'Battleship' Critic Reviews

73%
MovieWeb:   14 reviews
34%
Rotten Tomatoes:   211 reviews
  • Sean O'Connell CinemaBlend.com
    50
    The whole movie feels like Roland Emmerich's sperm and Michael Bay's sperm fertilized an egg Tony Scott cryogenically froze back in 1986, producing a "baby" with qualities of all of its "birth" fathers.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Pete Vonder Haar Houston Press
    10
    There's nothing about Battleship that doesn't feel like the conclusion of a hundred lengthy focus group discussions.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Sandie Angulo Chen Common Sense Media
    60
    Over-the-top sci-fi action with great special effects.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Steve Persall Tampa Bay Times
    17
    "What's the difference between a battleship and a destroyer?" asks a starstruck boy upon meeting a U.S. Navy hero-to-be in Battleship. The smart answer would be "one peg hole".... The sailor says something else because Battleship isn't a smart movie.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Dave White Movies.com
    70
    It's a multi-layer cake frosted with Rihanna pointing big guns at giant space ships and letting off all her rounds while screaming "AUUUUGGGHHH!"
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Willie Waffle WaffleMovies.com
    13
    Taylor Kitsch might be trying to fire his agent as we speak.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Andrea Chase Killer Movie Reviews
    60
    the film adds space invaders to the traditional maritime conflict, yet never forgets its humble roots as a board game played with pegs and increasingly educated guesses
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Jeff Meyers Metro Times (Detroit, MI)
    34
    ...more than two hours of high-priced explosion porn that piles on its chest-thumping "America, f&%k yeah!" machismo with a brazenness that makes Top Gun seem Merchant-and-Ivory quaint.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) St. Paul Pioneer Press
    63
    It's the sort of movie every summer needs. And stick around for a fun post-credits sequence that hints at a sequel.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Mark Dujsik Mark Reviews Movies
    38
    A distended and entirely generic movie about a trio of Navy ships (and, if one is generous, the people onboard) that are the last line of defense when aliens invade Earth.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Joe Williams St. Louis Post-Dispatch
    50
    Some guilty-pleasure cheese atop a ration of stale popcorn can't cleanse the distastefulness that "Battleship" leaves in its wake.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Dustin Putman DustinPutman.com
    50
    One ethnic stereotype, two objectifying shots of the supermodel-ready female form, and three set-pieces of choppy, ADD-massaging quick edits away from being titled "Transformers 4."
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Peter Sobczynski eFilmCritic.com
    20
    It may leave you screaming "Turn it off!" or, at the very least, "Jumanji!"
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Gary Thompson Philadelphia Daily News
    75
    It's fast, efficient, and keenly aware of its popcorn-movie mission statement.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Cole Smithey ColeSmithey.com
    34
    "Battleship" is a loud and booming-blow-'em-up movie made for a 12-year-old target audience. Adults should sit this one out - that is, if you don't want to be exposed to a two-hour long headache.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Brian Orndorf BrianOrndorf.com
    25
    All hopped up on Michael Bay-brand steroids, Berg attempts to outwit his audience by playing so broadly with a painfully simple concept. It's a shame almost nothing in Battleship comes close to genuine fun.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Jon Niccum Kansas City Star
    25
    Saluting both the American flag and filmmaker Michael Bay, 'Battleship' rises to new heights of pandering while Erich and Jon Hoeber's screenplay sinks to depths of dopiness.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Scott Tobias AV Club
    34
    The Marines got that commercial where the recruit slays the fire-spewing lava monster, and now the Navy has its two-hour propaganda film about the glories of fighting alien invaders positioned in neat little quadrants at sea. Just try to forget it's a toy
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Stephanie Zacharek Movieline
    56
    Perhaps not quite as painful as you might be expecting, though probably not as enjoyable, either.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Graham Killeen Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
    38
    Berg does his best to emulate Michael Bay's timeless military-fetish-meets-farting-robots aesthetic, but he never succeeds at putting together an action set-piece that clicks.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Nell Minow Beliefnet
    75
    A good, old-fashioned summer popcorn movie...and Rhianna is a hoot.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Matt Pais RedEye
    75
    Mind-numbingly entertaining. It's great when summer blockbuster offers clever verses, but I'll settle for a killer chorus.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Laura Clifford Reeling Reviews
    25
    ...dumber than a box of rocks. These filmmakers have paid no attention to physics, logic, consistency or real people.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Brandon Judell CultureCatch
    If Ed Wood had a budget of a $100 million to throw around, even he might not have been able to direct a film as godawful as Battleship -- or as in poor taste.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Rebecca Murray About.com
    17
    ...for some unknown reason Battleship tries to play like a romantic comedy - complete with a meet cute - for the first 1/3 of its overly long running time.
    Full Review » 2 years ago