Dark Shadows: Review By TheFury

Take a show from the 70's, that doesn't hold up, also from a century when television was at it's worst, and then turn it into a movie that tries a different concept from the original premise but still delivers the same blandness as seen in the television show.

This is the formula behind Tim Burton's Dark Shadows. Extremely misled by the trailers, Dark Shadows kicks you in the throat and prevents every bit of funny moment from actually being humorous. I wanted a more comedic take on this story but I got sh*t just like the television program. As usual, Johnny Depp chews up almost all of the scenes, but without any effort from any of the other talents. Eva Green was pretty good. But that's about it. Chloe Moretz really bothered me in this. Michelle Phiffer used every bit of animal tested products on the face of this planet to not look like Skeletor's sister.

Dark Shadows, had great potential to be a fun horror comedy but decided to take the obvious route of relying on this present film industry's tagline, Nostalgia-mania, trying to the bring the irrelevant 70's program back to life and failed.