'Catwoman' Review By Bawnian©-Dexeus

Not My Favorite P*ssy
  • OVERALL
    2.0
    POOR
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Catwoman is a 2004 action heroine movie.

Directed by: Pitof

Starring: Halle Berry, Sharon Stone, Tom Lone, and George Hedare.

Selina Kyle. Arguably the sexiest woman in the DC roster of female heroines, villains and anti-heroes. One problem though, this is not the Catwoman you've grown up with. This is not Selina Kyle. This my friends, is another bastardized character in the movie industry. Taking a break from Batman, I decided to revisit this project for the hell of it in my DC marathon. Meet Patience Philips, your average desk job secretary type character who gets for the third time the Michelle Pfeiffer treatment for her origin. She witnesses what wasn't meant to be seen, gets flushed down and drowned the company pipes and is revived by an impossibly size group of hobo cats. It turns more into a ritual that has spanned throughout the ages of all living cats since the days of the Egyptians to give life to Catwoman.

So forget going with the orphan turned robin hood who steals from the rich just to piss them off and help her self. Here we had a chance to create an unconventional role model for female viewers turned later into your average Hollywood screwup. I sound harsh, but as fan of the character, it's a horrible interpretation. What's the plot? Skin cream. Yeah...There's nothing more devilish than attacking a woman's face. I guess it was just a ploy to show a live action version of what a cat fight would look like between a former bombshell and a newer version of the term. Sharon Stone plays a scorned wife with an agenda to replace her husband as CEO and gain power and wealth. She also has a psychological imbalance no doubt attributed to her goals and the constant usage of her face cream. She brought in her Basic Instinct character for a second run, even though it only partially worked.

How can you be an Oscar winner and not realize a bat script? Or was it just an opportunity to cash on a possible hero franchise? I could care less of the color or ethnicity of Catwoman, as long as the actress is equipped physically and talent driven. Halle had the build, but her acting here couldn't save the movie from the dialogue and poor plot. I could dig the supernatural elements for the hell of it, but a bit exaggerated if you ask me. Even cats can't maneuver so efficiently. But at least the movie gets a star for keeping the whip and giving Catwoman so somewhat sexy costume. I still prefer full covered but I can work with the provided clothing.

A short take on this movie, but you get my point. There's a right way and a wrong way to do adaptations of pop culture characters. Hollywood tends to do more wrong than right, and sometimes, the right way is done without the studio being involved. Overall, a very unlikely guilty pleasure where I find myself rarely revisiting.

Written by: Bawnian©-Dexeus.

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Comments (14)

  1. THE JOKER

    Either way, it was horrible!

    2 years agoby @mcleve02Flag

  2. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    @corey Nah. Just distributed by WB and a quasi-spin-off from the Batman series. Guess I should correct that

    2 years agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  3. Corey W.

    Loved the title, haha. Awesome stuff.I don't consider this to be a DC adaptation though. Was it even marked by the company?

    2 years agoby @coreyFlag

  4. THE JOKER

    @bawnian-dexeus I agree. It worked, why not use it!

    2 years agoby @mcleve02Flag

  5. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    @mcleve02 Warner Bros. has a low angle of doing JLA so I have no major hopes for it. I'm not convinced their plan will work. I mean, it's better to adopt Marvel's format and not care if they are called copycats or not. Nolan basically drew a rule book for future hero movies that even Marvel took into consideration. It takes a big studio to ask for help or seek an alternative. That's how I see it

    2 years agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  6. THE JOKER

    That could be a good angle to a sad reboot of Batman as well, or the JLA... introduce the characters through small cameos.. I just hope with the Man of Steel, they let that be Superman and not a lead into JLA...

    2 years agoby @mcleve02Flag

  7. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    @mcleve02 Must have a Batman cameo. Introduce her complicated relationship for only a few times to satisfy the masses. Obviously a ploy to get more viewers, but hey, I'm no fool.

    2 years agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  8. THE JOKER

    @bawnian-dexeus I could totally see that! Just need the correct director as well! You can only do so much with an all star cast!

    2 years agoby @mcleve02Flag

  9. slysnide

    I just wonder why Halle Berry agreed to do this at all.

    2 years agoby @slysnideFlag

  10. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    @ghostman My quote is basically the opposite of DeVito's Penguin in Batman Returns

    2 years agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  11. Bawnian©-Dexeus

    @mcleve02 If another is to be made, it's still possible for it to be done right, and with Olivia Wilde

    2 years agoby @bawnian-dexeusFlag

  12. THE JOKER

    Good review! I think my favorite sexiest DC girl is going to be Talia though! Especially after Arkham City... Dear God... But I agree with the review.. this movie just never should have been made... beore Nolan came into the picture anyways! :)

    2 years agoby @mcleve02Flag

  13. Ghostman

    Lmao at your quote @bawnian-dexeus, I'm sure she's your favorite berry though ;)

    2 years agoby @ghostmanFlag