rest is the very pretty girls fighting and showing off their lovely bodies, yet still maintaining that damn PG-13 rating.

Bad-

Pretty much everything else. One of the chicks wasn't very pretty- Devon Aoki, she was in Sin City. Then you got the girls being bitches. I always hate it when girls are mean to men by either grabbing them in the crotch to the point of pain, and when girls play jokes on guys by stealing their clothes. And that goes both ways, so guys- don't do that either. Also, crappy, cheesy acting, laughable dialogue, and a story made of smelly sh*t.

The story starts out pretty good. Cheesy, but cool, and interesting. After kicking some one's ass, they just happen to get an invitation to DOA- a place where you randomly fight a person you're paired up with. Whoever is the last one standing wins 10 million dollars... Cool... Then they throw in some BS about this guy taking over the world, or something... I don't really know, it kinda lost me there.

The acting is very bad, and cheesy. Sure, the girls are pretty, but their acting skills need to improve immensely, along with all the side actors. But maybe it wasn't their fault. It could have been the terrible dialogue.

The director is Coret Yuen, who did The Transporter (only the first). The Transporter is way better. I mean, his directing wasn't horrible, itself. He didn't write the script, or dialogue... But he still let all this bad stuff go into his movie.

Overall, not a horrible movie, but it does have a lot wrong with it.

By the way, I've never played the game, so I can't say if this is a good adaptation of it or not. In fact, I didn't even know it was a game until I saw a comment on the back on the DVD saying it was.

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Comments (8)

  1. The CryptKeeper

    Gotta love Jamie Pressly in this lol

    3 years agoby @catwomanFlag

  2. The CryptKeeper

    Thanks, man! lol and if there's no girls in Street Fighter, I'll pass ;)

    3 years agoby @catwomanFlag

  3. The First Avenger: JohnnyBlaze

    ahahahah always liked yer style Crypt always to the point an not afraid to tell it like it is. this movie is pretty horrble, but have you seen Street fighter: the legend of Chun li? its pretty much this movie WITHOUT the pretty girlsh hahaha

    3 years agoby @johnnyblazetb82Flag

  4. The CryptKeeper

    Thanks everyone! And sorry for the big error in the title- spell check missed it I guess

    3 years agoby @catwomanFlag

  5. Shelley

    I like that 'a watchable piece of crap'. Good review, I just do not have any interest in seeing this.

    3 years agoby @shelleyFlag

  6. ed_wood

    It was bad but I enjoyed it. It was worth the five dollars I paid for it.

    3 years agoby @ed-woodFlag

  7. kyle_hannah

    Oh god this is possibly one of the worst films i've ever seen. Shameless wire fights and beyond terrible acting...not to mention ero plot lol. I'll admit it does have some charming camp value though

    3 years agoby @kyle-hannahFlag

  8. 313td

    It wasn't great,but I would have given it 3 stars.lol

    3 years agoby @313tdFlag