Burlesque: Critic Reviews

Maybe Burlesque will serve as the imitation goods that spurs a consumer revolution for something more authentic. Aw, who am I kidding? It won't.

A movie that quickly proves achingly dull, with none of the madness, verve or talent of Paul Verhoeven's "Showgirls" or even the workmanlike energy of Rob Marshall's "Chicago."

Tucci is great and underused, and Cher acquits herself nicely in her first film role in seven years. But writer/director Steve Antin has his stars sashaying between dance numbers with little narrative thread.

This corny guilty pleasure of a movie is a fitting two-hander for these seasoned pros.

It's entertaining enough, like watching a celebrity workout film with a plot. But never once is it believable. Really, the movie should last 30 seconds.

Instead of leading with what Aguilera does best -- belting, vamping, spotlight hogging -- the movie shoehorns her into a rehashed backstage musical conceit.

Two hours of recycled plots and plastic acting.

If I seem fixated on appearances here, what can I tell you; there isn't much else here on which to fixate one's attention.

Has the glitz and allure of a Victoria's Secret ad. What it doesn't have is an imaginative reinvention of the show-biz cliches that have so adamantly inspired it.

It's more hallucination than story, but hey, If you think of it as a slightly deranged long music video divathon it can be a lot of fun.

The choicest dialogue in Burlesque provokes the sort of laughter that other, intentionally funny films only dream of generating.

Even the dances feel cozily dated, as choreographers Denise Faye and Joey Pizzi borrow liberally from Bob Fosse.

Burlesque is a preposterous and intermittently entertaining lesson in how to make a movie musical with a little brains and a lot of talent.

Not as bad as "Showgirls" but not nearly as good as "Chicago," "Burlesque" hits its marks and high-kicks its way offstage just before it gets the hook.

Every Thanksgiving needs a turkey, and this year's comes wrapped in a lacy bustier.

I's not interesting enough to be a disaster.

This one is strictly for Cher fans who like their campy shtick loud, lewd and ludicrous. But the biggest problem among many is that it's not her movie. She's hardly in it.

An overwrought, underwritten hootchy-kootchy tuner that desperately wants to be Cabaret, but lacks the edge and historical context to pull it off.

Aguilera can dance like nobody's business, but her acting debut isn't going to keep Anne Hathaway awake at night.

It's more corny than campy and more silly than sexy, much more's the pity. No one could say that Aguilera doesn't give it her all, though. This is her first real acting assignment, and by God, she's going to act.

Falling in the pillowy cleavage between mildly awful and slightly entertaining, Burlesque is a cliched rags-to-diva story that culminates in a series of Christina Aguilera videos.

A campy, satisfying showcase for the impressively flashy vocal and sartorial stylings of Cher and Christina Aguilera.

A refreshing throwback to movie musicals that celebrates its stars while indulging in sexy fun.

The rest of Burlesque plays like an extended version of the "Lady Marmalade" video, with a few contrivances to provide vague conflict.

The movie is frivolous fun, but not, as I had sort of hoped, as sinfully awful as Showgirls, Mariah Carey's Glitter or Britney Spears' Crossroads.