Bordello of Blood: Review By The CryptKeeper

Oct 6th, 2008 by The CryptKeeper
What is this? Medieval foreplay?
  • OVERALL
    3.5
    GREAT
  • Story
  • Acting
  • Directing
  • Visuals
Well, it took me long enough to see this! But now I finally have! First I added it to my blockbuster.com queue, and they never sent the stupid thing. But then one day it was on TV, so I watched it. But I could tell they were editing so much due to content, and to fit the time slot. So finally Blockbuster shipped the disc, and I just saw it. It was what I expected, not as good as Demon Knight, but not terrible.

I thought that this had a good storyline, and the film coud have been better, it took a different direction; and I will talk more about that later. But it's about a woman and her brother that get in a fight one night. The brother (played by Corey Feldman) gets pissed and leaves the house for the night. Guess where he goes. Yep, you guessed it. Turns out that these hookers are vampires!!! Pretty good twist on vampirism. Too bad the movie doesn't have as much vampire action as I thought. It's more of the investigation of trying to find the brother that went missing.

The acting is decent by all but one.... Dennis Miller. He is SO annoying. He plays the guy hired to find the woman's brother. But he has this thing where he tries to be funny, and sometimes prevails, but most of the time, he fails. The rest of the acting is just average, neither good, nor bad.

The visuals were actually pretty cool. No, I am not talking about the large amount of nudity. I prefer not to see fake boobs, thank you very much, however, towards the end when the lead "vampire hooker" reveals her true self, it looks pretty cool. Good makeup, and gore.

The overall film is decent, but should have taken itself seriously. I don't mind a movie having a sense of humor. But this one just needed more horror. Demon Knight is better. I recommend this for a one time viewing, but not a buy.

complaints-

-Too much humor, distracted from the movie's "scary" intent.

-Dennis Miller needs to stop being an idiot, and get some funny jokes.

-The Cryptkeeper intro, and extro (if that's a word) are reminiscent to an episode who's title escapes me. I think it was in season 4.

-The hookers were not attractive, like they were supposed to be.

Do you like this review?

Comments (11)

  1. The CryptKeeper

    agreed on Dennis Miller, and that red head

    4 years agoby @catwomanFlag

  2. BlizZzario, Bizniches

    Not only retarded, I quite frankly dont like him, nor think he's funny

    shes alright, theres much better looking red heads out thier.

    BlizZzard

    4 years agoby @blizzzardFlag

  3. The CryptKeeper

    Well, I guess the one you are talking about was bearable to look at, but all the other hookers were not attractive. lol

    and I am giessing you agree on Dennis Miller, then, huh? ya, hes retarded.

    thanks

    4 years agoby @catwomanFlag

  4. BlizZzario, Bizniches

    Dennis Miller is suppose to be a comedian, and I agree Demon Knight was so much better, F*cking Billy Zane, f*ck yeah , anyway, Crypt now I'm going to let you into my psyche now, seeing as you did the same for me, Angie Everhart, is my ideal women, but not necessarily her, but tall, red head, with green or blue eyes, is my ideal girl, with a slight dark side, anyway I think Demon Knight was better because it's so original and really hit that mark, unlike this which was average, as you rated it, I agree with you for this movie.

    BlizZzard

    4 years agoby @blizzzardFlag

  5. The CryptKeeper

    thanks JR

    and to TDK, or should i say ..... yes, he does look familair. i think he was in The Net with Sandra Bullok

    4 years agoby @catwomanFlag

  6. The Dark Knight

    F*CK OFF I'M DONE WITH IT HERE!!!!!!!!

    4 years agoby @thedarkknight23Flag

  7. JR

    good review

    4 years agoby @jokerrules33Flag

  8. The Dark Knight

    where have I seen that guy?

    4 years agoby @thedarkknight23Flag

  9. The CryptKeeper

    Thanks, guys. Always like to get good feedback!

    4 years agoby @catwomanFlag

  10. MovieNerd

    Good review.

    4 years agoby @nickoFlag

  11. ed_wood

    Good review, I thought this one was pretty cool. I agree, Demon Knight was better.

    4 years agoby @ed-woodFlag