'Battleship' Critic Reviews

73%
MovieWeb:   14 reviews
34%
Rotten Tomatoes:   211 reviews
  • Widgett Walls Needcoffee.com
    40
    'Veterans & Aliens'? That would have been a better movie.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Mathew DeKinder St. Louis Post-Dispatch
    30
    There is an earnestness to Battleship that makes it impossible to hate even with its clunky dialogue and plot holes so big you could float the entire Pacific Fleet through them.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Christopher Orr The Atlantic
    Battleship is substantially less awful than it could have been. And for me, that may have been the biggest disappointment of all.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Matthew Razak Flixist.com
    63
    Battleship is a movie where even benign satellite messages sent from NASA to distant worlds are giant laser beams that shoot through space causing lens flares and surround sound action.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Wilson Morales BlackFilm.com
    40
    When Michael Bay is unavailable to do the job, Peter Berg is the guy they called to direct. Sadly, if you needed a film to go along with the lame alien film Skyline, 'Battleship' is the perfect companion.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Leonard Maltin Leonard Maltin's Picks
    Finally, Hollywood has produced a movie for people who found the 'Transformers' series too intellectually challenging.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Sean O'Connell CinemaBlend.com
    50
    The whole movie feels like Roland Emmerich's sperm and Michael Bay's sperm fertilized an egg Tony Scott cryogenically froze back in 1986, producing a "baby" with qualities of all of its "birth" fathers.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Pete Vonder Haar Houston Press
    10
    There's nothing about Battleship that doesn't feel like the conclusion of a hundred lengthy focus group discussions.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Austin Kennedy Sin Magazine
    63
    I didn't come to a movie called BATTLESHIP to see a bunch of crap that I could've watched on 90210. I want to see explosions and aliens and what-not!
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) St. Paul Pioneer Press
    63
    It's the sort of movie every summer needs. And stick around for a fun post-credits sequence that hints at a sequel.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Mark Dujsik Mark Reviews Movies
    38
    A distended and entirely generic movie about a trio of Navy ships (and, if one is generous, the people onboard) that are the last line of defense when aliens invade Earth.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Joe Williams St. Louis Post-Dispatch
    50
    Some guilty-pleasure cheese atop a ration of stale popcorn can't cleanse the distastefulness that "Battleship" leaves in its wake.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Dustin Putman DustinPutman.com
    50
    One ethnic stereotype, two objectifying shots of the supermodel-ready female form, and three set-pieces of choppy, ADD-massaging quick edits away from being titled "Transformers 4."
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Peter Sobczynski eFilmCritic.com
    20
    It may leave you screaming "Turn it off!" or, at the very least, "Jumanji!"
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Gary Thompson Philadelphia Daily News
    75
    It's fast, efficient, and keenly aware of its popcorn-movie mission statement.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Cole Smithey ColeSmithey.com
    34
    "Battleship" is a loud and booming-blow-'em-up movie made for a 12-year-old target audience. Adults should sit this one out - that is, if you don't want to be exposed to a two-hour long headache.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Brian Orndorf BrianOrndorf.com
    25
    All hopped up on Michael Bay-brand steroids, Berg attempts to outwit his audience by playing so broadly with a painfully simple concept. It's a shame almost nothing in Battleship comes close to genuine fun.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Jon Niccum Kansas City Star
    25
    Saluting both the American flag and filmmaker Michael Bay, 'Battleship' rises to new heights of pandering while Erich and Jon Hoeber's screenplay sinks to depths of dopiness.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Scott Tobias AV Club
    34
    The Marines got that commercial where the recruit slays the fire-spewing lava monster, and now the Navy has its two-hour propaganda film about the glories of fighting alien invaders positioned in neat little quadrants at sea. Just try to forget it's a toy
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Stephanie Zacharek Movieline
    56
    Perhaps not quite as painful as you might be expecting, though probably not as enjoyable, either.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Graham Killeen Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
    38
    Berg does his best to emulate Michael Bay's timeless military-fetish-meets-farting-robots aesthetic, but he never succeeds at putting together an action set-piece that clicks.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Nell Minow Beliefnet
    75
    A good, old-fashioned summer popcorn movie...and Rhianna is a hoot.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Matt Pais RedEye
    75
    Mind-numbingly entertaining. It's great when summer blockbuster offers clever verses, but I'll settle for a killer chorus.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Laura Clifford Reeling Reviews
    25
    ...dumber than a box of rocks. These filmmakers have paid no attention to physics, logic, consistency or real people.
    Full Review » 2 years ago
  • Brandon Judell CultureCatch
    If Ed Wood had a budget of a $100 million to throw around, even he might not have been able to direct a film as godawful as Battleship -- or as in poor taste.
    Full Review » 2 years ago